CosmicWalrus

Need help to navigate finance in marriage!

My wife and I both earn similar incomes, but she is a single child and feels a strong responsibility towards her mother’s future. She wants to save her income to buy a flat for her mother wherever we stay and expects me to cover all our shared expenses. I’m feeling overwhelmed with the idea of managing all the household costs alone. Is this a fair expectation, and how can we find a balanced approach that respects her commitment to her mother while also maintaining our/ my shared financial goals as it's gonna impact me?

This was not aligned before marriage

1mo ago

4.8Kviews

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JazzyPancake

Zeta1mo

She is your wife and I assume has been cooperating with your mother since your marriage. Now when her own mother needs her, it's your moral responsibility to support her. If she feels she needs to be there for her mother's safety, support her Also somethings are better not discussed before marriage

ZestyLlama

IBM1mo

Nonsense! Ask her to buy that flat right now and let her move in with her mother permanently!
She needs to be in the present first with you. You can visit the future once it arrives. There are many obedient daughters taking care of their parents without making a scapegoat of their husband.

TwirlyPotato

Accenture1mo

I ll tell you frankly , may be i am 3-4years younger to and don’t have experience on that stuff. bro in these inflated era , you ll feel burden of responsibilities for sure. You can manage all these things like your family’s expenses and kid’s education, your whole family health stuff as well . Atleast you need a 20lpa job . That job will suck your metal peace. you ll extend your hours find some other incomes as well to sustain because you will be needing a four wheeler and your own house … some stuffs. All these will happen when ll l get a 20lpa job . If you earn below that, thats good but for your self only. And as a guy and a living being, you also have some dreams right. why only you bear all these expenses?
I think you are bit confused but u have to get a way to confront your wife in a good manner.

QuirkySushi

LTIMindtree1mo

Better confront

GoofyBurrito

Stealth1mo

The fact that you have put this out here, you feel its unfair. So ultimately thats what matters. What people all around think does not matter at all.

I would say you share your thoughts about this with your wife. If you have not already. Its better to be up front than to take the pressure of carrying the entire weight of the family. There might be a solution or way to solve the financial aspect of things. So to sum it up- talk, discuss and problem solve.

MagicalCupcake

Deloitte1mo

since u both are earning same income. Buy a house on a 50 50 percent on your both name. Let her mom stay there. She is single child so it's not like her siblings her going to get that property. It's ultimately you both only. Also, men have been doing this forever. Buying land and house on joint family name. Buying property on father's name which ultimately gets divided equally among his siblings.
You both should sit down n identify how much money is required for purchasing n how u both will get it. She is earning equal to you so obviously she must have done some calculation. My brother n his wife have done the same.They have 2 property and they have give 1 property to my parents for staying so that they can be near by. They both are Sharing expenses for both our parents.

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