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Friendships after an age

You Are The Average Of The Five People You Spend The Most Time With or There's also the "show me your friends and I'll show you your future" derivative. And I don't have friends who share my vision in life. They are great friends, no doubt. Female friends have married, left work or working in one company for stability. Male friends are working but not ambitious on money (nothing wrong, it is just how I view it) I'm not unhappy, but I would appreciate being surrounded by people who have the zeal to make life bet.ter

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Bangalore on

by MT_Ego

Amazon

Connected by Lonely in Bangalore (viral online post)

I saw a friend tweet about how Bangalore is full of connected but lonely people jumping in to join every Meetup/WhatsApp group that becomes available. This is my problem with the meetup / conference culture. Meetup culture is all about optionality. You think you'll meet someone new who's cool. Someone who can help you build your network. You would rather join a meetup with 100 other strangers than build stronger connections with your friends. In life there are only a few people who really matter. People who you can call at 11 PM to rant about your workday. People who you know will be genuinely happy about your promotion. People you share screenshots from work with. It is not probably the 100 strangers in that Whatsapp group that you think of when you are having a health issue and want to share your fears. It also means lowering your ego, which I'm happy to do with my old friends. I'm always happy to ping them when I get the chance, and I'm the one asking them to call me. I'm the one who asks them to hang out with me. I used to think, "Why bother?" but then I realised that it doesn't matter who reaches out first. It is not about keeping a count. I realised it's for me! If I have a chat with a friend of mine who I have known for over 10 years, my mood improves immediately. Everyone is very busy. Everyone is stressed with their jobs and their personal lives. Some of them are married now. Some have children. But that's where you've got to work to keep connecting with the people who matter to you. Friendship is also about being vulnerable. True friendship is built on vulnerability. Being able to share your dreams, your failures and your demons with each other. While the meetup culture is all about bumping into people for 5 minutes to judge their worth and whether they are worth your time, my preference is for long 1-1s. Either on the phone or face to face. I am happy to meet just one person over the weekend and have hours of conversation about work, life or wha

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Adulting on

by FunkySaint

Stealth

Advice on meeting new people at 35+

Hey Folks. Here for some advice… Context: I’m 37. MBA+Engg Grad working. Big Blr Startup. Good Role in Biz. Married (Started dating 12 years back & then got married). I’m an extrovert/fairly social (Mostly hang out/around other people/friends around a similar life stage - age/work). Most of my friends from School, Engg & B-School are all over the place (we meet once in a year types), no one in Bangalore. Hanging around with people at work is not something I like to do more than once in a month. My wife, on the other hand, has a good set of friends, with whom I hang out quite regularly (guys & girls). For a while now, I’ve been thinking of investing some time into making friends/building relationships outside of my social circle (Not that I’m looking to cheat on my wife, but then sometimes it’s good to hang out with people who aren’t your partner’s friends or are already part of your existing work/social circle). In short - I’d like to meet unconnected new people. And I’m realizing that at my age, it’s not so easy to do so without seeming creepy. About a year back, I met an ex-colleague (28F) over drinks (She was in town and asked if we could meet) - Super attractive and smart. It has 12+ years since I’ve randomly met anyone from the opposite sex alone for a meal/conversation (outside of a work meeting). At first, it was super awkward - uncomfortable pauses, loss of words, asking dumb questions, etc. Luckily, in a bit, alcohol kicked in and then it got much better… We still text & meet if we’re in each other’s cities with some time to spare. That’s when it hit me that I was good at making small talk, but have no idea what to talk about when it’s someone who’s some 10+ years younger. Seems like another generation (which it probably is)… While I felt so, I must also admit, I had a great time to be honest - the conversations were energizing/different and to be honest, a tad exciting too. 1/2