I am corporate girlie...in love with a guy....gonna be married within 2 months. My bf loves kids where as I don't. I don't want to take responsibility of being 24*7 available for a toddler, leaving my job. It's anyways very hard to get one in this economy. Have already told my guy but he wants a family .What should I doooo?
broke up with my girl just days before engagement for the same reason. She didn’t want em I wanted em. Don’t marry if you guys aren’t on the same page for this. :D
If your husband earns enough, why do you want to slog for a company that will fire you whenever they want? Sit at home and chill, find a hobby or startup project, explore life. Toddler can happen later too, initial years of marriage are great for travel and exploration as a couple.
Oh of course, because women having career goals or ambitions is totally out of the question, right?
Hey @SmellluCat just wanted to jump in here because @Bhidus take really feels off to me. It’s got that old-school, "women should stay home" vibe, which is totally outdated. The idea that women can’t have both a career and a family life is just wrong. Lots of people—men and women—work and still manage to raise amazing families. It’s all about balance, support, and finding the right system that works for you and your partner.
Men need to step up too—raising kids isn’t just a “woman’s job.” If your boyfriend wants kids, he needs to be equally involved in the parenting process. You shouldn’t have to shoulder all the responsibility just because you’re a woman. Families today are about teamwork, not just one person carrying the load.
I get it—having a child is a big decision and it's super important to align on that with your partner. If your hesitation about having kids is purely career-focused, maybe you two could figure out a plan where your career isn’t put on pause while still making space for a family. It’s totally possible to have both, but it requires planning, communication, and a bit of compromise.
Also, don’t feel bad about any of this. These decisions should be logical and aligned with your priorities, and if that means letting go of a relationship because your life goals don’t match, then it’s better to know now. You’ve got to do what’s best for you, both in the short and long term. Trust me, it’ll be worth it in the end.
Kya karogi itne paisa jab tumhara koi legacy hi nai hoga. For the company you are just a number jis din mood hua over and out. Money is medium to exchange goods. Money itself dont have any value.
Having and raising a kid is a big commitment. A big sacrifice too. Don't listen to all the generalizations here girl. People without exposure to true independence and ambition would judge you, give gyan without being in your shoes. Listen to your own voice. Ask yourself if the guy and his wishes are worth the sacrifice for you. If he wants a kid to feel fulfilled in life, he deserves it (with you, with someone else, or maybe even adopted). Similarly you deserve to live your life to the fullest too (people will often tell you that you aren't that important but society, culture etc. is). See if any of you value your bonds more than these seperate desires. If not then it is better to end the relationship for the benefit of both. If you think he is more valuable then you will find a way to be satisfied (if not happy) with the sacrifice of bearing the child. Only with that satisfaction can you be the mother that a child deserves. Ask yourself whether the relationship is worth the sacrifice while doing something that brings you peace (like while having tea or trekking or gardening etc. that calms you). The answer will be your solution.
Thanks . Really helpful ❤️❤️
See, females have to bear the brunt of having the ability to produce another human being. No one in this world can change that. It's an evolutionary thing.
You need to walk this discussion very carefully with your love, so keep it clear in your head.
If career success is all you need in your life, let him go. Don't marry anyone. All your time should be going in your career efforts. This fact has nothing to do with gender. Exemplary success in career comes at a cost, irrespective of gender, occupation. That cost often comes by deprioritizing other things (usually family, love, kids, health) in your life.
If you want both, decent career and family life, then its a tougher road to walk as a woman, especially after having the kid. Your career will 100% take a hit for a few years. Never leave your job though. You may see your peers getting promoted and all the external show off. You will feel bad. You'll need his support at all points. He will have to take a very firm stand against all (his parents, yours, society..) to make sure you continue your job. He should even be ready to take a career hit if required for you. The career hit you will be taking will end up giving you one of the most happiest moments in life when you see your kid growing up. Once your kid grows up and starts minding his own business you will have a career and family in the end.
Whatever be the case don't ever leave your job. Talk to him. Be very specific. Don't mince your words. All the best dear.
Thanks buddy ❤️❤️
Don't marry if you're on different terms regarding kids
Funny that someone who obviously doesn't care for her bf's opinion, parents' opinion or possibly would-be in-law's opinion (I'm sure they have an opinion on this), is pretending that random strangers' opinion here will be the decisive factor. Is this a masked survey for an assignment of yours or general time-pass? Btw very very lame subject line too.
Who said that it's gonna be a decisive factor?
It's a general conversation where you are open to put forward your view.
Let me answer in 2 parts:
Emotional: Let's say you 'compromise' on hey we won't have kids surely. Cool. Either ten years down the line when your life has become monotonous (believe me, it will after you've achieved all the milestones) a kid is the next BIG thing which will keep you on the better side of the emotional roller coaster. I too was hesitant about this. 1.5 years into this, I'm all geared up for the next phase
Practical: our age will not be the same. Our lifestyle will not be the same. Our jobs and finances will not be the same. When the spouse is gone, or when the job is done. You are outdated. You are tired or burnt out, coming back home to someone who isn't in the same phase of life, and looking forward to their next big thing is something of an investment.
If you truly do not want kids and the other does, let go. So t get into this. Because one of the two reasons above will catch up with him and your daily life becomes miserable, so will his. Resentment is worse than regret. Good luck.
Insightful ❤️
I’m 30 YO. My CCTC is 15 LPA I have my own home in a TI city. Hence I don’t have to pay any rent. I current SIP amount is 30,000 per month I started investing in 2021 and have been increasing my investment amount by 10% every year. I wi...
Dual Income and No Kids sounds very attractive but advice from people in their late 20s and 30s is probably too biased to be considered sound advice.
Wanted to understand how couples who took that decision in their 30s feel today.
...
I am a 37 year old female and my husband is 40. We were unable to have kids through normal ways and chose to not go f...
We were a DINK for a very long time and then had a baby. So far we have never regretted a single day after having the...
Great question. I am eagerly awaiting answers. I am still in my 20s and cannot comprehend DINK couples. Of ...
DINKs, (dual income no kids) have been gaining traction a lot lately. I want to know from the members of gravevine, what are their views on being a DINK couple or a DINKWAD( double income no kids with a dog). From financial prospects lik...
We are a DINK couple (live-in, will get married soon) and absolutely no plans to have kids. Maybe be a DINKWAD someda...
1) End of family bloodline. 2) It looks and feels cool in 30s but will have massive regrets in 40s and 50s. 3) have s...
We flipped. I’m 40 and my wife is 37 - we decided to have a baby this year. We are now pregnant with twins :) ...
Sharing the context for this question - Indian society does not accept (easily), and it may pressure families with only ONE SON (single child or one among sisters) , because he bears the onus of continuing the lineage.
Are there any co...