Why are we like this 😭

Growth Manager

Why are we like this 😭- Grapevine

why are we like this ?

Senior Software Engineer

Welcome to Software Engineers's Private Community

Everyone seems so lonely , i just see loneliness on each and every individual. I don't know why , i think because I'm lonely  thats the reason i see loneliness all around . I feel no body is happy or sad. But tired of everything. we cannot be consistent for anything whether it's studies , job , relationship , marriage . We want change in everything every now and then . But with same time we want a home where we can find our comfort. Where we can find our people.  Why humans are like this .why can't e be satisfied. We are humans we want people with same time we don't let people enter in our life .just nothing seems goood.

Nothing is Good or Bad

Analyst

I'll go first.

I love to ask, design: 
Google docs, 
Google maps, 
Spotify
Play store/App store
True caller
Zerodha/Share market terminal

What are some of your favourite questions?

Your favorite system design question?

Founder

Welcome to News Discussion's Private Community

Why is everyone posting stories with the title "All eyes on Rafah". What are they expecting by putting up stories? 
Millions have already died in this war. What Israel did this time was wrong for sure but what is the point of the story? Is the war over? Did Israel suddenly realize their mistake after seeing a story from a 14 year old GenZ.
In all honesty, I don't care about this war. Hamas attacked Israel first and now is crying that Israel has become ruthless. Are they stupid or what?
There is a famous saying "When you try to attack the king, make sure you goddamn kill it".

The only option is to stop the war from both the sides but no one is ready to do that. Blame game continues between Hamas and Israel and the commoners are dying because of that.

Why is the powerful side always considered wrong? Don't poke the dragon. That's it.

India doesn't poke China if it does something in the border area only beacuse any kind of revenge will lead to loss of million lives and that is a smart move which the people will appreciate.

And in the same manner, if Pakistan (a weaker country) than us tries to attack us, I will want my govt to shoot them down.

WTF is "All eyes on Rafah"?

Software Developer

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

I can’t be be the only one, but I am surrounded by multiple people that just do not believe in async communication. They first send a “hi”, wait for me to acknowledge and then only proceed to tell me what they want. Even if it is something ridiculous like “What is the URL to access this portal?”. 

I generally am very quick with messages and from the last few months, this “hi” business is ticking me off. I decided to do some social experiment and delayed my responses to hi. 

If someone just sends me a “hi”, I schedule a “hi” to 3 hours from then. Result? People would rather sit on blockers than tell me what they want. 

I then tried a decreasing backoff. If you texted me a “hi” once, I’d respond in 3 hours. Repeat it a second time, I’d respond in 4 hours. 5 hours the third time, 6 hours the fourth and so on. 

Results? People would still rather I acknowledge their “hi” than tell me what they want.  

Some anecdotes of how “efficient” communication is:

1. A guy wanted access to a portal that I managed. He pinged me a “hi” every morning for 7 straight days before actually asking me what he wants. 
2. Another person wanted to understand git commands that can be used to solve merge conflicts. But not before pinging “hi” for 4 days, then just pulling me into a call with their manager and their manager pinging me a “hi” when I declined the call. 
3. Another person wanted an update on a ticket I closed 2 years ago. All he wanted was a change request number, which he could find using control + F on the Jira portal. He chose to send “hi”s to multiple team mates of mine when I didn’t respond. 

Ultimately, I started telling people to not just ping and disappear and that they can reach out to me. But I guess old habits die hard and I still receive multiple “hi”s. 

Merko unkin”hi” lag gayi. 

Also, before you scream at me for ranting about such a piddi problem. https://nohello.net/en/ is the thing.

Folks that ping “hi” and disappear

Software Engineer

Fathers, brothers, friends- they will be happy cheerful jolly one day and next day silence!
Won't share what's bothering them

If we ask too many times, then we are termed as nagging

Why do men just suddenly go quiet?

Consultant

The obsession I regret the most in my life is the all or nothing behavior.

Where, 
- I'll apply for a job only after knowing everything there is to know for a role.  This is why I used to see people with half my knowledge applying and getting jobs and moving ahead in life. I used think it's so unfair that they achieve in all aspects of their life and I in none...
- I'll date someone only when I know I am the perfect version that I envision for myself 
- I'll only take photos when I am in my perfect shape. If I don't have 8 abs, I don't deserve photos!
- I'll stop questioning whether I am good enough only when I achieve everything else I am a loser

I just was very cruel to myself for my own imperfections!
This instilled a fear in me that shattered my spirit, self confidence and self worth.  I ended up being afraid to pick anything up. 

If I couldn't stay course in something and for some reason I wasn't able to do something for a day or 2, my perfectionism mindset said, that's it, I am a failure and I thought, nothing can be done now and gave up

This resulted in I procrastinating in things. 
Why to work hard, I am never gonna make it...
I have 100 things to do in life else I am failure but I don't have time to do all that in this lifetime. Perfectionism results in not doing anything!

After meeting people, self introspection and podcasts from people, I realised its okay to mess up, its okay to fall down. I should dust myself off and continue! 
It is so hard now to change yourself after years of disappointment. You need so much positivity and letting go of perfectionism. You need self love and kindness... 

TLDR -
Don't be like an OCD person obsessing over things to go exactly the way they want!
Don't reject yourself due to failures/setbacks. Dust yourself off and move ahead!
It's okay to be imperfect as long as you promise to be consistent!

