Software Developer

As long as it's not affecting being kind to yourself

Welcome to Mental Well-being's Private Community

Be kind to others

Software Test- QA

Be kind to others- Grapevine

What is one of basic things you realised too late?

People don't talk to you when you are alone, they only talk to you when they are alone.

Consultant

Founder

Dating has become the norm for relationships today, but many don't realize that it's a relatively recent development, prevalent in Western society for only about a century, and it's already causing societal issues.

Previously, Indian arranged marriages were standard (different from forced marriages). Families would arrange meetings between their daughters and another family's sons. If they liked each other, they would soon plan the wedding, marry, have sex, and start families.

Today, individuals are left to find their own partners. If you don't find someone in high school, university, or work, your chances of finding a partner diminish. There's also less incentive for marriage, as sex no longer requires marriage or even dating, leading to more people pursuing sex directly. This has created a skewed dynamic where fewer men pursue women due to competition, turning to porn instead, while women face exploitation by men who have abundant choices.

Ultimately, near 28-30 both genders rush to the arranged marriage system to get them a partner while having their feet dipped on dating apps.

In the US,
This has lead to decreased marriage rates and, consequently, lower birth rates since most births occur within marriages. A decline in families results in a decreased population, putting more pressure on younger generations to support an aging population. Western nations, therefore, rely heavily on immigration, causing additional challenges. Increased single motherhood also correlates with higher crime rates, drug use, loneliness, mental health issues, and suicides

P.S. I'm young and dating too. Just thoughts for a conversation on what the implications of dating for us as a society could be.

Dating has failed Americans, now it will fail Indians too

Your description of arranged marriages is incorrect. You are given the option that if they liked each other get got married - which was not the case in the last generation. Often times the meetings was just formality, and my own mother met father on the day of their engagement. So nope, they didn’t have the choice to see if they liked each other, their parents made that decision for them. 
  
 Now take that into today’s scenario, how many people in this generation will willingly marry someone their parents has chosen, without any say in it? None. Doesn’t matter what their income is. You yourself are dating.. why? You can ask your parents to find someone for you, if you believe their judgment. The issue is that we don’t, and people avoid admitting that cos they don’t wanna be seen as someone who disagrees with their parents. 
  
 People are free to do what they like, arrange, love, dating, single, unmarried, adoption with marriage. Literally their choice. Nothing is ruining anything, in fact the recent situation in our country, where there are no laws upheld for rich, unemployed where 40% IITians aren’t placed, religious division - are more of a concern than a person’s personal choice. My 2 cents 🙌🏻

Senior Designer

Product Manager

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

Ok now, good tips on how to stop procrastination and actually get stuff done?

There's no 1 answer to it. It cannot be solved in an instant. I attend therapy to deal with issues in my life. I find Procrastination a single most disastrous thing in my life.  
    When discussed, I was told that focus on self Discipline. Here are things i was told - 
 1. Try to make a timetable which has all the indulgences you do(netflix etc) and also the work you wanna do, experiment with time tables to understand what works. 
 2. Try to get to root of the problem when you procrastinate. Find out why you are doing it. I do it knowingly as in, I am consciously aware of it. I am now in pursuit of finding why I do it when I do it and sticking to a plan I make. 
 3. I have made a note of how harmful Procrastination has been in my life, how it has affected so many aspects of my life 
 4. Procrastination is a way of dealing with your emotions so that you get the immediate dopamine hit instead of a reward far later in your life. So, I am told that it's like having a relationship with yourself. You reason with yourself and understand why you are procrastinating, what emotions are you feeling that is making you procrastinate and how do you solve for it! Remember, being hard on yourself is just gonna make matters worse! Always do truth seeking for these things, be kind to yourself. Little by little you should be able to navigate.  
  
 Unfortunately without knowing what kind of Procrastination you have, it's not advisable to take up my points. I suggest consult with a therapist and talk it out and solve for it!

Welcome to News Discussion's Private Community

This is truly truly heartbreaking to hear.

