Misc Community

by PunyBlame

2 months ago

Making 78L at 32, but I feel like an imposter. Is this normal? (Self-reflection + seeking advice)

I think I'm losing my mind. I'm a 32-year-old guy in tech, graduated from IIIT Delhi, earning 78L annually, but I feel like I'm fooling everyone, including myself. It's as if I'm constantly waiting for someone to burst into the office and shout, "Hey, fraud! We've finally figured out you're actually useless!" I know it sounds like I'm humble-bragging, but trust me, I'm not. This feeling is eating me alive. Seven years ago, I started as a regular software engineer. Somehow, I kept getting promoted. Now I'm leading a team of 15 people, handling critical projects, and sitting in meetings with the higher-ups. But every time I'm in those meetings, I feel like a kid wearing his dad's oversized suit, pretending to be an adult. I work my ass off - late nights, weekends, you name it. But I always feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water. When my team comes to me with problems, I'm secretly panicking, thinking, "Why are you asking me? I'm as clueless as you!" The worst part? Everyone around me seems to think I'm some kind of wunderkind. My boss is always praising me in front of others. My team looks up to me. Even my parents are bragging about me to all our relatives. But inside, I'm constantly terrified that I'll make one tiny mistake and everyone will realize I'm a fraud. I see my college batchmates on LinkedIn, and they all seem so confident and successful. Meanwhile, I'm here, earning more than I ever thought I would, but feeling like I don't deserve any of it. I can't even enjoy my success. I bought a nice house last year, but instead of feeling proud, I keep thinking, "What if they fire me tomorrow? How will I pay for this?" It's like I'm waiting for everything to come crashing down. I know it's ridiculous to complain about a high-paying job when so many people are struggling. But this constant fear of being "found out" is driving me insane. I can't even talk to my friends about it because they'll probably think I'm just showing off. Has anyone else felt like this? How do you deal with feeling like a fraud when everyone thinks you're successful? Is this just part of adult life that no one talks about? This is what eats me alive during weekends, realised it's Friday and panic typed this here

boredcorporate

Others

2 months ago

Socrates: “I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing.”

boredcorporate

Others

2 months ago

It’s a very common phenomenon these days because of how much we have been able to achieve in such short timelines which has no parallel in our family or friends. It makes us doubt our capabilities. Maybe it’s true, maybe it’s not but what I have learnt as long as you are aware of your shortcomings and willing to learn, you will be okay. And once in a while remember we are all going to die, soak in the success and enjoy the moment.

FirmDogwood2

Accenture

2 months ago

1st stanza last line ✨

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PerfumedJournalist

Teksystems

2 months ago

Nice house, fat paycheck, and still feeling like a fraud? Sounds rough, bro. Maybe try crying into your piles of cash - I hear it's therapeutic.

CompleteConsequence

Stealth

2 months ago

Damn. Great job with the empathy bruh.

WhatsHappeninn

Amazon

2 months ago

I understand you're frustrated but someone's being vulnerable and opening up anonymously for support, least we can do is not make it worse for them

LoudWinner

Apple

2 months ago

Dude, you're not alone in this! Impostor syndrome is super common, especially for high achievers. Your success is legit - you've worked hard for it. Remember, feeling out of your depth often means you're growing. Most people feel like they're winging it sometimes, even if they look confident. Keep crushing it, and try to give yourself credit for how far you've come. You've earned your spot!

CharmingCalmMan

Deloitte

2 months ago

Bhai ish bnde ki baat sun @PunyBlame

Albaadi_balak

Stealth

2 months ago

This!!

SolidBout

Stealth

2 months ago

Not earning as much as you are. But I get you. I have the same feeling half the time. I feel like an imposter who just made it through with luck and no hard/valuable work. Instead of feeling this anxiety everytime, I've decided to work on upgrading my skillset now. Courses, competitions etc. This helps build my confidence a bit. I have a bunch of friends who have the same imposter syndrome. We all have different ways to deal with it.

PlaintiveProduce

TestCompany

2 months ago

Knowledge builds confidence.

