Obviously education. Education can change someone's life trajectory

Thanks to guidance for a better path , I will try to provide education for their better future.

Sales Development Representative

Software Developer

What would be better for her long term? Answer based on logics, not emotions/pressure of society/sister

Like for long term education is important, But I am earning money from this year and not have enough money and surrounding pressure also. I will try to provide education to my sister. Thanks for suggestion.

Analytics Manager

Give her education after getting job do marriage with her own money

Sometimes I am getting confused if she getting job then where to find groom for her. 
 Thanks for suggestion 👍

Hello everyone,I am constantly thinking about my situation and getting confused. I have 3 sisters and 1 brother (including myself). I currently have a job in sales, earning 40k, and my father also ...

Hello everyone,I am constantly thinking about my situation and getting confused. I have 3 sisters and 1 brother (including myself). I currently have a job in sales, earning 40k, and my father also works, earning 25k. We belong to a rural area. In our community, it’s common for everyone to get married at the age of 25. I am 25, and my sister is 23. Our relatives are pressuring us to arrange my sister's marriage, but I want her to continue her studies and pursue a good career before getting married.My sister wants to take admission in an MCA program this year, which might delay her marriage by around 5 years. I’m struggling with the decision of whether to prioritize her education or go along with the pressure to arrange her marriage. This decision is heavily dependent on me.Please help me decide between my sister's education or her marriage.

"Balancing Tradition and Progress: Deciding Between My Sister's Education and Marriage"

"Balancing Tradition and Progress: Deciding Between My Sister's Education and Marriage"- Grapevine

I am turning 25 next month and my family is after me for getting married. They are saying you need to start looking now so that you will find someone in 1.5-2.5yr till then you will be 27-28. But I am not sure whether I am ready or not I am working in an early stage startup so the job is also not stable. I also have goals to achieve before marriage like a foreign trip and buying a car at the same time what family is saying is making sense to me what should I do?

Need Advice! When to say yes for marriage?

Software Engineer

Welcome to Software Engineers's Private Community

So my sibling is about to graduate with a degree in Computer Science from a T2 college in a few months and wants to now do MS in the US because of three reasons: 

1. Low levels of violence against women(Sexual Assault) [IMPORTANT!!]
2. Want to do innovative work in the US instead of working on copycat products in India
3. Ambition of living in the US long term because of free-er culture

But my parents have flat out refused to fund the education or even help her with a loan due to regressive mentality (nahi jaana baahar, 2-3 saal kaam karo aur shaadi karo chup chaap)

She has accepted a job offer for now and will make 14L/year. What are her options? Should she drop the idea of MS abroad?

What to do if your parents refused to fund your education(MS/MBA) abroad?

Two options -  
  
 1. As I read, she will making 14L, save aggressively and self fund herself to MS. Places like UoCincinati or Texas univs aren’t that costly. She might able to score a diversity scholarship/waiver as well. 
  
 2. Start looking for Germany based unis. They have minimal uni fee, she just need to maintain the living expenses.  
  
 My 2 cents - Working for 2-3 years before MS will bring more clarity and increase the RoI of investments.

Product Manager

Hi guys
I am facing some issues with my family members, they are constantly trying to convince me to get married with someone, although my mom is supportive but my dad is not, I am fighting with them almost everyday, i somehow left my job life been on bench since long periods, not able to Focus properly on my health, not able to sleep properly at night time, got infections in my body, I am feeling shattered don't know what should I do

I'm 26F working in an IT service based company, I need your suggestions guys

Thank you

Negative Energy at home

Systems Engineer

Hello Grapeviners

So I guess I hit the mid-life career crisis and finally resigned from Microsoft abruptly yesterday. 

Reasons for resignation:
1. I am saturated with my work and feel out of fuel now.
2. No Pay Raise or Stocks since 2 years.
3. No Promo in last 2 years even after being a top performer and winning multiple awards and accolades.
4. Was promised by my manager that I will be promoted in Feb but now he/she quotes budget.