McKinsey consultant commits suicide due to work pressure :(

The fact that Mck tried to cover up its name in investigation is sad

Corporate Strategist

It's been some time since I received some kindness from people. The last time I heard some kind words or got a kind gesture was very long ago. Today, whoever I interact with behaves absurdly without any compassion. The shopkeepers won't talk politely if asked about a product, the house owners will talk rudely and make random rules any day, people won't smile on the metro, in restaurants they will shout on the waiters and the list goes on. I am not even bringing up autowalas and taxiwalas. What does it take to show some compassion? How much does it take to compromise a little bit so that other person feels good about this world? Why does everyone want to just rip other off? 😞

What happened to the world?

I have shifted from banglore to my hometown in rajasthan and its lovely here. Greet everyone with ram ram /radhe radhe and people smile back greet back, its superb. I was missing this element in banglore

Software Engineer

Share your list. But Only unmarried women

We did a men survey with huge response rate
: https://grapevine.in/post/808462ef-8ae0-4269-aaa3-c683ba1194bb

Women your turn, what is that you seek in your to-be spouse?

I was in depression a few years ago due to unexpected events in my personal life ( I don't want to give too many details, but it is related to family. Nothing happened to me) I have fortunately come out of it, but I still take medication because I don't want to relapse. Not being condescending but I have a good profile, I have studied in top tier institutions (iisc) earning well (30lpa), not beautiful but I know how to groom myself. Every guy I meet be it through friends or parents is initially very interested in me, then I tell them about my diagnosis. They straight up ghost me. Most don't even ask questions to know more. 
 TLDR someone with an open mind and doesn't have a prejudice against mental illnesses.

Data scientist

A few colleagues of mine who got promoted in the mid year cycle had ordered a few snacks yesterday. But I didn't go there due to the fact that I wasn't promoted in this cycle.

I know that this attitude of mine is going to hurt me but I don't know how to handle this.

Any suggestions because frankly speaking this feeling is killing me from inside and I can't stop thinking about this even after my office is over.

Jealousy is killing me

Research Specialist

Welcome to Personal Finance's Private Community

Hello folks. While I'd like to remain anonymous very much, here's what I can share about myself.

1. Working in consumer finance.
2. Love personal finance and helping people out with it.
3. Have published 10,000+ pieces of financial content in the mainstream media.
4. Wrote a best-selling book on money management. It was No. 1 on Amazon once upon a time. 
5. Lately been appearing on TV regularly for personal finance discussions.
6. Saved like crazy through my 20s and 30s, brought two apartments; have an 8-figure net worth mostly thanks to my mutual fund investments. It's not much but it's hard-earned.
7. My unrealised aspiration is travel and I'm working on it now.

No, I'm not selling anything. No commissions, no referral links, no finfluencing. 

Just want to talk, exchange ideas, and learn from you all. Maybe I'll feature you in my next book. :)

Ask me anything.

Let's talk money habits.

Most corporate jobs tend to make you less of a human being.
The pressure and competition make you shout at your subordinates, backstab your colleagues, and play politics.
No matter what comes your way, don't give in to pressure.
being a good human being is not a barrier to success, it's actually a key component of sustainable, meaningful success. When we prioritize empathy, kindness, and integrity, we build strong relationships, foster a positive work culture, and create a legacy that truly matters.

Don't stop being a good human being; your progress won't be affected. Success that makes everyone hate you will be of little value.
After all, success at the cost of relationships and respect is a hollow victory."

Keep shining, you are making it easier for others to find their way.

Strive to remain a good human being.

Customer Service

Gen Z and Millennials are too harsh on themselves nowadays. Like literally trying to get 0 figure and following keto n protein diet after getting motivation from some reels of so called fitness influencers!

Covid vaccine impact is still under scan and people are doing so without any supervision.

Few days back I replied to a Q on gv, X was asking like should I cut my calories from 2500 to 600 just to reduce weight.

Please be mindful of what u do to ur body and mind.

Om shanti to the departed soul.

