Hey @SmellluCat just wanted to jump in here because @Bhidus take really feels off to me. It’s got that old-school, "women should stay home" vibe, which is totally outdated. The idea that women can’t have both a career and a family life is just wrong. Lots of people—men and women—work and still manage to raise amazing families. It’s all about balance, support, and finding the right system that works for you and your partner.
Men need to step up too—raising kids isn’t just a “woman’s job.” If your boyfriend wants kids, he needs to be equally involved in the parenting process. You shouldn’t have to shoulder all the responsibility just because you’re a woman. Families today are about teamwork, not just one person carrying the load.
I get it—having a child is a big decision and it's super important to align on that with your partner. If your hesitation about having kids is purely career-focused, maybe you two could figure out a plan where your career isn’t put on pause while still making space for a family. It’s totally possible to have both, but it requires planning, communication, and a bit of compromise.
Also, don’t feel bad about any of this. These decisions should be logical and aligned with your priorities, and if that means letting go of a relationship because your life goals don’t match, then it’s better to know now. You’ve got to do what’s best for you, both in the short and long term. Trust me, it’ll be worth it in the end.