Walking downhill in life

Please respond honestly based on your experience. no words from books or random thoughts.

I will complete 3 years as a professional soon. Quit a Big4 to join a startup for better pay and faster growth but despite putting in my best work and leading initiatives, going above and beyond all the time, my peers are all earning better than me doing similar jobs. i never had a financially aware upbringing. my father put us through hell due to his bad decision making and despite me being very financially savvy, am unable to save any money because im so anxious I tend to spend what I dont have. i had to take up a lot of freelancing to aid my lifestyle but now im busy all the time and have no time to myself. idk what to do. idk how much savings my parents have since I live away from them and dad never discusses his larger financial plans with me. he also does not have a stable job even at his age even though I know he is v hardworking and does his best. i feel i will never have enough money to support my parents and myself and feel like im running out of time. also doing interviews to leave this shitty company as well which is lowballing tf out of me. im not sitting idle at all, trying to startup on the side as well. i workout, eat and sleep healthy, have a great social life. the only problem is money which im constantly worrying about. i feel its a generational curse passed down to me. I know I have 10x earning capabilities but its all so vague and uncertain. I have an amazing support system and I know I can talk to my friends about this too. just thought of coming here first please share stories if youve ever felt this way. open to advice feedback ideas. how did you get out of it? what can I do? what are some business/sales roles that pay really well that I can get into as an ex-big4 analyst? i dont think my current profile translates well anywhere. f*ck this company honestly. probably the worst decision I made coming here :(

I was suffering from 2-3 mild health issues in metro. (prolonged cold n cough, regular sneezing etc) Came home 🏡 in diwali and now extended wfh due to health gain. Living with parents and consuming clean air + food is helping improve my sleep quality as well ❤️‍🩹 (2h+ deep sleep) 8h continuous sleep. I did cost benifit analysis and have decided to work on a plan which will eventually help me settle down at my birthplace within 2-5y. synopsis -- Children's play under sun 🌞 and have group of 10 kids. They ain't worried about anything. Their happiness index > ceos. They don't know about masturbation till 10th or age 14 if they don't have a smartphone. My workplace is open and aqi is below 10. Strong peepal and banyan trees 🌴 even 100y old. When I feel stressed due to any reason I just go to see sunset near my place hardly 2km away. It's a stress buster with earbuds in and watching migrant birds crossing river. Ain't those birds more free and independent than us? Like they don't give a damn 🕊️ about future and enjoy the present. Very less car and almost 0 traffic ⛔. People still use bicycles and cycle repair shop>garages. Life is slow and peaceful. People go to sleep at 9-10pm and wake up at 5-6am. Life is too easy. Cost of a family with 2acre land is hardly 25k/m here. Sometimes I wonder why chase 2 lac/month sacrificing so much in a so called developed city. Society is ambivert. Pizza 🍕 🍔 burger biryani is trying to enter these areas. But I don't miss swiggy. Zeptonis redundant here. My 💳 credit card is lying there thinking why am not swiping it... यहाँ कोई मित्र नहीं है, कोई आश्वस्त चरित्न नहीं है, सब अर्धनिर्मित है। अर्धनिर्मित इमारतें हैं, अर्धनिर्मित बच्चों कि शरारतें हैं, अर्धनिर्मित ज़िन्दगी कि शर्ते हैं, अर्धनिर्मित जीवन पाने के लिए लोग रोज़ यहाँ मरते हैं। अर्धनिर्मित है यहाँ के प्रेमियों का प्यार, अर्धनिर्मित है यहाँ मनुष्यों के जीवन के आधार आज का दिन अर्धनिर्मित

When i was in college i wanted to build my own company/product. Thought of many ideas and tried to build something. None of them worked and it affected my studies so I had to quit just to clear my exams. After college I took placements in a WITCH like company where I got put into data entry/operations job after clearing difficult coding interviews (kismat kharab?). Somehow learnt new technologies on the side and managed to switch to a development role at a lower salary in a startup. After 3 years Worked hard on DSA and (barely) managed to get a good offer with above average pay. But the company is not stable anymore and may layoff at any time. Right now struggling to learn enough DSA to crack any company. Now I am almost 30, i have no hobbies,no talents, no relationships just trying to have a stable career. I see people everywhere doing so many things at once. How do they manage to do this. They are working at FAANG and managing businesses at the same time, have a bunch of friends. What am I doing wrong?

With zero finance and not single interview call I really deciding to end this journey on this planet. Come on don’t label me coward ending own life needs huge load of courage too. This is also help my family to get the Life insurance money and continue their normal life at seems to only option at the moment.

One week ago, everything was going well in my life. I had a good job, my mum was happy, Papa proudly told everyone, my son is a software engineer, there was no tension for my younger brother's education, we were thinking of buying all the things this diwali like for mum ,gold,for dad, bike.3 days before, my manager asked me for resignation and gives me poor ratings because management told him to do that. Since that day, my deep happiness has disappeared. Mummy is sad, papa is sad, I am not even feeling good. Today I went to the bank to take a loan for my brother's education. When I came to talk he rejected me. I reached the station and was filled with sorrow. I kept writing this post. If I ever come back to my life, I will remember this time when I look at this post. And if everything has gone wrong, then I will accept my fate.

I know most of us don't have a choice as we need to earn to make our livelihood, but what keeps you going day in and day out? Or do you just wait for the weekends. I think very few people get to do what they love doing. So how do you get through the week ? What do you tell yourself ?

Sunday night blues. Are you really happy? A lot of us are chasing something that can cause a really lonely, unhappy, unsatisfactory life. Share it with all of us. Please. Serious replies only. Let's extend support for each other.

TW: It can make you spiral I was watching Tarla the other day (ah don't roll your eyes yet) She started with cooking classes, then published books, then a TV show A growth graph in life (sure, it is not exponential, but still upwards) What are we doing in life? One job to another, getting hikes, and repeating the same again. Each company looks fab on social media, but is the same stinking shithole from inside. Where am I going? What's more to life now? Every day is almost the same, except for some occasional bumps or problems which we solve in a week/month.