Framework: How to not feel lonely in a new city!
Acknowledge Your Feelings: Accept that you are lonely or have a monotonous life and you need to make the change.
Don't hide behind "I'm an introvert", no you are just lazy and you are ok with living the shitty life, you just want spoon feeding, nothing else. Be Open to New Experiences. It's all about initiatives, you have to take risks and put yourself in uncomfortable situations.
Do following at least once per week: Have lunch/dinner/ outside your house. Watch a movie in the theatre instead on your laptop. Work from a cafe. Talk to a stranger. Play a sport/game, you don't have to be good at it. Many people just play for fun.
Find events:Just google "events near me" or "events in bangalore" etc. Give priority to physical in person experiences instead of digital ones.
Explore your surroundings, go for a walk in the morning or evening, take out time, talk to your neighbours. Reach Out to Colleagues or Alumni, we all have active fiends, get in touch with them.
Take Classes or Workshops, even if you are not interested.
Don't hesitate to spend money on experience, see money as investments, not expenses.
Don't self reject: means don't think about what would happen and just at home, anyway you aren't doing anything.
People took initiatives to start groups & clubs, either start one for your area of interest, or join one. Practice Self-Care and Stay in Touch with Loved Ones: you know what that means.
All this would impact your personal & professional life as well. You will stop blaming your job/manager/colleagues and accept that you were the problem, it's your choice to change your life.
If you don't do any of this and still cry about your life, hope you know that "nobody cares about your shitty life, nobody is going to come save you, you are on your own and survival of the fittest". If you don't put in the effort, you deserve whatever shitty place you are at.
It might not be as easy, but don't let yourself take advantage of you.
+1 Amazing write up @samosa I am guilty of a lot of things you wrote about, and do realize that it's my doing more than it is the city to blame.
Will do better 💪🏻
I was in a similar situation, it's more like a message to myself
Indicating you aren't there now? What all activities did you do and where are you now?
Loneliness in the sense what other people feel today is what nerds felt maybe 20 years back. Where you didn’t have people around you to share those interests. Turns out they didn’t need actual human contact and just grew and built internet as their fiefdom. (Then others came on that and ruined it). Now they can find people they can interact with, and others complain about loneliness. And make it a social stigma if you are not interacting with people.
The activities OP described are to get some excitement/adventure in your life and hope others would be there for that too. In a sense it’s a boredom problem. “I don’t have a group/company i can do fun things with”. With this reframing, see the problem for what it is.
People would always complain - that’s the easiest attention seeking behavior. It’s exacerbated by seeing others having fun in groups. Mimetic desire etc. A simpler thing would be to recognize you are addicted to the internet. Take time off. Have that curiosity and deep interest in topics that when you talk to people it is not superficial.
