Hi everyone, I am a 24F. I have recently come out of a situationship, actually I was forced out of it because of his commitment issues. It feels horrible to force myself not to talk with him like we used to , though we are still in speaking terms.. Now I am in a constant dilemma whether to hope that he will commit or to move on. Because of this I lost interest in everything.. even eating twice a day is feeling like a lot of work..!
Any solid advice will be helpful, Thanks..
I’m going through the same. It’s best to look in the mirror and live for you. Sounds cliche, but you’re not deserving of anyone’s second guesses. I’m 25F, so I can tell you we girls have 5 years easily before parents start telling us we will be old hags if we don’t marry. Till then, just flirt around and don’t attach. God will have made someone for you with the same energies.
I am just out of a 3 year relationship and also failed at a situationship. The best thing you can do is to pick yourself up and not text the morons. Give yourself 21 days - they will come back for your body or the attention. Then take a wise call - don’t read your book backwards.
Lol. A girl is trying to pull other girl into same mess she is in. Kindly, think long term and not about short term pleasure/getting out of pain.
And you’re a pure fruit, writing all this?
A broken girl(from comments section) ie pushing another girl ( @DeluluGirl) to get more broken. When men are broken, other men try to help him, but many women are just jealous and want other women to fall down just the way they did.
@DeluluGirlif you really want peace then resolve the internal issues. If one has peace it is everywhere, with everyone. If one doesn't have it, it is with no one. So please look inside and work on that. We all know internally hookups, casual stuff IS WRONG AND BAD FOR OUR OWN SELF. It is destroying our mental health and expectations. That girl in comment section is suggesting to flirt around with guys and "enjoy it" before getting marriage day. If Flirting around and being casual with boys is called as enjoying in women's world. Then being unemployed and being lazy all day without taking any responsibilities would be called as enjoying in the men's world.
We know both of these things are wrong. None of this is RIGHT FOR US.
@DeluluGirl
I highly urge to focus on your mental health and look at long term happiness and peace rather than short term happiness. And please don't go along with what "people/girls who have already lost" are suggesting you to do.
There is no absolute right or wrong in such things buddy, it's all subjective and depends on what the person wants in the short, medium and long term.
Many people would want casual stuff or situationships compared to not having anything at all and being lonely. It's all relative.
Men and women need intimacy, period. Labels don't really matter as much as you think.
Been there. First of all virtual hugs... sucks to be in the situation.
Just tell the person you need a commitment by a specific date and to not call you, message you or have any contact whatsoever. Basically a break. Meanwhile, if possible, do a digital detox, leave all devices at home. If possible go for some retreat or a long hike. If this ain't doable, go visit a couple of your friends and make travel plans everyday for a couple days. Once back, start a new hobby to keep you occupied and help you meet people. All this while, have no communication with this person.
Once you feel ready and mentally prepared(you'll be better prepared after a break), either break up or get together depending on what you feel and what he thinks! Protip: don't keep your hopes high.
Just got off Instagram today and blocked this one guy I know isn’t worth my time
Best advice is - don’t be alone. Spend as much time as possible with your family, friends or anyone close. If staying away from family & friends - then walk upto strangers but don’t let all emotions and past cover your mind like jacket of clouds.
Time for solo trip .. travelling will help you seeing the broader perspective .It will also help you to connect with strangers ..Do give it a try
I've been in the same boat, friend. It's best for you to break it off and surround yourself with friends and family and to take care of yourself. You know you want commitment and he simply wasn't capable at this time. Please give the love you want to get from a partner to yourself. Self love will be the thing that keeps you from accepting bad treatment. Much love to you, never ruin your health over some guy
It was very tough when I was trying to cut him off too. But it ended up doing wonders for my mental and physical health. I legit have a glow to my skin after getting over my ex. In the end it's about what you care for and what you don't care for
Your peace is worth more than waiting for someone to figure out theirs
He definitely doesn't wants you, guys do this when they want to keep options open, move on soon from this and rightly as others are saying detach from him, feels easier in saying but might be difficult. change the boy when you cant change the boy
Dear @DeluluGirl , first thing first there is no dilemma except the one you’ve created in your mind. Whether he choose to commit 6 months from now or 6 years that is not worth of hope you should hang your life in balance. Guys are straight forward fellas they tell you exactly what they want but we tends to add stories to its background. Given that problem is you and not him. Now since you know now you’re the problem tell yourself whether you want to stick for years in hope that one day he will commit (and let me tell you this he will commit when it’s time but it’s not going to be you) OR build real relationships with real people. You are young don’t put on hold to your life for someone who is also trying go figure out life for themselves. P.S - please don’t tell him you want commitment, I believe you already did that and that’s why you are here. Trust me just move on.. and yes it is that simple, because you’ve stuck in your mind. don’t let someone else choose for you..
I am 31, unmarried. Working as software engineer.Had very very ugly breakup 5-6 years ago. Now recovered not entirely but good enough to mingle with people again.
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