What my manager says:
1. You have a valid L1B, don't resign.
2. Says you will get the promo in September but now it is not possible.

Please Note: I resigned abruptly without any offers in hand. I guess managers think that folks who have L1B won't resign so their promo can be delayed.

Just wanted to share with the the community. Thanks 🙏

Resigned from Microsoft

Half of me wanna yell at you for being stupid, but other half tells me you know better about appreciation and promo thing within org. If you don’t regret it, it’s good then!

Security Analyst

Hey All, 

I'm 26-M earning a descent salary(approx 40k per month). My family doesn't have any property/gold and we live in a rented house. 
90% of my earnings goes to expenditure. And rest 10% goes to some or the other expenditures (like medicine, repairs, travelling etc). At the end of the month my bank account has around 1-2k.

I have no savings, no sip, no shares, no crypto nor additional source of income. 
I'm only running my entire house. 

My parents want me to get married. My parents both have diabetes and my father is 60yrs old.
He wants me to get married as soon as possible so that he can have a cool head. 

The thing is, for marriage also there's no money saved, I have to take some loan (approx 2-3Lakhs) for the marriage. 

Especially in my community, girls are very few in numbers and they have lot of expectations like own house, more than 15LPA, rental income etc etc. 

I only expect one thing from the girl i.e she should be having a minimum degree and should be working. 

But most of the girl's parents are rejecting because of my financial condition. 

I'm in a dilemma whether to stop looking for marriages atleast for 2-3 years(so that atleast my salary would be increased by that time frame). But at the same time I'm feeling scared like once I cross 28 age it would be very difficult to find a match as at that time also I may not own a house.

Any guidance would be helpful😀

Advice

Your parents are growing old and you want to spend time with them (they are already retired). At the same time you want to move abroad and get a master's degree, make a career out of nothing. Make money, find love probably. 
How do you decide what to choose?

How to decide

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

Will this happen in India too? Are you folks still planning to have kids?

This is a very interesting topic. I wonder what the impact will be on so many things. 
- People get married later, have kids much much later 
- Effectively you're getting fewer of your "fitter" years with your kid (although lifetime is elongated too) 
- We've added at least 5 years of working as a single guy/gal to our lifetimes. 

Question to the broader community: I don't see most people between 25 to 30 being super happy. Most people actually seem misguided (me/my friends - in some ways). Is this pattern actually harmful for us?

Analyst

25M. My parents keep on asking to get marry Because I am earning.. But the thing is I am not prepared for this, need to achieve my goals, not sure I will be reaching my goals after marriage. more over there are some trust issues on arranged marriages. Also I do get this on my mind some times, does marriage is mandatory, can't we live without marriage, I feel this when I see married people pretends  that they are happy outside but they are not inside, reasons might differ, lack of understanding, compromises, adjustments, Financial instability . I am in full of confused state. I already rejected few matches because of this mixed feelings and also to achieve my goals.

Marriage in Early Stage Matters ?

Welcome to News Discussion's Private Community

So basically I'm a middle class boy with 1 sister, but currently I'm getting 20k per month and my gf mom asking min 50k and own house to marry her and she not accepting marriage with her mom permission, i ask her mom for time to get 50k and own house but she not accepting my love. I'm a UI/UX Designer due yo this Situation and her mom requeiment but I lost the for here. What I need to do?

Confusion about life

UX/UI Designer

Hello Viners,

I graduated in 2019,(27 male) most of my life I have worked from home.
I am an introvert,Recently I got a new job offer and I am finally moving to Bangalore.

My mom is asking me to get married.
The main concern of my mom : As I get older, getting good rishta is difficult.

My situation:

As of now I don't have any loans to pay.

Throughout my life,I have spent a significant amount of my money to take care of my older brother's education and family responsibilities.

Now,my dad says I am still young to get married.