Read about the tragic incident of an 18-year-old gymmer who died during a lecture at a tutorial in Indore. Get all the details here.

Heartbreaking News: 18-Year-Old Gymmer Passes Away During Indore Tutorial | Indore News - Times of India

Be Mindful of Gym & Diet.

Senior Consultant

Sometimes it just feels like being an ass when you prioritize yourself over others and in order to get rid of that guilt you deliberately recall those incidents when you were nice to others and how they shattered your heart and walked over the broken pieces as if it meant nothing.

Why does self-love feel guilty at times?

Data engineer

Welcome to Indian Startups's Private Community

It takes nothing to be kind

I work in a startup, have been since the past 4 years. Earlier it was WFH, I had the liberty to work whenever I want - task had to be done. 

With experience, I've felt that my work life balance has gone for a toss. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong, I feel exhaused and burnt out. This is also sucking out ownership from what I do. 

To all the GVs out here, have you guys tried doing something that's helped you? Or are we all on the same boat here? Are folks in MNCs going through the same? Genuinely seeking for help here. 

I just feel ki, I should stop running behind money now. Take a pay cut if needed and join a company thats a bit more established. 

Ps: In my case working from office seems like a total waste of time. I had been so much more productive at home. 

Thanks!

Work life balance - Tips

Data analyst

Check what my friend sent me on Instagram. 😂

Have you ever seen an "Intern Rocks, Boss shocked" moment at work?

Not sure how many anime fans are here, but I was recently watching this new anime called “Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead”, which basically shows how a corporate employee is so fed up with his messed up job, that the first thought he has, when zombie apocalypse hits is, “I don’t have to go to work anymore!”, and he’s out to do things that he always wanted to.

Anyways, in the new episode, its shown how a toxic leader/boss/senior behaves. And man, was that so accurate!! 

It shows how these leaders make you work like hell, belittle you, and misbehave with you. Even if you think of leaving the job, they make you believe how hard it is to survive without your current job, and how the work you’re doing is nothing, and that you can be easily replaced. 

And in the end, after fucking up your mental peace, they will come and show a little bit of sympathy, telling they how they just push you for your own sake. Acting like some wise old “mentor you never had”.

And you know, what the worst part is, since all your colleagues are living in the same environment, since everyday you go through the same toxicity over n over, it becomes normal for u. Your brain adjusts, and it seems to think that this is how the world is. 

Moreover, if you are a fresher, and you don’t have any prior experience of work culture, you seem to believe thats how work life is, and will always be. 

I’m ranting this out, since i wasted around 1-1.5 years of my life in such startup, and it wasn’t just the time that was wasted, it also took my passion, my energy, my motivation and my goal with it. 

To all the folks who might be in a similar situation, I just want to say, I know it’s hard and I know you probably can’t leave due to some financial situations or other issues. But BELIEVE ME when i say that nothing in this entire world comes above your mental health. Save that first folks. Be selfish, saving others can wait!

Traits of a toxic workplace

Symptoms of being ‘too nice’ to people at work:
- Overuse of gratitude words like Thank you, please, could you, kindly, etc on all forms of communication at work.
- Registering your reactions like thumbs up & clap to literally every chat message in slack/teams/discord channels at work.
- Praise excessively on meetings like retrospectives, etc.
- Replying ‘thank you’ to every individual person who wished you or congratulated you for some occasion, especially in WhatsApp groups.

Have you ever introspected why you are ‘too nice’ to people instead of just being ‘nice’ to people?

Are you too nice to people at work?

Yes. 
 It's a behavior that was very encouraged when I was a junior - managers and founders loved that somebody was nice, would follow their word, and deliver 
  
 As I have grown in the last couple of years within companies, it's becoming a curse. Getting work out of people requires you to sometimes break that habit. I've also been given feedback that I don't speak up when I'm supposed to. 
  
 Nice to the point where you're doing disservice to your work is not nice 
  
 In case anybody went through this, it would be really helpful to hear how you broke it

Be kind to others

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