GloomyTurn18

Strange work anxiety

Hi Guys, I'm an SDE and I have this weird problem where I stress too much when some work is given to me which I don't understand.

Basically I'm not scared of high workload, as long as I know how to do it. Because then I know IT WILL BE DONE, I just have to work to finish it.

But when I get stuck on a problem, I DONT KNOW IF IT WILL BE DONE, I just keep thinking about it even if I close my laptop. The more I think, the more scary the problem becomes and then I start thinking if it continues and I'm not able to deliver more work, I might get fired and then during background verification for the next company, they will see I was fired and then no one will hire me. Basically my thoughts spiral out of control and make my life miserable to the point where I don't feel hungry.

If I'm confident I'm very confident, I feel like i can do any problem but when I see myself failing multiple times, i lose my mental strength

I need help and I want to improve this nature, not get stressed when things go south. Do you guys feel the same or know how to handle it

Any books or words of wisdom or thought process that you follow which helps you deal with job related work stress will be extremely helpful.

13mo ago

Train

Dunzo13mo

It's natural for humans to feel anxious about uncertainty.

Spend 1 or 2 hours focussed completely on solving the problem. This involves thinking + searching online. This will avoid u overthinking later on since u've actually researched about it and the problem is more known to u now than before (even if it's not solved yet)
During ur free time if the problem comes to mind, consciously train ur mind to realise that thinking about it won't benefit u in any way. It takes alot of mental effort to do it for the first few times but it becomes much easier later on
Talk to ur family/roomates at home to get ur mind away from work

GloomyTurn18

Stealth13mo

Thanks man, I think the majority of problems happen when people ask for estimates, I'm like how the hell am I supposed to estimate ETA for something which I don't know. Then again my parents say that the lord doesn't give you anything you can't handle. I have heard it many times, its about time i start believing it

Train

Dunzo13mo

Yes that usually happens and is something that TPMs / EMs do these days. You basically need to give and ETA for an ETA in this case. Tell them that ull need to explore and that ull come up with a plan in say 2 or 3 days. Then ull get enough time to give a thoughtful ETA and also be less anxious in the process

AITookMyJob

Startup13mo

Happens to all of us. When you have low system context or haven't solved completely new complex problems, you will feel anxious.

Think about the system and the requirements upfront. Ask as many clarifications as needed to everyone involved.

Outline what you're going to do and get it validated. If possible, do a small POC to check feasibility.

These steps would help most of the time.

AITookMyJob

Startup13mo

No tips for anxiety though, I haven't solved that yet :/

baatli_wala

Amazon13mo

Yeh toh mere wala scene hai.

Inquisitive

State Street Corp.13mo

Try Naamjap or chanting some holy matra. That will relieve all your stress.

GloomyTurn18

Stealth13mo

I have been chanting lord shiva's mantra and I try to control my breathing. I realize that during anxiety the heartbeat skyrockets, reducing the heartbeat gives some relief at least.

lowrumble

Self Employed13mo

Anxiety is more common than we think. You’re not alone. There are few things about anxiety that if you learn once, will help regardless of what has triggered it.

First is: fear doesn’t mean danger. Even though it can feel so scary, a lot of times it’s just a feeling. There’s no big danger. So let yourself feel the fear without rationally believing it.
Anxiety is threat-perception turned on: once it’s triggered your brain is on threat finding mode. It will look for threats everywhere, it will not feel safe letting you relax because it’s convinced there might be danger. It’s trying to help you. Remember this next time and let this part of your brain alone. Don’t indulge it, the worst is when you become scared of anxiety itself. Then your brain sees being anxious as a threat so you stay stuck in threat finding mode.
Rumination doesn’t help: anxiety wants you to sit and think and think and think. Just so you can find some way out of your perceived danger. Often it makes things worse. The way to turn the threat-finding off is to move brains focus elsewhere. The more you focus on the threat, you will stay anxious. The more you act like everything is okay, and life is safe (chilling, enjoying, connecting, hobbies), the more threat perception will go down.
Understand triggers: having said all the above, there is probably some underlying reason certain events trigger anxiety. So do try to understand where that’s coming from and any unconscious deeper fears you may have. But learn how to do that little by little without ruminating.
All this helped me go from very high anxiety months to now no bother at all. Hope it helps in anyway! There are amazing accounts on insta that can teach more about anxiety.

GloomyTurn18

Stealth13mo

Thats a nice way to look at it, any specific insta page or YouTube channel that you recommend

lowrumble

Self Employed13mo

@anxiety_wellbeing and @anxietyjosh helped me

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