First rule of work: Don't value your work so much that it becomes your world. 
  
 Think about why it matters so much to you. If you don't have a reason worth all this emotional turmoil then stop caring about it so deeply. 
  
 This will fix the root cause. Everything else can fix the symptoms.

Software Developer

Just got some flak at work. It sucks. The world doesn't make sense. How do you deal with it?

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

Dealing with criticism at work.

Business Analyst

Dealing with criticism at work.- Grapevine

Welcome to Confessions's Private Community

Lately it's been really hard trying to cope up with derogatory comments and people trying to pull you down.

I build/refactored some of our codebase and things go south in terms of performance at few places. 
I realised the mistake and fixed the performance bottlenecks that happened because of me in least time possible. 

But people still look down on me on and manager keeps passing hurtful comments about the incident every now and then.

Moreover there's worse happening fellow people start blaming you for the performance of code you haven't even touched. You are just utilizing some function in your codebase written by some other person.

I don't know how to handle all this and what should I do to avoid this? 
Mistakes happen, bugs go on prod, things can break but as far as once everything stabilise, we should move on.

How do you guys deal with Office politics.

Software Engineer

Welcome to Software Engineers's Private Community

They have no life
They have nowhere to go
They have no one to be with
They have no passions outside work either

And they make your life hell as they become the baseline for comparison for all sorts of management from appraisal to work distribution.

Feel free to disagree with me, but I’m genuinely pissed today. How do you deal with them? I have a decent life outside work but lose most of it while trying to catchup to such people so that I don’t get fired.

Sorry for the title.

How the F do I deal with overworkers?

I'm also like this brother. But why I work like this? 
 I come from a small village in India . Haven't got proper education or exposure. Not born with silver spoon and this is the only way to feed our family. We too have emotions like you, but sacrificing everything for our future and family. I strongly disagree with @Elon_Musk. Usually, only people who don't work hard do like that.

Product Designer

Want to get some perspective here because I think it’d be valuable to hear about other people’s experiences.
This job at Google has completely destroyed my confidence and I feel so paranoid about shipping anything now.
I have made some mistakes but I have always caught them in staging or working drafts.

Here is what my manager has said to me:
- I lack attention to detail.
- I do not have drive.
- I do not have any ambition.

And the reason I have been told this is because:
I messed up a flow that the Lead PM had come up with in the first place. Then the Lead PM flips back on me and says that it would be "an embarrassment" to ship this.

I find myself immersed in a constant cycle of spending hours each day reviewing work, gripped by the fear of facing criticism or even the prospect of being fired. Despite investing significant time and effort, it seems that the only feedback I receive is overwhelmingly negative. It has reached a point where I question myself and wonder if I should have not been here at all. This toxic work environment is undeniably draining, and I'm left grappling with insane anxiety. Has anyone else faced this?

Am I bad at My Job Or Do I Just Work With Unstable Coworkers?

Product Manager

Welcome to Indian Startups's Private Community

I'm feeling really stuck and frustrated at work lately. Despite putting in my best efforts and consistently performing well, it seems like my manager is feeling threatened by my progress. He’s been rejecting my ideas and work without even reviewing them, and calling me out in meetings for not completing non-priority tasks. The environment has become really toxic and it's taking a toll on me. Has anyone experienced something similar? How did you handle it? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Feeling frustrated at work

Is it just me or design culture in India is just becoming worse?

Saw a lead designer come in for work. Sit down for 5 minutes and make crass jokes and then leave. What even man. I am super disappointed. All the best people I have worked with have either left or are about to leave. All the women in office become uncomfortable with these jokes and it is visible on their faces. 

They then take credit for our work and speak really well to the senior management about "HE" has done. 

I transitioned to design to learn and grow in my career but this is the least ambitious field I have seen in my career.

What do you think?

Design in India is toxic 💩

How do I deal with a teammate who treats every feedback as criticism and the goes on to defend his actions to the point that it’s impossible to have a civil discussion. 
Any pointers will help as I have tried almost everything I can think of. Talked to manager and manager doesn’t want to say anything coz he is one of the best in our team🤷

Teammate problem

It has been 25 days since I got laid off from the startup that I was working for. I have given a few interviews. Got rejected in 1st or 2nd rounds in a few, went till the last round n rejected in a couple and haven't heard back from the HR in a few. Not hearing back, unanswered calls, delays in rounds etc. cause a lot of anxiety and impacts my confidence and preparation levels. How do I tackle it? 
Also, unable to find fresh openings in product/ strategy roles for past few days. This also adds to pressure and uncertainty.

