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Software Engineer

All that is fine... but how to marry for leads?

All that is fine... but how to marry for leads?- Grapevine

I am turning 25 next month and my family is after me for getting married. They are saying you need to start looking now so that you will find someone in 1.5-2.5yr till then you will be 27-28. But I am not sure whether I am ready or not I am working in an early stage startup so the job is also not stable. I also have goals to achieve before marriage like a foreign trip and buying a car at the same time what family is saying is making sense to me what should I do?

Need Advice! When to say yes for marriage?

What are the few questions we should ask during marriage meetups ?

Project Manager

Seeking advice from married individuals who have/ want children

I’m 26 right now. Should I start looking for partners now or wait till around 30 once I’m financially stronger. Currently 22lpa - Mumbai

Marriage age for men

Growth Manager

I know I'm not the only one having to go through this. Let's speak our heart out.

[Rant] Arranged marriage process

A couple of other posts are on what unmarried men / women look for in their potential spouses. 

Married folks, based on your experience, what advice would you give people as they are going through the journey of figuring out the right partner.

Married men / women, what’s your advice on this - what factors should one consider while evaluting a to-be spouse?

Nothing related to work , i want to know how much looks matter in arrange marriage like everything is fine but i am definitely not drew to the person How do i marry such person what if i do not like him ever Please i am not being a jerk I am just ......how do i put it Not into him .....he looks much older than i am my family is like how long will you wait according to them i am already at an ange where i even should have settled with everything which i agree like okay i am 28 but i feel if we are not getting to a kind of person we do not like it's better to not marry at all. I know a person's behaviour is all that matters no money no looks nothing matter it should be a good person i agree but what if i end up not like him ever , i am 28 but Marriage just scares me to the core and also what i am also being made to believe if i look for a average to a bit good looking person he will definitely cheat on me. genuine opinion welcomed please ignore rather than commenting bad.

Finding partner

Analyst 

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

I joined AmEx Gurgaon in 2015 in PoS Fraud Strategy as a Business Analyst. I was having a rough time at AmEx as I really wanted to pursue my passion of Mathematics in the US. I had secured an admit at Univeristy of Illinois - Urbana Champaign and UT-Austin in their MS programme and was totally checked out at work.

During my tenure at AmEx, I was mostly bored. Looking at internal tools and spreadsheets was the worst. This coupled with the fact that I was travelling to and fro between Noida and Gurgaon meant that I was commuting a solid 4 hours everyday.

In this time of mental agony, I met this charismatic young woman, she was an Analyst in the Credit Underwriting Team. I don't know what got into me and I asked her out to coffee. We went to the Starbucks in CyberHub the next morning and she was the most delightful personality ever. Sweet and elegant, she talked of her passion with vigour, from her ideals to writing poems. I left that conversation feeling uneasy though. 

She reminded me of what I wanted but also of what I was scared to lose in her. 

We continued to date for the next 6 months in a hush-hush manner to avoid any suspicion at AmEx. I had to start the process of getting my F1-visa for the US and when I told her about it she was extremely disheartened.

In my heart, I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my days with her and life without her was nothing but an empty void. She came with me to the US Consulate Office, and I don't know what got into me but I kissed her.

I knew that I wanted her more than anything else. 

Decided not to give the Visa Interview and applied to ISB with my GRE score. Got into it and ended up becoming a Management Consultant in MBB. 

We got married in 2019 and welcomed our daughter into this world in 2021. 

I wonder what life would've been living in the US. But whatever it would be, it couldn't be better than being in her arms when we come back from work. 

Have faith. Everything will turn out to be okay. Trust the process

When I chose Love over my Career: My Story

... And we will never hear a story a woman doing that much for a guy.

Software Test - QA

Arranged marriage only - coz uske baad jo pyaar hota hai, ufffffffff 🕊️

Arranged Marriage Only

Analyst

Hi I’m an above average looking and average height guy. I’ve been looking out for a serious relationship for years now and it really sucks. I mean career wise, I’m doing great. I’ve a stable career with a good car and my own house. Something that women consider for serious relationships turning into a marriage. 

I’m also very religious, super good at heart, loyal, caring basically too good to be true. I’m so loyal that I stop looking at other women even at talking stage. Send flowers randomly etc etc. 

Now the problem is, apparently if you don’t play mind and manipulation games, or basically be toxic, you won’t get a good partner. 

Every woman out there says she’s looking for 90s love and nice guys who care for her etc etc. Then why are people like me single? Not only me i know many men who are good at heart being played by such women. Why are you lying girls?

Why dating sucks these days? (also a Rant)

from a guy's point of view:

1. You will get rejected by girls you want and you will reject the girls who want you, it's an endless cycle. 

2. Caste/religion/job/location/money/face : everything matters.

3. When you start talking to a girl, assume she is already talking to 5 guys at least, that's how it works.

4. All the things you want in a person, will start vanishing with each person you talk to, so don't be rigid. You don't know what you want, it will keep changing.

5. People are going to lie about their age/salary/past etc, do your due diligence properly. They are going to pretend to be someone they are not.

6. Be ready for rejections and getting ghosted, hearing absurd rejection reasons.

7. They like to keep their options open, you are not their first priority, sooner you find that out the better or you need to put efforts to become their first priority. 

