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This is concerning. Take care

Program Manager

This is concerning. Take care- Grapevine

Welcome to Software Engineers's Private Community

(Trigger warnings ) I had a mental Breakdown two days where I actually contemplated to off myself. I feel I am completely stuck in my current job and mental health has taken a free fall. There has been nothing to look forward to in my job career is absolutely stagnant I remember days i stayed up in night just ensure smooth deliverables but none of that translated to promotions or hike well I know you all will say why didn't you switch this is where the problem is I cannot bring myself to actually concentrate and prepare it seemingly a huge effort for me. I just not able to have that energy i feel absolutely negative. I could use some tough love. All I know is I cannot continue its literally do or die for me .PS : 2 days ago I "celebrated" 5 yrs work anniversary.

Mental Breakdown

Software Developer

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

So, my boss is an absolutely lovely person, and is the best boss I've had so far. Not to brag, but I'm also the best performer in my team, by a mile. So, while I do get my pats on the back, I'm also rewarded with more and more work. I love, atleast so far, what I do, so I didn't mind taking up more work, because I learnt a lot in the process too, and it helped my hone my craft better.

Cut to now, I'm losing interest in work. Don't feel like taking up any new work, no matter how exciting the brief, or how great its potential.

I feel like I'm burnt out. And majorly demotivated.

What makes it worse is seeing this other member in my team chill the absolute fk out. He's hardly even given any important projects because of what a waste resource he is.

I've also just been promoted. So, I'm not sure if I should share what's on my mind with my boss.

My mind says I shouldn't, but my heart says it should be fine.

What should I do about:
1. Telling or not telling my boss what I'm going through (because I'm scared if it'll come back to bite my later)
2. Me feeling extremely burnt out and demotivated.

Drop in a joke or two, if you want, but please drop in a serious and genuine reply too.

Should I tell me boss I'm burnt out?

Marketing Creative

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C1wwtuyIQZf/?igsh=MXVsaDdveTduaWM2

Take care of yourselves

Gen Z and Millennials are too harsh on themselves nowadays. Like literally trying to get 0 figure and following keto n protein diet after getting motivation from some reels of so called fitness influencers!

Covid vaccine impact is still under scan and people are doing so without any supervision.

Few days back I replied to a Q on gv, X was asking like should I cut my calories from 2500 to 600 just to reduce weight.

Please be mindful of what u do to ur body and mind.

Om shanti to the departed soul.

Read about the tragic incident of an 18-year-old gymmer who died during a lecture at a tutorial in Indore. Get all the details here.

Heartbreaking News: 18-Year-Old Gymmer Passes Away During Indore Tutorial | Indore News - Times of India

Be Mindful of Gym & Diet.

Senior Consultant

Any inputs/ thoughts are welcome. Plz share suggestions, experiences(if any).

How to work with Pakistani based mgr or client ?

DevOps Engineer

Adding context as link. 

3-4 months ago I shared my story on Grapevine about the brutally traumatising experience I faced at the hand of my colleague's wife who had accused him of committing adultery with me. This was obviously a bogus claim over a small misunderstanding around a bag which had gotten exchanged with my swimsuit in it.

Here's what happened afterwards.

I was out jogging last week in the morning. I've been trying to get in better shape for this summer as I'm planning on going for a beach vacation in. couple of months. After sustaining Zone 5 consistently I was going through my cooldown regimen for normalising my heart rate. 

Suddenly someone tapped my shoulder from behind and it was none other than that colleague's bitchy wife. She had shaven her head weirdly. This was extremely problematic imo because she is a known deranged person(read the last post to figure out why). I tried walking away but she started blocking my way.

I asked her what happened and she said that she was sorry for what happened and started crying. She said that her husband said that she had humiliated him and that people at work didn't talk to him properly for weeks because of what she did. 

I started walking slowly while acting engaged in her dialogue. As soon as I was about to reach the end of the park I started running towards my car that was parked outside and drove off.

I am very worried. Is she stalking my whereabouts? What should I do? My flatmates are trying to console me but I thought 4 months down the line everything was forgotten. I am extremely paranoid about what is happening.

Background
During a trip to Thailand, me and a colleague accidentally swapped bags. When I called to explain the mistake, his wife accused me of trying to seduce her husband. She harassed me with phone calls, and later threw eggs at my residence. Then, set her husband's bag on fire and got into trouble with the police. She was then arrested.