I am torn between my mom and dad.Of course,at the end of the day it will be my decision I won't make decisions due to my mom's pressure.

But I have seen my colleagues in 29-30s struggling to get married.is it same across whole india?

Just wanted to ask fellow viners,when did you think you were ready to get married?

Confused about getting married.

Machine Learning Engineer

My parents have started talking about my marriage and I am only 23 rn. 

They are pressurising to get married by the time I’m 25. I feel like I’m a kid even today

I haven’t even travelled yet 🥲, If my +1 comes I’d have to take her to travel and the cost of travel would double

When did you feel you were ready to get married ?

Ideal age to get Married

I have a cousin who is the sole child of her parents.

Our families have been very close to each other and we are like siblings.

However, from the last 4 years, she has been in and out of her relationship with the same guy.
He cheated on her in the past and still she plans to marry him and waits for him cos evidently he is preparing for upsc (never qualified prelims, and is on his last attempt).

Even though I don't consider interfering in her personal matters, she has not been focussing on her own career prospects.

Also her parents are now senior citizens and they want her to get settled and they were also willing to meet the guy if he had any source of income.

They are highly anxious and hence our families got involved.

I tried reasoning with her that she should focus on advancing her career more (her annual income is < 5L) and think about the repercussions of marrying late (both are in early 30s). 
Her parents have been open minded about the type of partner she wants but it feels like she has been brainwashed to an extent that she tries to belittle her own parents if they try to reason with her.

I want to know that as an elder sibling and as part of the family if I can do anything else to avoid any worst possible outcomes which might be bad for her future.

Convince my cousin against destroying their future

29 M, IT professional in Bangalore earning around 65k/month. 
My parents are looking for girl(non-working) for my marriage later this year.(already knows girls family).
But I am worried about all the expenses post-marriage as Bangalore is already a costly city and I will only be sole-earner.

Need your honest advices here on how to manage expenses or look for a working partner.

Need advice/suggestion

Data engineer

Hi everyone, just wanted to ask something idk if you get it or not but things are hard on me lately ...i am an it professional with good 2.5 yoe but I feel like i belong in management side of world not here and for that i want to pursue MBA and that's my interest i want to make career switch but lately at my home my marriage discussion has began...i am going to be 26 in july and everyone think i am already little late (yes, that's the reality According to them) i told them about my aspirations they said do it after the wedding...and i am hell confused what should i do because I don't want to be in it (less salary and hectic work in which i have no interest) ...and idk what kinda person i am gonna meet in wedding setup ...even i will be able to pursue it or not ....tell me how you deal with it...any suggestions will be helpful.

Career or marriage

System Engineer

Anybody here who's in their late 20's and family is pressuring them to get married but you're not mentally ready for the responsibility because maybe first you want to achieve something or be in a better place mentally or financially.

For Indian families marriage is just a checkpoint on their long list of responsibilities like science in school, btech in college, gov vs pvt job and stuff. 

I guess marriage is much more than just a wedding. If you're not mentally ready to have a partner reasons could be multiple like maybe you want to achieve something before tying knot or maybe you want to be at a better place mentally or monetary.

Honestly i dont know how to frame this question 
I just need to know the perspectives of married as well unmarried people or maybe any advice. 

I'm 27 btw 🫂

Thoughts on marriage

Welcome to Confessions's Private Community

I am 24F and I have exhausted all my reasons to postpone marriage. Due to failed past relationships I don't know what to look for in the next guy. Basically I pulled every type I wanted and failed epicly. I am not ready to get married at all. Tomorrow the groom's family is visiting my home and I have no idea what to do.But if I say I like him the marriage will happen in 3 months. Any advice on this.

Thoughts on immediate arrange mrg when you are not ready

Consultant

- Let’s create a safe space
- Mention *minimal* information such as you age, gender, etc to add context about you
- Trolls be empathetic and think before you comment to someone.

"Balancing Tradition and Progress: Deciding Between My Sister's Education and Marriage"

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