Change a thought

I did not grow up in a lot of money. I ordered looking at the prices on the menu. This feeling has stayed with me and has fueled me to thrive, push harder, work long hours and get to my goals. I'm 5 years into my career, and last year I had a feeling of "making it". I had enough to not look at the menu, or even the place I'd be going to. This feeling is really really satisfying and I took some time to sit with it, enjoy and bask in this glory (humbly). But I also feel my drive to hustle and do better has gone down. For instance, I'm okay pushing work to tomorrow, I'm not as keen to pickup work. I feel some of graveviners could relate to 'making enough' story. Have you also feel a lack of hustle to keep you going? What do you think is the reason? For experienced folks, I'm really keen to know how to get past this slump.

My overall education started a bit late than normal people due to my fathers transfers and school admission rules. Consequently when I applied for JEE Advanced back in 2017 i was 19.5 years old. I got it but wasnt satisfied so dropped a year and got a better rank. I was 20.5 years old when I finally joined IIT. Somewhere subconciously throughout my college life i felt that I did achieve what I wanted to but really late. I know theres nothing I could do about it but this was something still killing me inside. Most of my batchmates where 18 year olds and even the ones who dropped where at most 19. I always wanted to pursue my masters and phd but somewhere at the back of my mind I feel I would have to go theough the same feelings again. It just kills me so much inside. Currently I have completed 2 years as a software engineer and I am 26 years old. On one part my mind tells me that I am made for much more than just an IT job and should go to academia. On the other hand it feels like I am too old for it. I dont know what to do. I am not able to rationalize my thoughts. I am not able to understand how can I bring myself to overcome my fears and achieve what i really want in life.

howdy!! Folks I need your inputs please. I am a single parent to two kids and have a full time job which is basically the only financial source and now WFH is ending and my problem is: 1. With the role n responsibilities i am fully booked for office work and not able to take care of the kids or house like i want to 2. Even if i hire someone like nanny i still thinking of their safety and activities they r doing bcoz i want to engage them is teaching or making them learn spend time with them as they grow be there for them ( bcoz i know how lonely it is to have working parents) so i don’t want them left with nanny bcoz i believe money can be made again but their childhood will not return 3. Even if i get a WFH role, my time, energy and thinking capabilities will be taken up by the job only again leaving me less energetic, time to care for my kids 4 Everyone is against me leaving the job bcoz that’s the only financial source I have but i want to shift my stream maybe join as a school admin or start a food business that i can handle without much of mental stress but the pay will be way less So I am looking for something which gives me the time and mental peace to spend and raise my kids with a decent money to meet the needs. What can i do??? please tell me any other way out or a guaranteed income source along with being with my kids

I think I'm losing my mind. I'm a 32-year-old guy in tech, graduated from IIIT Delhi, earning 78L annually, but I feel like I'm fooling everyone, including myself. It's as if I'm constantly waiting for someone to burst into the office and shout, "Hey, fraud! We've finally figured out you're actually useless!" I know it sounds like I'm humble-bragging, but trust me, I'm not. This feeling is eating me alive. Seven years ago, I started as a regular software engineer. Somehow, I kept getting promoted. Now I'm leading a team of 15 people, handling critical projects, and sitting in meetings with the higher-ups. But every time I'm in those meetings, I feel like a kid wearing his dad's oversized suit, pretending to be an adult. I work my ass off - late nights, weekends, you name it. But I always feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water. When my team comes to me with problems, I'm secretly panicking, thinking, "Why are you asking me? I'm as clueless as you!" The worst part? Everyone around me seems to think I'm some kind of wunderkind. My boss is always praising me in front of others. My team looks up to me. Even my parents are bragging about me to all our relatives. But inside, I'm constantly terrified that I'll make one tiny mistake and everyone will realize I'm a fraud. I see my college batchmates on LinkedIn, and they all seem so confident and successful. Meanwhile, I'm here, earning more than I ever thought I would, but feeling like I don't deserve any of it. I can't even enjoy my success. I bought a nice house last year, but instead of feeling proud, I keep thinking, "What if they fire me tomorrow? How will I pay for this?" It's like I'm waiting for everything to come crashing down. I know it's ridiculous to complain about a high-paying job when so many people are struggling. But this constant fear of being "found out" is driving me insane. I can't even talk to my friends about it because they'll probably think I'm just showing off. Has anyone else felt like this? How do you deal with feeling like a fraud when everyone thinks you're successful? Is this just part of adult life that no one talks about? This is what eats me alive during weekends, realised it's Friday and panic typed this here

Getting fantasy thoughts all the time pls help

Being anonymous gives me a safe space. But life is getting tougher than ever each day. I wish I had a better paying job. I wish I had time to have slow mornings. I wish I could provide for my family and give them the things they much deserve. I wish I had a chance to rewire rewind and restart. I wish I could do more than I wish to do. It's all wishes guys . It's all hopes. . Nothing seems fulfilling. Nothing seems to make me happy. I have forgotten what carefree days were like. Adulting is kinda hitting hard. I am not able to cope up. Can someone relate?

I woke up with a notification that started with “Hope you had a great weekend. Unfortunately…” I didn’t have the courage to open the entire mail. I knew what it was. A little context here, i have been unemployed for the last 5 months. I got laid off from my first job with not even an year of work experience. We all know how bad the market condition is, and how harsh it is for freshers. Me being the optimistic person that i am, ignored all these setbacks and began my hunt for my next dream job. With the help of my friends, I started preparing for interviews. I was lucky enough to get shortlisted for few good companies. But somehow or the other things always went south and i ended up without an offer. I made sure to not get disheartened and keep trying my best with a positive attitude. And then i interviewed with this one company, that perfectly aligned with me. All my interviews went well and made it till the final round. Now it was a call from the leadership. I strongly believed that this is my shot. After months of feeling stuck, I thought this is going to be my moment of relief. Even though this journey was hard i made sure to enjoy every bit of it. But now here i am with another rejection mail. I am now questioning my entire belief system. And not sure what to do next. Any advice/suggestions are welcome :)

Hey Folks, I’m in a phase where I have decided to move out from my present company. My present company is very dear to me as it gave me the taste of what success looks like. Honestly, I would have never made it had I not received the support and backing that I got here. I don’t know if I am making the correct decision. Emotions are literally overflowing. One side of mine tells me that I am making the wrong decision whereas the other side is excited to see what future holds for me. Literally anxious of all the thoughts that are crossing my mind. What if , I am not able to perform at my next company ? What if , they decide to hire me and then not honour their offer letter ? What if, the company has a mass layoff and I am impacted ? All these thoughts are literally eating me from inside. Any suggestions on how can I handle the same ?

My current salary is 42LPA. I am from IIT, have 7 years of experience and work in product. Honestly, my value in the market is higher than what I’m being paid but I am very demotivated to optimise for that. When I do see less deserving people minting more money, I feel that I am doing injustice to myself and playing the wrong hand. More and more though, the thought of earning more money chokes me a bit. I have dreams of building something of my own - that gives me control to build something my way and freedom to live my life as per my terms. But the mindset of “zyada paisa pareshaani hai” doesn’t leave me. My family also is not dependent on me and whatever is needed from my side, I actively contribute to. I also lack any motivation to focus on my investments and see my money grow. I just have money sitting around in my bank account purely for nothing I also look at my lifestyle choices from time to time and go into existential debate of why we need the things that we do. This has come to a point where I really do not understand my relationship with money and why we earn and spend it. For me at this point, it’s just a show for the world. There’s very little that you need, and really no limit to what you want to show. And I just don’t see a point in it anymore.

I wont judge.