For full context: https://share.gvine.app/FdwwvTcDLzaK6i2a9

I would also like to address those who said that the story is fake. It isn't. I genuinely posted this here because as a woman it is hard to find spaces online to vent my frustrations. I was genuinely distressed at the moment and my flatmates did take care of me. I also received tons of support from the community here and I am thankful for that.

Here's what happened next:
I decided not to press charges as I am living away from my family and I don't want this to be the reason they start interfering in my personal freedom. Over the weekend, she apologized and invited me for dinner, I obviously declined because she acted all insane before.

But she is literally so dramatic that she lied to everyone that I came to her house and hit her so hard that she puked all over her clothes. Thankfully, their society has CCTV coverage and I didn't even leave my home all weekend. So, no one believed her this time. 

Our group thankfully supported me throughout this and the colleague is no longer in the group. Now, I just want to get over this traumatic experience which when I look back at is too unreal to even think about.

Here's what happened next, after Police arrested my Colleague's Wife- Grapevine

UPDATE: What happened next after my colleague's wife got arrested.

Analyst

I feel my life is extremely difficult after demise of my beloved father at the age he should have  not left us this early he was 51 and now without him my life is just extremely difficult in all aspects  , people around me , relatives , career aspect marriage aspect future everything just scares me and  i feel i cannot reach out to anyone for my help not even my mother with my problems I feel if i reach out to anyone they just shut it like dont overthink , please stop with your negativity I just dont know how to get on with life He was like shield to us Now i dont know even me , my mom , my sibling has changed like anything Nothing feels good anymore

Loosing a parent

Analyst 

Welcome to Personal Finance's Private Community

Hello folks. While I'd like to remain anonymous very much, here's what I can share about myself.

1. Working in consumer finance.
2. Love personal finance and helping people out with it.
3. Have published 10,000+ pieces of financial content in the mainstream media.
4. Wrote a best-selling book on money management. It was No. 1 on Amazon once upon a time. 
5. Lately been appearing on TV regularly for personal finance discussions.
6. Saved like crazy through my 20s and 30s, brought two apartments; have an 8-figure net worth mostly thanks to my mutual fund investments. It's not much but it's hard-earned.
7. My unrealised aspiration is travel and I'm working on it now.

No, I'm not selling anything. No commissions, no referral links, no finfluencing. 

Just want to talk, exchange ideas, and learn from you all. Maybe I'll feature you in my next book. :)

Ask me anything.

Let's talk money habits.

Corporate Strategist

I recently started a new job. I would like to share some of the experiences I have had with my manager. I am wondering if these are red flags or if I am maybe being paranoid or thinking too much.

It was quite difficult for me to get into this company and this job. The company is quite great and I was quite excited but some of the experiences I have had with my immediate manager have made me a bit apprehensive.
I would like to share them and hear opinions about it.

Here are some things which have happened which I have not liked so far - 

1. I speak to a Senior Engineer one day and next day my manager asks me if anyone asked me to speak to him. 
2. I shared an insight about a new tool which we can use on a deployment pipeline on the overall pod (under my skip manager). My manager immediately called me and started asking my status update and replied 'Discussing 1-1' in the group to prevent anyone getting visibility of the idea. 
3. My manager pings me whenever I go offline and recently he asked me in a passive aggressive way, 'Please monitor your Teams status. It was away for most of today.' I now feel kind of paranoid to never get up as I feel my Teams status is being monitored.

Is my manager too much of a micromanaging red flag ? I started a new job and my manager monitors my Teams online status.

Latest warning

Consultant

Be careful

Investor

Had a regular yearly check up 2 weeks back and found that I'm diabetic. Both my parents are diabetic and I assumed I'll be as well at some point in my life as an inheritance from them but never thought this early. I did not tell this to anyone, not even my wife. Took me 2 weeks to get hold of myself and let the feeling sink in.
Started making changes to my life style since yesterday and started working out as well. Today is Day-2.

Health scare at 35

Welcome to News Discussion's Private Community

I saw some people making fun of mental health and work life balance. Please don't make jokes about it and making fun by saying EY. If people cannot even respect someone's life instead make fun of it then I am really starting to question about the society we are living in. It is a very serious issue and many people are suffering because of stress. You might be a god gifted child and didn't have any stress or mental health issues. But there are others who are not blessed like you. Instead of making fun try being sympathetic and empathetic towards these issues. People are already suffering and making jokes on it doesn't help instead makes them more depressed. Just because you didn't suffer doesn't mean it's a myth.  It's very real and very important for survival. If mental health is not good it will also affect physical health issues and can lead to many other problems. Next time before making joke remember to understand people instead of making fun.

Mental health is serious issue!!