In short, it is a very troubling phase. How do I deal with it? Need enormous help from all of you folks. Would love to hear some great thoughts / insights / hacks too.

Laid off and preparing for interviews

Welcome to Get Motivated's Private Community

My manager in the appraisal said that he has established a view that I am not serious about my job and though he hears everyone give me praise. He just can’t shake his view and it is established now.

A) Why will you say something like this?
B) Is there any point of staying at such organizations where basically you have to continue to fight to show your ability?

Making sense of these words

My seniors from different departments gave me feedback on one of my reports I presented, not constructive feedback but ok as I at least  got to know what I am doing wrong. But the very next day they are also shaming and belittling on the same mistake. This is something that they do often. I like the work here but not the people anymore. How to best handle this situation?

Should I stay at this workplace?

Human Resources

I think we all face this, how do you deal with relatives who always try to put you down in every possible way, constantly compare salary, foreign tour, abroad jobs, new car, new home, education institute, vacations , like they are the people who feel happy by making someone hurt or feel bad about themselves. I can't have a comeback because my parents just tell me to bear them for the time being. But sometimes it just piles up and I feel like thrashing them like hulk.

Someone please help me with this. Help me to deal with this, hulk toh ban nahi paunga.

How to deal with taunts of relatives?

How to handle a negative gossip that goes around in the office about you? Is there a way to deal with this in a way that doesn't affect you?

Please suggest the ways that worked for you

How to handle a negative gossip about you?

Analyst

As the title suggests, does it make sense to talk about a colleagues’s inability to deliver to my manager. The colleague’s incompetence to take ownership is very evident now to everyone and the manager is not taking any steps on it. Others have to basically cleanup and babysit him. Worse part, this colleague gets paid the highest in the team. At this point it’s just breeding resentment across the team. How to handle this situation? Any tips. Early stage startup, the manager is part of the founding team.

Should you confront your manager about a colleague’s incompetence?

Do not get involved. Try to minimise your own additional work due to that colleague. In one-to-one meeting with manager, let the manager know. Use the words: I just wanted to bring your attention to one more matter. Then describe the challenges that you face. Not your team. Do not gang up, do not conspire or collaborate. Do not mention about how other colleagues feel the same way. If your manager takes a negative opinion of these activity, you'll be fucked, because such a thing would create a negative impression. If the manager is not inclined to go by your judgement of your colleague's competence, you'll lose face. But it's much easier to control the narrative and restore your manager's confidence in you in a one-on-one conversation, than when it's a group mutiny. No matter what others tell you, do not get encouraged. People often sound like they're with you, but they often are not. They won't back their statements, and you'll be alone holding the bag. And moreover, if you stay out of it, you'll be able to carry the high ground of being above the fray, out of politics, and being balanced. Don't do netagiri of this sort. Conserve it for initiatives for which getting consensus is harder. It might be possible that you're the only one feeling so strongly about it. Then you may be in need of a weekend, or someone to vent to, or even therapy. But get your hate in check.

Generalist

There's this coworker who comes off as extremely aggressive during discussions and individual interactions. This is causing a shift in entire team's environment in the wrong direction. Personally this is causing me to avoid getting into discussions with them. I'm looking for ways to deal with this person and keep the work environment peaceful.

Here are some of the observations about their behaviour:

1. Highly opinionated and treat others who have a different opinion as hostile. 

2. When someone else is trying to explain something which needs to be explained serially A -> B -> C, and they are interested in C, they get restless and start badgerring with questions about C while the other person is still on A.

3. In discussions, which require a deep understanding of the product, which they do not have yet, instead of admitting that they have doubts and asking questions, they try to act as if they understood it when clearly they didn't because their senior was present. For instance, they paid attention in the beginning and then got busy on their phone during the meeting and when asked if they understood, they just told the agenda of the meeting instead of what was discussed.

4. This is what tipped me off the edge. During a meeting which didn't involve their senior, they got easily frustrated when others were giving an opinion different from theirs and pointing out the issues with their opinion. After a couple of minutes, it turned into a heated argument and they started raising their voice and started making illogical sarcastic remarks. And after a bit of that they changed their tone into rude frustrated disinterest and rudely remarked "do whatever you want to do".

So far we have tried to use humor to deescalate the situation. But this is clearly not gonna work in the long run, and their behaviour is getting worse day by day. 

I am trying to avoid a confrontation with them because it is not my place and I don't want it to get ugly.

Need advice on how to deal with an aggresive coworker

Welcome to Product Managers's Private Community

I'm working as an APM at a startup for about a year now. I work with another guy who happens to be my senior, PM and both of us report to the director.

