Art of letting go!

I thought I was pretty HEADSTRONG until I had to let something go!

Here’s what I have been feeling nowadays, I suffer alone every night, smile during the day & tell friends only half and parents nothing so they don't worry about them. I finally end up becoming a big ball of bottled up emotions. I was trying to talk to my colleagues about this and no one seems to care. All they care about is their own life and that is fair. Is life all about suffering and pain?

So I might get some hate for this. I know this is weakness and the feedback I've gotten is toughen up. But I've never known how. Is there anyone else whose body and mind had accepted that they're not going to amount to anything but fought their way through it? Can you tell me your story? Or give me any book suggestions?

Le them be For the ones you cant control Let them be For you are your own destiny Let them be For you are enough for yourself Let them be For the god will take care Let them be For the smile you heart everyday

“When you’re young, you believe that there will be many people with whom you’ll connect with deeply. Later in life, you come to realize that it only happens a few times. A few moments, frozen in genuine beauty, where you look at someone and you know, from a place deep within yourself, that they are going to mean something to you, that they are rare. When it comes to this kind of connection, it’s important to understand that energy cannot be created or destroyed — that is a scientific fact. If the depth is there, it cannot be denied, cannot slip through your fingers, cannot be something you successfully run away from due to fear of exposure or battle wounds. You can try to dismiss it, can try to stay protected and hidden from the warmth, but your hiding spot is never watertight — it always catches up to you. And if it’s not meant to fit within the soul of you, if it’s simply not your love to hold, no amount of bargaining with your heart will anchor it. That is the beauty of discovering the things that stay, the things that fall into place. In a world of billions, in a world where we are all seeking connection but avoiding eye contact, there are remarkable points of impact where you manage to crash yourself into someone who ends up breaking through the exterior. Someone who makes contact with your heart, who grows roots within it. Together, you beat the odds. If you have found human beings like this, I hope you protect them. I hope you risk your heart for what you feel. I hope you believe that you are worthy of something full, and pointed and real. I hope you never settle for less, because certain people are truly just rare, beautiful drops of borrowed light that find their way to you. You don't feel alien with them. The otherness never arrives. There isn't a version of yourself you have to shed in order to feel connected to them. They see you clearly. You are held there. (Continued...)

The obsession I regret the most in my life is the all or nothing behavior. Where, - I'll apply for a job only after knowing everything there is to know for a role. This is why I used to see people with half my knowledge applying and getting jobs and moving ahead in life. I used think it's so unfair that they achieve in all aspects of their life and I in none... - I'll date someone only when I know I am the perfect version that I envision for myself - I'll only take photos when I am in my perfect shape. If I don't have 8 abs, I don't deserve photos! - I'll stop questioning whether I am good enough only when I achieve everything else I am a loser I just was very cruel to myself for my own imperfections! This instilled a fear in me that shattered my spirit, self confidence and self worth. I ended up being afraid to pick anything up. If I couldn't stay course in something and for some reason I wasn't able to do something for a day or 2, my perfectionism mindset said, that's it, I am a failure and I thought, nothing can be done now and gave up This resulted in I procrastinating in things. Why to work hard, I am never gonna make it... I have 100 things to do in life else I am failure but I don't have time to do all that in this lifetime. Perfectionism results in not doing anything! After meeting people, self introspection and podcasts from people, I realised its okay to mess up, its okay to fall down. I should dust myself off and continue! It is so hard now to change yourself after years of disappointment. You need so much positivity and letting go of perfectionism. You need self love and kindness... TLDR - Don't be like an OCD person obsessing over things to go exactly the way they want! Don't reject yourself due to failures/setbacks. Dust yourself off and move ahead! It's okay to be imperfect as long as you promise to be consistent!

We evolved to live in small tribes and now live outside of our natural habitat, in an advanced civilization. One effect of this mismatch is that there are a bunch of things that feel dangerous to us that aren't actually dangerous, leading us to be way too risk averse. Like: - Asking someone out on a date - Trying something new even though you'll suck at it at first - Quitting your job to start a company or try a career in the arts - Putting your real voice out there on controversial topics For primates living in a small tribe, rejection, embarrassment, failure, and criticism posed actual material dangers. These things are not dangerous today, but our software hasn't been updated. So we miss out on living our best life, hiding in the 1-4 zone of the danger scale. In a world of overly risk averse people, the epiphany that the 4-7 zone is actually a safe place to play is a superpower.

Out on a walk and the weather is all grey, Saw a Gulmohar Tree blooming with beautiful red flowers. Chose to sit down on a bench in the garden, While sipping some Rasna, saw some kids hurling stones towards a Mango Tree. They were hoping to get some Mangoes, still green and waiting to ripen but that wouldn’t stop them. And I wondered, our old social circle has now dispersed, some went abroad to study and others work in different cities. Some friends even live in the same city and you meet them for drinks or food sometimes. But we seldom do anything outside of Food, Drinks and Music. Can’t think of anything outside of these three things that you and your friends do. Maybe, I’ll take some initiative and explore more group sports. Because, I don’t want my weekends to be the same bar with the same food and the same music on loop for the rest of my youth. What about you all? What do you guys do on the weekend outside of this?

The past year has been the best! I'm engaged to my long-term partner, making the first person I loved, my last. I'm working in my dream company and dream role I've finally moved out and have a healthy distance from my controlling family I wish I could say all of the above but you know what they say "You plan. God laughs' My life has become a joke. After years and years of nurturing my relationship and working on myself, I've achieved nothing personally or professionally. Being an overthinker, I'd detail everything from plan 'A' to plan 'Z' to ensure my dreams come true. I had an extraordinarily amazing relationship but when it came down to marriage he didn't have time to even think about it. I have a brilliant resume filled with distinction grades, extracurriculars, and leadership roles, and yet I couldn't score an interview let alone be shortlisted for any role I wanted. With no choice, I'm stuck in a job that I absolutely hate and have no interest in! And finally, after 26 years of living with my family and growing up to be a responsible adult and doing everything and more, they ask me, they still think the worst of me, call me names, hardly acknowledge my presence, and make me feel guilty for barely living my life. I'm honestly so emotionally drained and feel like my whole life has been a struggle, hoping for things to get better someday. But all I feel is stuck. Everyone around me is moving on with their lives - getting married, moving to a new city/country, getting roles in dream companies and I'm nowhere close to anything I want. Being a practical and logical person I would usually not take advice from random strangers on the internet but I'm keeping an open mind and I'd love to hear your thoughts on my depressing life! 💔 People below 25 yrs don't bother commenting, unless you want to start a crowd fund for my therapy. P.S. The last para is a joke. Don't come at me about it in the comment section. I do need therapy though, but can't afford it. Not from an experienced psychologist at least.