[Controversial Opinion] Don't chase perfectionism chase consistency. Period!

Let's ask Modi ji to make this a law.

Everyone should work 84 hours per week. All of us have wasted too much time in the last 10 years already.

84 hour work week

Grapevine has assigned animals to all of us based on the first letter of our username but most of us probably don't relate to them. Which animal's personality do you think is the most relatable to you? Or which animal's personality traits would you like to emulate yourself?

Which animal resembles your personality the most?

Welcome to Indian Startups's Private Community

Experienced it for the first time – the concept of accepting mistakes. Didn't know this was a concept or it had a term.

Example- 
Manager - This broke.
Employee - I think it may be because I did something

Next step - Fix the broken.

Don't have to say sorry explicitly when you already mean it. Simple. This is the right form of ownership.

It's something no one taught us. We have been molded the other way
- Broke a cup, point to our siblings
- Misplaced information on presentation, give excuses on how hectic schedule is

It's true, startup culture is going to change the world.
Babe wake up, it came to India too!

P.S. If this culture comes natural at your workplace, you may not realize how much less stressed your employees are.

The Blameless Culture

🥶

10 engineering blogs to take you to the next level

25 tech blogs you must read

40 big tech system design blogs for interviews

75 software engineering blogs to read everyday

1000 tech blogs that will make you a staff engineer

... and many more.

LinkedIn was used to share useful engineering information but now it just feels like a URL aggregator

Am I the only one bothered by this trend?

When I was doing my masters in economics last year, I met a girl. I was instantly attracted to her, however never got a chance to ask her out. Eventually I did, and we went out a couple of times. I really liked her but I think she considered me a good friend. I got mixed messages from her. Once, she sends me text messages in the middle of the night asking me to take her to lunch tomorrow and another she doesn't reply back to me. Anyway I persisted but eventually she kinda distanced herself from the relationship after we hooked up. I had fallen for her but she wanted no part of anything. Didn't return my calls or texts, or when she did made up excuses to avoid hanging out. 

So I told her how I felt. She was angry at me for ruining our friendship even though we hooked up, which she instigated. I never saw her again for the 3 months( she went to Delhi for some work) but she called me occasionally if she needed to talk or something.

So she left and we remained in touch via Whatsapp. On one occasion, I made a passing joke as to how she spent time with every dude there but me. She became very offended and we stopped communication. She started it up again but didn't apologise.

Finally, I actually visited Delhi because another friend of mine was getting married and invited me. I didn't visit her because of time constraints and she became pissed, and wouldn't talk to me, accusing me of doing it on purpose. That was 6 months ago.

I'm going to a friends birthday soon and she's gonna be there. 

Would it be bad for me to hold the grudge? Or should I just let it go.

Bear in mind, she avoided me whilst hanging out with others and then accuses me of avoiding her.
I don't wanna be a douche but I don't wanna be a pushover, someone who can call me whenever and I'll come running.

Please help Grapevine! 🙏🏻

Girl Trouble - Am I Bad?

She's a big red flag. She's either manipulative or moody. We don't need these teasing and chasing games in 2024. 
  
 Move on

Investment Manager

We have gone from Not being able to express ourselves ➡️ not being bothered to express ourselves.🤔🤔

Random thought

Share your list. But Only unmarried women

We did a men survey with huge response rate
: https://grapevine.in/post/808462ef-8ae0-4269-aaa3-c683ba1194bb

Women your turn, what is that you seek in your to-be spouse?

I was in depression a few years ago due to unexpected events in my personal life ( I don't want to give too many details, but it is related to family. Nothing happened to me) I have fortunately come out of it, but I still take medication because I don't want to relapse. Not being condescending but I have a good profile, I have studied in top tier institutions (iisc) earning well (30lpa), not beautiful but I know how to groom myself. Every guy I meet be it through friends or parents is initially very interested in me, then I tell them about my diagnosis. They straight up ghost me. Most don't even ask questions to know more. 
 TLDR someone with an open mind and doesn't have a prejudice against mental illnesses.

Data Scientist

I have been a little caught up with numerous things in my life lately and have finally found some free time to open up myself to new experiences. 

I had a wishlist of shows and movies that I wanted to watch but as soon as I start watching them, I get bored and feel like turning it off. 

No, its not the content
No, its not the genre
No, its not the actors
No, its not the taste either

This is pretty ironic as considering the fact that I have spent a fair share of my youth chasing academics and career, my heart had always craved for life experiences. I had to let go of the woman I loved simply because I was too focussed on my JEE. I wont be able to forgive myself for that EVER. It almost felt like I had lost a limb, without which , I would be rendered disfunctional. Thats a separate story tho.

Nothing excites me (yep nothing)
Nothing amuses me 
Nothing feels lively

I have no clue where my life is headed

I understand that as we age, our triggers of happiness change. I have put concious efforts into knowing what those new triggers are. But I cant find any plausible sources of happiness.

I am performing pretty well with my career.
Even got a double digit hike.
But didnt feel that kick of joy.

Have I approached a dead end?

Losing Interest In New Things

Data engineer

1 like = 1 cringe react

Corporate Strategist

I really feel like doing a lot, but at the same time, I don’t feel like doing anything.


Does this happen to you all as well?

Why are we like this 😭

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by Isaiah Carmden

Stealth