Human resource

I just cant handle the pressure and the stress in this role. I am working so hard that I have ZERO work life balance.  The entire day just goes in meetings and meetings.  I think that I don't know anything and am extremely worried about my future. 

The work pressure is a lot here, deadlines are too tight and I have been vomiting from stress at night.
The worst part is, Deloitte never pays for over time.

Anyone else feeling this in other Big4s? I want to switch ASAP or I will die here.

I feel like I have failed in life by joining Deloitte. Anyone else feel this way in Big4?

Product Manager

https://www.google.com/amp/s/nypost.com/2023/05/05/google-senior-software-engineer-31-jumps-to-death-from-nyc-headquarters/amp/

Take care of your mental health folks

Software Engineer

IT job WFH
And then my own personal business. Almost 11 hrs a day on display. With 2-3hrs on break.
From 11am-12pm

I always wake up fresh. But the eye strain starts appearing from 3 pm, 
By 6 it triggers headache.

Taking a small break doesn't work unless for 1hr+
But headache comes as soon as I sit back again

Taking baths indeed helps most days
But once a week on average I end up taking paracetamol for an unbearable headache.

It is usually the back of the eyes and top of the head, sometimes the teeth muscles feels like numbing as well.

Weed works best but kills productivity 
Also I don't feel good morally being Ganjeri

I use quality anti glare glass , without the glass I can't even stare for 20 mins.

What can I do here?

Is paracetamol once a week safe on average?
Or should I hit bong ?
Is there anything else I can do to reduce it?

I visited eye doc thrice, never helped.
Specially the 20-20-20
And yes, I BLINK normal

Headache from display/eye strain

Video Game Developer

Apparently, this family went abroad for a vacation and got COVID-19. Their neighbours also have COVID and contact-tracing is underway. I hope this is not the beginning of the end. My daughter has been crying all night because she thinks that she won't be able to meet her friends.

What should I do?

My society has 2 cases of Covid-19 already, MC has asked to mask up

Please learn to recognise stroke and heart attack symptoms if you don't know already. They are similar to acidity and indigestion. I learnt the hard way today despite having read so much about it.

It doesn't always happen like one expects, where patient clutches their heart or starts fainting, it doesn't look very different from common conditions like viral fever. Uneasiness in chest is a huge red flag no one should ignore.

I was trying to treat symptoms because he had fever and a few other problems as well since before. Didn't even occur to me that it could be so much worse because I've never seen someone have a heart attack before. He was still walking around and functioning alright, albeit slower and with pain. 

Thankfully we managed to get to a hospital in time, but we should have gone sooner. The more one delays, the more difficult recovery becomes.

I suspect the new covid strain is doing this, seeing a lot of other heart attack patients in the hospital. Please watch out for people with co-morbidities like diabetes, bp problems, cholesterol etc.

I hope he pulls through this. Completely shaken today.

Dad had a heart attack and I couldn't figure it out

Product Owner

I turned 30 last month and I still feel i am a 20 year old. I lost the last 4 years of my life working from home and have started to go to office recently. I never worked together in a team, never been out for team lunches/dinners, never presented my work to the seniors/leadership. I have 4.5 years experience on the paper and my interaction with colleagues in person has been almost zero .

I don’t know how to do my taxes, can’t do basic servicing of my bike, extremely indiscipline’s, rarely track my expenses, can’t say ‘No’, haven’t upskill we and hence stuck in TCS, can’t stick to a hobby or interest, pathetic in managing my time, have no sense of punctuality, socially awakened, overweight with a pot belly and hence have confidence issues, can’t take care of myself in terms of self grooming, couldn’t maintain friendships as I used  to get offended when someone made fun of me or mocked me- my inflated ego is just useless. 

I can’t control my emotions, I sometimes get emotional and have tears in my eyes, I show emotions easily on my face, not smart when it comes to dealing with others, don’t know how much to talk to whom, whom to talk to, how to talk to and when to talk.

I’ve been told I’m pessimistic and highly negative about myself but I’m just saying things the way it is.
I have no responsibilities on life. I’ll be getting married the next year and I know I can take up the responsibility. But I still have the fear of putting my fiancé down. I love her a lot and I never even  would do anything to put her down.

My bad time management skills, inability to focus, getting distracted badly, being a slow learner, not networking, not having idea on making switches regularly, being too lazy and impatient to learn new things, not being updated in terms of on demand skills, tools , technologies, reluctance to learn something new and hence staying in comfort zone has screwed up my career.

I feel stuck and lost in life.
I honestly don’t know what to do.

This is concerning. Take care

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