samosa
samosa
Stealth

Matrimony Apps Saga

from a guy's point of view:

  1. You will get rejected by girls you want and you will reject the girls who want you, it's an endless cycle.

  2. Caste/religion/job/location/money/face : everything matters.

  3. When you start talking to a girl, assume she is already talking to 5 guys at least, that's how it works.

  4. All the things you want in a person, will start vanishing with each person you talk to, so don't be rigid. You don't know what you want, it will keep changing.

  5. People are going to lie about their age/salary/past etc, do your due diligence properly. They are going to pretend to be someone they are not.

  6. Be ready for rejections and getting ghosted, hearing absurd rejection reasons.

  7. They like to keep their options open, you are not their first priority, sooner you find that out the better or you need to put efforts to become their first priority.

  8. Keep your expectations to a minimum, otherwise it will become the reason behind your frustrations.

  9. Don't be desperate. Keep your attention to a limit, if you gave too much, then you would come off as desperate and not likeable.

How to deal with it?

  1. It is what it is.
  2. If it didn't work, it wasn't meant to be.
  3. No effort is a sign of no interest, stay away from such people. They are putting effort for someone else.

If you have someone in your life, keep them close, put in efforts, don't come to matrimony apps.

4mo ago84K views
samosa
samosa
Stealth4mo

No matter what people say, your best chance to find someone is in your office, you just need to know how to approach it and manage it.

spreadshiter
spreadshiter
JP Morgan4mo

how to approach without coming out as a creep or POSH? what if she thinks school college is for studying and office is for work only?

IamBiztech
IamBiztech
Student4mo

May be those girls remember the line from school pledge - India is my country, all Indians are my brothers and sisters 🤔

FittingFire
FittingFire
Capgemini4mo

Having gone through the ordeal myself I would suggest to not rush into things. Every one gives a very rosy picture on their social media, and online profiles. Let it be a natural process and stay the f away from profiles who ask to move fast and get married within a few months. It is a possible red flag.

PinkHedge
PinkHedge
Stealth4mo

@FittingFire I agree with you. But other perspective can be taken. People who ask to move fast maybe are those who have already lost time. They might be the most reliable candidates (ie not wasting time and seeing the prospective candidates seriously). I believe we should know a person for minimum 6 months before thinking of marriage. I should be knowing what the guy does in his 24 hours to know his lifestyle, preferences, schedule. However, there is no guarantee on such wedding platforms that I am the only one who is “seeing” the other person. He might be having multiple prospective candidates. So at the start of the process itself, it feels weird.

PinkHedge
PinkHedge
Stealth4mo

@samosa very well put up!

Nomad22
Nomad22
Unemployed4mo

Very well put. Going through the same ordeal now. Just want to add this: folks will have some problem with almost everything. a) if you are earning big, lack of time for "other stuff in life" is an issue b) job location is an issue. If it's MUMBAI, they prefer Bangalore. if it's abroad, they prefer staying in India c) having some dependents is an issue. You can't have a sister (married / unmarried)

Girl's parents want a highly qualified, high-earning, good-looking guy with decent generational wealth. while the girl wants you to have a chill life, have loads of hobbies, "be friendly, have a good sense of humour, be jovial / not too serious, be okay with making 2-3 international trips a year". FML

Umadbro
Umadbro
Stealth4mo

This is pretty much gold digger territory. The sooner you identify it the better, given it will result in so much frustration.

TheLittleElf
TheLittleElf
HSBC4mo

Sharing a girls perspective - Tbh, it's quite similar for us women

  • Guys have absurd expectations
  • Will reject you for the most silliest reasons
  • Guys want to sleep with you and then ghost you or reject you (yes that happens through Matrimonial sites as well)
  • Are talking to multiple people, so it's like a lucky draw
  • With every guy, the bar keeps getting lower

The bigger problem is:

  • People lack clarity on what they really want or are seeking, they either don't know or fail to communicate what they want, or afraid to say the truth cos it takes courage to say 'no' backed by reason
  • People want the other person to take the effort, but are not willing to put an effort themselves. It's got to be 50:50
  • Have ridiculous expectations from the other person, and aren't willing to bend a little to accommodate
TheLittleElf
TheLittleElf
HSBC4mo

Lmao, too much sampling happening 😏

TheLittleElf
TheLittleElf
HSBC4mo

It's not a crime, but then be open about it (read communicate)

Anotherjsdev
Anotherjsdev
Accenture4mo

Fuck matrimonial sites me toh mummy papa ke bharose betha hu 😂

0case
0case
Startup4mo

Kya pta wo bhi tumhare bharose baithe ho, jaake puch lo ek baar. 😂

Anotherjsdev
Anotherjsdev
Accenture4mo

Na bhai apna sorted hai Mata pita hi layenge.

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