Let's do this zindagi!

The past year has been the best! I'm engaged to my long-term partner, making the first person I loved, my last. I'm working in my dream company and dream role I've finally moved out and have a healthy distance from my controlling family I wish I could say all of the above but you know what they say "You plan. God laughs' My life has become a joke. After years and years of nurturing my relationship and working on myself, I've achieved nothing personally or professionally. Being an overthinker, I'd detail everything from plan 'A' to plan 'Z' to ensure my dreams come true. I had an extraordinarily amazing relationship but when it came down to marriage he didn't have time to even think about it. I have a brilliant resume filled with distinction grades, extracurriculars, and leadership roles, and yet I couldn't score an interview let alone be shortlisted for any role I wanted. With no choice, I'm stuck in a job that I absolutely hate and have no interest in! And finally, after 26 years of living with my family and growing up to be a responsible adult and doing everything and more, they ask me, they still think the worst of me, call me names, hardly acknowledge my presence, and make me feel guilty for barely living my life. I'm honestly so emotionally drained and feel like my whole life has been a struggle, hoping for things to get better someday. But all I feel is stuck. Everyone around me is moving on with their lives - getting married, moving to a new city/country, getting roles in dream companies and I'm nowhere close to anything I want. Being a practical and logical person I would usually not take advice from random strangers on the internet but I'm keeping an open mind and I'd love to hear your thoughts on my depressing life! 💔 People below 25 yrs don't bother commenting, unless you want to start a crowd fund for my therapy. P.S. The last para is a joke. Don't come at me about it in the comment section. I do need therapy though, but can't afford it. Not from an experienced psychologist at least.

This question is to people who are in their late 20s or older. Life shows its ups and downs to pretty much everyone. And when you are younger, living with adverse situations that impact your mental peace and health, paving your way becomes difficult. All this can lead to uncertainty about future, can make you doubt yourself and your decisions, or can make you think whether you would be able to make something of yourself or not. If you ever felt like this, how did you handle it? What would you tell your younger self about how to navigate through these situations and feelings?

In 2018, I was doing my BBA from Delhi University, when the cultural fest of our college invited ‘The Local Train’ band for a live show. Of course, they performed Choo lo, Aoge Tum Kabhi, Dil Mere, Bandey, which had all my heart (in 2018 and today). But I chose not to attend the fest. As a 20-yr old, I never reflected why I would have done that...But as a 26-yr-old, I did it today. For a long time, Aalas ka pedh had remained my favorite archive of emotions, feelings of coming of age & loneliness when I had not yet stepped out of the borders of my ‘home’, semblance of how a breakup feels like when I didn’t know what a relationship stands for (let alone being in one), longing for love when I couldn't distinguish it from the romantic movies of SRK. And yet, I chose not to attend the fest. It was a conscious choice. It didn't bother me. “I was not into live music or experiences”. Why? I was not sure about my reasoning then, but now I think it was because I didn't value the very feelings I got from listening to those songs - emotions, coming of age, loneliness, breakup, relationship or love, all of the feelings I got from listening to those songs. My mind was flooded with the thoughts of achieving “objective” metrics - marks, ranks, admission in xyz college, because they were right there, easy to understand and calculate; the input was the attention and hours I put and output were grades. To my mind, that seemed “easier to achieve” than going through the process of defining and valuing those emotions. 4 years after this event, I would have just started my 2nd job, when I heard that the Local Train had unofficially disbanded when the lead singer, Raman Negi, left the band for a solo career. I didn’t feel it that much - because the “objective” bug hadn’t left me, and the value I placed to those emotions - coming of age, loneliness, breakup, relationship or love - still couldn’t be “calculated”. 2 years later, today, I realized 2 things. 1. I will never be able to hear The Local Train “live”. I lost the multiple chances I had. It hits me every time I hear the album again. To “objectify” it, I exhausted my attempts (like in UPSC) and clearly failed. 2. In the past, I have mis-forced “trade-offs”. The decision to not attend had no positive implication on my “success”, but negative implication on who I am today. Those moments and experiences are the attempts to make memories that will form a major part of the brain, when you grow old, shape who you are. While you are doing trade-offs, you value the non-objective things by the number of attempts you have to make. It isn’t that difficult to count the attempts, just uncomfortable. If I had that effort of valuing those experiences and emotions “objectively” better and not forced the trade-offs, I could have been a different person today. 1. Attended those live concerts with my friends 2. Got the chance of dating my crush in MBA 3. Worked with a co-founder closely who I looked up to as a operator 4. Would have watched one of my favorite stand-up comics perform live 5. Many more… Hence, my request to young folks in their 20s to incorporate this method of valuing non-objective things and avoiding forced trade-offs.