8. Keep your expectations to a minimum, otherwise it will become the reason behind your frustrations.

9. Don't be desperate. Keep your attention to a limit, if you gave too much, then you would come off as desperate and not likeable.

How to deal with it?
1. It is what it is.
2. If it didn't work, it wasn't meant to be.
3. No effort is a sign of no interest, stay away from such people. They are putting effort for someone else.

If you have someone in your life, keep them close, put in efforts, don't come to matrimony apps.

Matrimony Apps Saga

Having gone through the ordeal myself I would suggest to not rush into things. Every one gives a very rosy picture on their social media, and online profiles. Let it be a natural process and stay the f away from profiles who ask to move fast and get married within a few months. It is a possible red flag.

Senior Software Engineer

I have a 3yr long relationship which started off as a fling but later we both got attached to each other. We don’t know if this is love but we know that we will not be able to make it to marriage due to multiple reasons. Because of this relationship/situationship I’m not able to proceed for arrange marriage also. I’m 30, and want to have a family. I have a very good prospect of arrange marriage but I’m unable to convince myself to take the leap of faith. It feels like I’m drained out and don’t want to invest in another relationship. What should i do ?

What do i do ?

Product Manager

I am a 27M and earn 7 LPA from a mechanical engineering background, which I know is very low compared to today's standards. Software and MBA guys are earning significantly more. In today’s world, money is important if you want to travel or live comfortably. By switching companies or pursuing an executive MBA, I believe I can reach a decent level in the future. 

One thing I’ve observed is that in dating, girls don't seem to care much about how much you earn. But when it comes to marriage, the financial aspect becomes more important. Which isn’t wrong at all. Of course, I’m not generalizing, and I know there are women who don’t prioritize money. Also, it’s true that ambitious people often look for equally ambitious partners. 

What are your views on this? I’d especially like to know from girls.

Do women want a husband who earns less than them?

Mechanical Engineer

At what age you guys are thinking for marriage, I'm 27, relative says I passed the age😂

If you wanna go for arrange marriage, get married now, or atleast start looking. It's disgusting but the arranged marriage scene works like a market, and the value tends to drop the closer you're to 30. Options decrease as age goes up. 
  
 If you wanna go for love marriage, find someone you love and chill.

Data engineer

Alright everybody, let's have fun, choose your warrior 🤵🏻

She hasn’t seen the CTC Megathreads in grapevine yet. All these guys will get dumped.

Founder

I'm seeking advice on how to handle a sensitive situation that's been affecting my well-being. As a young woman in my 30s, I'm still unmarried and  my younger cousins or relatives have all gotten married. While I'm genuinely happy for them, I sometimes feel pressure and low self-esteem when people ask me when I'll be getting married or imply that something is wrong with me for not being married yet. It's not like i don't want to however in a vunurable situation when it comes to emotional connection stuff.I am a bigtime dog lover and I am happy being with my dog and parents too.

As someone who values my family's opinions and approval, it's hard for me to ignore these comments and not take them personally. How can I deal with these kinds of situations in a healthy way and maintain my self-confidence despite societal expectations?"

Let's see if sharing can help 😇😊

Consultant

Need help. How do you not let yourself be affected by your parents' worry about marriage? My parents can't find a suitable match in our caste. They aren't internet savvy, and English isn't their language, so they pester me daily about not looking for matches.
Filtering by caste and my city on Shaadi.com or JS gives only 80-100 profiles, most with requirements I don't meet. This affects me, and I end up shouting at my parents. It's not my fault they can't find someone, or that I seek a progressive family and partner. You can't choose your parents, but you can choose your partner. Why should I settle where I don't feel like myself? I'm losing it.

How to manage parent's pressure about marriage

Product Head

“You should get married on time”

To the married folks, would it be different if you would have married later in life? From a personal or objective POV, what’s your take

32+ M here and not yet married.

“SHAADI waqt se ho jaana chahiye”

Got married at  26.  If i get  a time machine, will do it by 24.    There is a quote by ashneer, where he says, 30's are the most important time is building one's career and setting the foundation to make money. Distractions from family life/kids will kill both the careers and family. I think he made perfect sense.  

I think the older one gets, its difficult to have compatibility.  Too many external stimulus corrupts our view of the society. And more over everything has a purpose and we all come with a shelf life.  If chances of starting a family  is slim or nil, whats the point in getting married? one is better of single.

Grapeviners, can you, with all honesty convince a non-believer like me into getting married and having children. If you do, my parents will send a million blessings your way. 

About me: 
- Female, 28
- mostly introverted, very selectively extroverted
- single and normally attractive
- Jinxed when it comes to relationships
- Financially independent, Net worth: 1 cr
- not bragging, but I'm decently intellectual and I can have smart conversations

My reason to resist marriage is: I'm scared it won't work out and will cause bigger problems than being single. Have seen too many unhappy marriages in family and friends. Dating scenes in recent times have only made things even more unimpressive.

Convince me to get married

After a few failed relationships, I had an arranged marriage (at that time, it was just to fulfill what my parents wanted). She was a very conventional girl,, never had any relationship before. I was scared going into the marriage too. 
  
 5 years later, she is the best thing that has happened to me. She helped me explore things I never would have. She gave my life a different perspective. 
  
 I'm not saying just because it happened to me, it could happen to you too. I'm saying unless you take the leap you'll never know what you're missing out on.

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