Grapeviners, can you, with all honesty convince a non-believer like me into getting married and having children. If you do, my parents will send a million blessings your way.
About me:
My reason to resist marriage is: I'm scared it won't work out and will cause bigger problems than being single. Have seen too many unhappy marriages in family and friends. Dating scenes in recent times have only made things even more unimpressive.
You do realize that you could literally be the dream girl for so many guys out there? All you need to do is find someone with a good heart. The rest can be taken care of.
No matter how much you love being alone, there will eventually come a point when loneliness catches up, and you will end up in distress. Think about how you want to spend your 30s, 40s, and 50s. The answer will be sufficient for you to decide what’s best for you. :)
I agree, this thought does definitely come to my mind - that I'll feel alone at a later stage. But the possibility of struggling with indian family drama after marriage or ending up in a bad marriage is way scarier. I am unable to conquer that. Too many failed marriages around, with very less faults of theirs.
I read this comment in Thomas Shelby's voice, 'Good heart' felt the weirdest
After a few failed relationships, I had an arranged marriage (at that time, it was just to fulfill what my parents wanted). She was a very conventional girl,, never had any relationship before. I was scared going into the marriage too.
5 years later, she is the best thing that has happened to me. She helped me explore things I never would have. She gave my life a different perspective.
I'm not saying just because it happened to me, it could happen to you too. I'm saying unless you take the leap you'll never know what you're missing out on.
1 cr is nothing
You should marry because your career ain’t shit whether you are a man or a women
Your family will care for you and be there when you die not your colleagues
If you can’t find the right guy don’t marry, he should be decent enough don’t look for a prince ( they don’t exist)
Somehow the feminist have convinced women work is good and marriage is bad, marriage and kids is important for both man and wife
Money is shit and so is career, the only meaning you will get is in friends family and god.
I am a man and I might be mansplaining to you, work can go to shit and career can collapse, status can be spoiled it is family ( if you choose rightly ) that will survive the test of time.
That is why find a nice fellow who you care for and more importantly he cares for you and settle down.
If you don’t find ( which some don’t) 2 things, standards are too high or right person ain’t there.
Hopefully both things won’t happen.
I find your response full of arrogance with strong hints of misogyny.
I'd request that you stop "nonsplaining" cause the response made no sense.
I assumed you were a 3rd wave feminist which is bad on my part I myself would consider myself a 2nd wave feminist
No you don’t get it,
Career is not important
Even the prime minister is a shit thing to be, we all are small specks of matter who don’t matter
Nothing matters
You work as a growth marketer it ain’t rocket science it is unlikely you will change humanity but even if you were Einstein your work would mean nothing if you were unhappy in your family life
But if something would, then it would be family.
I don’t know you, maybe you have high standards maybe you don’t that was genric statement
You would have to know me to know if I am a Misogynist .
I would put myself in misanthropic section
And If you did know me you would have far worse things to say about me
But you will know met to speak the truth as I perceive it.
You will soon learn as life progresses nothing matters accept maybe family
That is my advice to both men and women.
1 cr is a shitty amount to be worth so is 100 cr if you don’t have right person to share it with .
Also like in 1cr you can’t buy a flat anywhere so it is shity you should look into who is going portfolio management for you you should look into it.
Bohut ghor satya hai nothing matters maybe except family
😂
If you want strangers online to convince you to get married, and eventually do get convinced because of family pressure etc. you will most probably regret getting married. I would suggest waiting it out, because no matter what anyone says it's better being alone than being with the wrong person(which is way more lonelier). That being said I do hope you find a person whom you yourself would wish to marry and not require external pressure to do so.
I have a different view on this. Like I mentioned in another comment in the thread, sometimes the best advice / experiences are shared by strangers. That's because anonymity opens up honesty. My parents will have societal reasons to convince me. But you all don't.
"Jinxed when it comes to relationships" Can you elaborate on this point?
Fell for non-committal guys (two) in the past. I Became clingy as a result in both cases. Was young and needed validation. Later, I realised my own cringes and took a break from relationships for some time. The break has now carried on for 4 years.