I think I'm losing my mind. I'm a 32-year-old guy in tech, graduated from IIIT Delhi, earning 78L annually, but I feel like I'm fooling everyone, including myself. It's as if I'm constantly waiting for someone to burst into the office and shout, "Hey, fraud! We've finally figured out you're actually useless!" I know it sounds like I'm humble-bragging, but trust me, I'm not. This feeling is eating me alive. Seven years ago, I started as a regular software engineer. Somehow, I kept getting promoted. Now I'm leading a team of 15 people, handling critical projects, and sitting in meetings with the higher-ups. But every time I'm in those meetings, I feel like a kid wearing his dad's oversized suit, pretending to be an adult. I work my ass off - late nights, weekends, you name it. But I always feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water. When my team comes to me with problems, I'm secretly panicking, thinking, "Why are you asking me? I'm as clueless as you!" The worst part? Everyone around me seems to think I'm some kind of wunderkind. My boss is always praising me in front of others. My team looks up to me. Even my parents are bragging about me to all our relatives. But inside, I'm constantly terrified that I'll make one tiny mistake and everyone will realize I'm a fraud. I see my college batchmates on LinkedIn, and they all seem so confident and successful. Meanwhile, I'm here, earning more than I ever thought I would, but feeling like I don't deserve any of it. I can't even enjoy my success. I bought a nice house last year, but instead of feeling proud, I keep thinking, "What if they fire me tomorrow? How will I pay for this?" It's like I'm waiting for everything to come crashing down. I know it's ridiculous to complain about a high-paying job when so many people are struggling. But this constant fear of being "found out" is driving me insane. I can't even talk to my friends about it because they'll probably think I'm just showing off. Has anyone else felt like this? How do you deal with feeling like a fraud when everyone thinks you're successful? Is this just part of adult life that no one talks about? This is what eats me alive during weekends, realised it's Friday and panic typed this here

So I’ve been a below avg. looking guy my entire school and college life. Got a decent job offer (8LPA) during my campus placements. This was the story till January 2023. Now It’s been around 1.5 Years. I’ve been working out 6 days a week (rarely skips), eat super clean food (monthly 1 cheat meal), started a skincare routine and tried to learning new technologies in search of a better job. This is the routine I followed for the entire 1.5 years. Right now, I’ve a high paying job and a great physique. (Went from 68Kgs to 81Kgs) A few women have approached me in last 3-4 months. In the gym, people come and talk to me regarding my diet and workout. A lot of people are sending me linkedin connections requests, asking for referral and guidance. But now I don’t wanna talk to anyone because no one wanted to talk that ugly, lean and broke me. Wish someone would’ve came to that old version of me and said “You are enough”.

Being anonymous gives me a safe space. But life is getting tougher than ever each day. I wish I had a better paying job. I wish I had time to have slow mornings. I wish I could provide for my family and give them the things they much deserve. I wish I had a chance to rewire rewind and restart. I wish I could do more than I wish to do. It's all wishes guys . It's all hopes. . Nothing seems fulfilling. Nothing seems to make me happy. I have forgotten what carefree days were like. Adulting is kinda hitting hard. I am not able to cope up. Can someone relate?

Guys please give me some tips to become fearless. I alway fear in every work. Whether it's joining new company,taking some tough work, doing something new, you name it and I always have fear. Fear of what will happen next,how will I manage that, is it even possible, what if they don't like me etc etc etc. I am currently in my early 20's and I don't want to spend my life fearing from everything. Please peeps guide me or give some mantras based on your life experiences how not to fear or how not to get that feeling.

Being a 24 yr old, I feel like I accomplished nothing in my life. Whatever I've tried to accomplish, I've failed to do so. I have no idea where my life's going.

One of the toughest day of my life started on 03rd September, 2024. I just did not want to leave my bed at all. The world that I imagined has just crumbled. The future that I envisioned no longer cease to exist. Sense of failure in all aspects of my life has hit me. A failure in professional life, a failure as a son, a failure as a brother, a failure as a friend, a failure as a partner. A complete failure in a nutshell. This is the lowest point in my life where I want to run away, from everything. Not care about anything, not face anyone, and just run away.