Of late, my senior, i.e., the PM has been undermining my work when the two of us are working together, subtly taunting me that what I've done is pretty easy and non impactful business wise. He also disregards the decisions made by me, modifies the PRDs discovered and written by me and mails them as his own.

Eventually, he ends up adding me to the walkthrough calls because I had discovered the features but then concludes everything such that he had owned everything end to end.

Recently, both of us were given a documentation to be done by our manager, i.e., the director. I had completed almost 70% of that document, but in our call with the director he presented it saying that he had written that document and I had made a few changes to it.

This undermines my work and visibility of my capabilities. I don't know how to tackle this situation, my manager is usually busy and leaves it upto this PM to allocate work, which he unfairly uses.

How do I talk to my manager about this. I'm fairly new to corporate, just graduated last year and don't know how to handle all this.

But this thing has been bothering me lately, really looking forward to any advise my fellow grapeviners may have.

Senior taking credit for my work

You definitely need to talk to the director and share your concerns . Possibly separate out projects and independently handle them.

Startups and business are hard and sometimes I have to resolve some very emotional drama/ meetings. 
Esp. When a female colleague involved. 

They start crying and it becomes very complex. 
Sometimes they are correct, sometimes they are overreacting but in all scenarios I feel I am not able to handle such super emotional conversations at work. 

Many a times the emotion is also not related to work but their normal life and i feel extremely incapacitated to even say anything. 

Wwyd?

How to control heavy emotional conversations

I’ve been insufferable at work since 2-3 months now. Total time at my company- 6mo 21 days. Profile - Product Management 
My engineering team seems to be taking no ownership and always have their brahmastra ready that it didn’t come from product’s side. QA again is so great that I have to sit and thoroughly test each release end to end. 
My manager- he’s quite interested in taking my career fwd as a project manager. (I am not) He’s a total asshole and is quite concerned with start dates and end dates of tasks ( mind you, I am not the one actually writing the code but somehow the dates are my responsibility). He totally micromanages and somehow keeps blaming me for each small thing.
Examples:
- My engg team isn’t taking ownership: “you aren’t keeping them motivated enough”
- This isn’t a last minute change : “Do you attend standups? You aren’t communicating well”
- The QA tested and approved it, hence we released it. : “But did you test it? “
- Here are the release notes. : “This looks too jazzy, did you copy from GPT”
- Here are the release notes. : “This looks too basic, did you not copy from GPT”

I could go on forever. 

Gust: I am quite unhappy and is causing me unnecessary stress everyday. Also I don’t feel there’s a solution possible

Should I rage quit?

I am in a frustrating situation - wherein one of my colleagues who is just one year senior to me on my team is a bully and often mistreats people on the team. Being a new member on the team I am often the one who gets laughed upon or made a fool out of. It almost feels like I am in college and getting ragged.

How to deal with an office bully?

Welcome to Business Roles's Private Community

Take criticism or “feedback” for what it is: a gift given to you to make you better at what you do. Don't concern yourself with the person or the method of delivery. Instead, glean out the teachable nuggets and move on.—Michelle Bruno, President of Bruno Group Signature Events

Take criticism

Finance Operations

Welcome to IT Company Discussion's Private Community

I want to share my experience as a fresher at Accenture, my first company from a college placement. The first six months were fine, but then I faced severe mental harassment from my supervisor and manager. She constantly criticized my work and gave negative feedback, causing me immense stress. I often skipped meals and worked weekends to improve, but nothing helped.

Despite reporting the issue and requesting a supervisor change or a different track, my requests were ignored. The harassment worsened, affecting my physical health, and I couldn't eat or sleep properly. My manager controlled trivial aspects like where to sit and whom to talk to, making the situation unbearable. I was even forced to switch from a developer role to a tester, despite being trained as a developer.

The final straw was being placed on a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP) without a clear reason, with the same harassing individuals assessing me. I only had 1.9 years of experience then. I reported the mental harassment to HR and resigned due to deteriorating health, panic attacks, and weight loss. Despite having no other job offer, I couldn't continue. Even during my notice period, I was forced to complete PIP assignments, which led to suicidal thoughts and further health issues.

Now, I am jobless, feeling helpless and frustrated. With less than 2 of experience, I struggle to find offers in a down IT market and don't know what to do next.

My Experience as Fresher with Workplace Harassment and Forced Resignation at Accenture

Put the same on LinkedIn and tag the bloody manager.

Team Lead

Is it worth resigning without having a job? I am very frustrated with the amount of toxicity I am going through from the last few months, My teammate is trying their level best to frustrate me and doing politics. What should I do suggest?

Dealing with criticism at work.

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