If you want me to be honest, I would suggest that you first delve into understanding yourself better. Recognize your behavior patterns, break them, and explore your attachment style. Learn how to deal with it. By doing so, you'll uncover the reasons behind falling for the wrong guys and why external validation holds significance for you. If necessary, consider therapy. Find peace within yourself, and witness the magic in decision-making. Trust me, you'll love the results. Once you achieve inner peace, the perspectives of strangers on the internet will no longer hold significance for you.
I would sooo love to have a conversation with you sometime.
I am 24 and live with similar fears honestly.
It may not be completely the same as yours but the foundation is same lol.
Let me know if you want to get in touch. I don't have many grapes yet to be able to DM. But maybe in future we can connect and vent out. ❤️
Definitely! I strongly believe that our parents or their generation will not be able to convince us. Rather, our peers will be able to do that, if at all.
Welp I am open to the idea of marriage. It's the fear of ending up with the wrong person which holds me back. But i am not sure about having kids. The whole pregnancy and delivery process really icks me out. But that's a conversation for another time 😌
I have similar fears but I also think there's sufficient chances of it working out.
I still have relatively high standards though, doubt if someone will match them.
Just keeping an open mind is good enough I guess. Shouldn't dismiss any possibilities.
That's fine, it's pretty much a numbers game. Talk to 40-50 people, vibe with 3-4, choose one.
Ideally talk to 100 or more but good prospects most likely won't wait too long. Depends on your urgency as well.
I feel you should find someone who isn’t insecure about your networth at this age.
Also, congratulations! Please give tips to your fellow minority on this platform 🤝🏽
Thank you! But I cannot take the credit for my net worth. I had luck on my side. Parents gifted some money on my graduation, which I invested into SGBs and a property in a very upcoming tier 2 city. Both ended up giving more than expected returns. I have only earned and saved about 30 lac out of 1 cr on my own.
How much did your parents gift you? Assuming by your age, you would have graduated UG in 2016/17. So, gold would have doubled for you (Maybe 2.3x) . I am assuming similarly for property (although it's difficult to fathom property rates doubling in 6 years). So did your parents gift you 30/35lakh? That's a significant gift for graduation
I’m your carbon copy. Exactly same. Even the net worth I guess. 28 Male. Even I’m convinced marriage these days are just a formality. Maybe because everyone has Gone through relationships and breakups. Making it feel it’s normal modern dating. I literally know people cheating out there, complaining about their partners at office. However, I’m convinced that a good partner brings a lot of things on the table - from growth to companionship. I still believe there’re some good people left. I’ve created a certain filter that has been working for me to find good people. Although I’m still single due to my over cautiousness. Moreover, We’re growth marketers and we can see analyse behavior.
Whatever you're feeling is pretty natural and all of us have felt it at that age, I know I did. Infact I was a bit more extreme and pessimistic about life and marriage. But at a point, I felt life is at a standstill. I was enjoying, travelling, growing in my career - but it all started feeling meaningless. That's when I started looking out and eventually got married after some social adventures.
Marriage is scary, period. Whether it's some stranger which you/parents found or someone you've been in relationship for years. It's a lifelong commitment and you can't predict how it's going to be after marriage. There are going to be arguments, fights and constant headaches - just because of difference in way both genders think. More than bringing stuff to the table, it's about how much you're willing to reasonably compromise.
For instance, even a small thing like keeping the fan on at night isn't straightforward. So you can imagine how life's bigger decisions might look like. Even if you have an understanding partner, it's difficult. I can only imagine the suffering people might go through with an unreasonable person.
But is it worth it? Absolutely! Even with all the challenges, life feels.. fresh. When you're living with a person, your mental state changes in a good way. I'm not saying I was depressed or something when I was by myself - but living together is on a next level. You can't directly feel it beforehand, but one day you realise that life's much better this way. Tangible benifits like backup, family are obvious so I'm not going to mention them.
Now, it all depends on what partner you end up with. Maybe it's easy for me to preach because I got a decent partner. But I generally looked out for
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