PrancingDumpling
PrancingDumpling

How to find a hubby?

I have been online on a lot of sites (shaadi.com, Bharatmatrimony etc) for 2 years now but it’s been really hard to get a guy.

There have not been many expectations, just a decently well educated guy who can talk with respect to ladies (I find it really hard to get guys of the latter, on these sites)

Those who were successful in arranged marriage, how did you do it? Any tips please. Should I pay some matchmakers? Suggestions are welcome.

18mo ago
WobblyBanana
WobblyBanana

I doubt your expectation is just a well educated guy. There are hidden parameters u arent sharing. Or when the guy presents itself you are making some reason to not proceed

GroovyBoba
GroovyBoba

True. Line nahi khatam hoti laundo ki when it comes to job or marriage opportunity

SqueakyCupcake
SqueakyCupcake

I was about to suggest to try overseas guys, but then I remember….

JazzyBoba
JazzyBoba
Adobe18mo

Unbelievable post. It's so skewed for women on online matrimony. A girl would get hundreds of requests. Why can't you still find a partner? There are definitely some other parameters which you didn't share.

QuirkyCupcake
QuirkyCupcake
Nokia18mo

True, all have load of preferences

FloatingPretzel
FloatingPretzel

Analze the life of a boy's mother. Boy are close to them and expect similar things with life partner.
If mom is decent there is fair chance the boy is also the same .

PeppyNarwhal
PeppyNarwhal
Swiggy18mo

Lol! What kind of bizarre logic is this?

PerkyMochi
PerkyMochi

It’s bizarre but so damn true.

GoofyDonut
GoofyDonut

Since you've already tried online, might as well put an advert on a billboard, or walk with a sign /s

GroovyBoba
GroovyBoba

Like those Zomato-Blinkt ads.
Ladka mangao geh, fauj denge

JumpyWalrus
JumpyWalrus

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

BubblyTaco
BubblyTaco

Not to sound harsh but here it goes. For an arranged marriage (in normal scenario), anybody listing on matrimony website is a red flag. You either don't have social connections (🚩), or nobody wants to recommend you a proposal because of your red flags. So a mutual connection arranged marriage is always the way to go.

JumpyPretzel
JumpyPretzel

Yeah, like lakhs of people there are all walking red flags!!

BubblyTaco
BubblyTaco

I have clearly mentioned 'normal scenario' India is overpopulated anyways There are a good number of divorcees too In India, matrimony website is your last option I speak from what I have seen

ZippyMochi
ZippyMochi

It's a numbers game. 100 matches/people you speak to = 10 interesting ones = 2-3 potential partners. Keep looking, you'll get there.

Do check your standards though, if you're looking for attributes like more than 6 ft tall or earns a bomb, you will find very few options and conversely those guys will have a lot more options than you do.

Don't lock a wedding unless you spend at least a few months knowing your potential partner and having at least one fight/argument to see how they react to fights.

That doesn't mean you initiate an argument for the sake of this, but you need to look out for it. Underrated skill is to stay calm in tense situations and steer towards peace. Men often have a hard time controlling their emotions.

Don't pay matchmakers, it's not worth it. Dating apps have a way bigger catalog of people that matchmakers will never be able to compete with.

JumpyWalrus
JumpyWalrus

Good insight. Thanks buddy.

MagicalBurrito
MagicalBurrito

I have never understood the logic of having atleast one fight. It is just too biased an emotion to use as your benchmark. Any couple will fight and they generally learn how to navigate those fights as a couple. That will happen after you have fought multiple times.

ZestyQuokka
ZestyQuokka

Not my place to offer advice, but some genuinely good (sounds so) men commented here. You can speak with them off grapevine Worth giving a shot

https://grapevine.in/post/808462ef-8ae0-4269-aaa3-c683ba1194bb

JumpyRaccoon
JumpyRaccoon

Ahem ahem! 😬

FloatingCupcake
FloatingCupcake

I find it really hard to get guys of the later

Cause most of the men who talk with respect to ladies don't end up in these sites. They easily get their partner on their own.

I also suggest joining activities or clubs you like and meet people organically if possible instead of relying on these things.

JumpyPretzel
JumpyPretzel

Not really. Many men there in same stage as her.

FloatingCupcake
FloatingCupcake

Which stage are you referring to here?

QuirkyMarshmallow
QuirkyMarshmallow

Fortunately or unfortunately, these sites have made the potential pool large so that you can key in your search params and find top matches. However, top matches may have different criteria than yours. Even if it matches, there is always someone new who is joining every week so the match or the tendency is to keep the match on hold and find a better match. After all what is the urgency?

SqueakyBurrito
SqueakyBurrito

Absolutely true ...main reason today for not getting the right match... because the next right match is a swipe away....and it's true for both sides...

QuirkyMarshmallow
QuirkyMarshmallow

Also, you should use these sites for discovery only. Rest of the verification and kundali matching etc should be done offline like the good old days.

DancingNoodle
DancingNoodle

I meet your expectations. Should we continue the talk and take it forward? Maybe grapevine would work for you

SqueakyPretzel
SqueakyPretzel
Amazon18mo

Oh my god 🤣🤣🤣W for the attempt tho. Amazing

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