I heard you. But don't let these emotions dominate you, don't let them control you. Because somewhere in future you might meet a suitable prospect, and your emotions might rush you, you might wanna do all these, instead of actually assessing the situation & her and it's a completely risky bet, nobody knows how she will take them.. and more importantly, might lead you to broken/trauma state.
If you wanna take out the pain, write. Write about your emotions & pain. But don't try to push someone your emotions, the situtatio you have written is a very sacred state, and very few people give that comfort (at least takes a year)
Take care bud.