Mehanti

Stealth

2 months ago

Have you ever think how much company is earning and giving you peanuts. If you are thinking you are earning free money so i am sharing my assumption may be its correct may be its wrong but since our childhood we always surrounded by movies and we starts thinking like - Money can earn through hard work only. No employer is foolish and there are too many things considered like your Academics, your past company, your behavior otherwise a labour(Who build the house) Should earn atleast 1 Cr per annum because he is shakimaan

Grim

Student

2 months ago

This guy thinks

boredcorporate

Others

2 months ago

Quite a lot!

ChiryankaPopra

Student

2 months ago

78 L wala esa kya kam krte ho tum log

FussyPint

Early Stage Startup

2 months ago

Meetings, decision making, and fakin.

VoluminousPickle

Hexaware

22 days ago

Bhai mujhe lele

InbornOutlay

PayPal

2 months ago

Similar feeling , I wasted 4 years of my life in a mid size company wit no projects and no real work experience. I boasted my projects and recently landed a job in good company with 100%hike. Unable to work now , my juniors are much better than me . Fearing they might fire me off once they know my real truth

RoughBreeze4

Walmart

2 months ago

What about if someone wasted almost the same years but in a big company. Because of the pilot batch?

InbornOutlay

PayPal

2 months ago

It's right time to shift. I am struggling now, but trying hard to learn and understand. Learning from juniors too without ego. Maybe after 1-2years I will have my worth

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AFAIK

Series B Startup

2 months ago

Bro, F U 😂. What's this nonsense train of thoughts you have right here ? Why all the fear ? I bet if you talk with even the founder of a big company, he'll definitely say "It's normal what you are feeling. The feeling of not knowing anything and somehow you figured out the way and reached here". I'm younger than you, earning probably 10th of what you earn. But even I'm as clueless as you. Forget me. My prev reporting manager who had 10YoE, also felt the same as you are. Everytime I reached out to him when my lead and seniors were unavailable, he took time to find out what can be done. At one point, he openly said in a 1-on-1 that he sometimes felt clueless when I asked him for help. Literally shivering within. Yet he took time and helped me out. He said that's how you become a better person at work, in life as well. It's not knowing everything, not being the best person, not having all the skills you need. It's who you are and how you deal with a situation. It's how you figure out the way through the barricade, the wall and maybe even the ocean if you are thrown at it. He also said that he too is a human, not a god, not an AI model to know everything. But what he has is experience. Something that he has developed subconsciously over the years (which you too will definitely have). Infact, I bet your boss knows this. He knows you know not everything or even nothing, BUT you'll figure out your way when you are given something to solve. So, chill maar. Enjoy life. Save well, Invest well. Keep yourself happy. Keep your loved ones happy. Keep up the good work.

WiseDaylight

PWC

a month ago

Good one

ElonMast

Amazon

2 months ago

I think you need to spend time beyond work. You are too much invested in work that during free times, negative thoughts are capturing it. See simple thing is - If you have skills, what worst can happen, you might not make 78 but 68. Trust your growth, skills and make use of financial comfort.

FirmDogwood2

Accenture

2 months ago

👌🏻

LooseGoose

Stealth

2 months ago

More common than you think. No one really knows what they're doing, everyone is figuring it out on the go just like you. You're not a fraud, you need to chill. Stop telling yourself that you're fraudulent, it doesn't help. Change your language of self talk, it'll help. Be realistic, not idealistic.

IIm_lad

Infosys

2 months ago

It generally happens when u have high brains to work anywhere but heart is not in the work , so generally people go through identity crisis and feel empty from inside and this point of time it's hard to choose a Different track of course

HeftyTamale3

Stealth

2 months ago

How do you know "it generally happens"?

IIm_lad

Infosys

2 months ago

My own experience

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samosa

Stealth

2 months ago

78 litres of what?

Wecandoit

ICICI Bank

2 months ago

78 litres of brain juice

UP_32

TCS

2 months ago

😂😂

Malexistensialcrisis

Startup

2 months ago

Bhai classic imposter syndrome I am sense from this, if you feel like you are fooling people just keep on fooling people, 80L se 1.5 CR pe jao and paisa kamo

DudeBrahma

Stealth

2 months ago

@PunyBlame a lot of stuff you said is something I also have gone through. Eventually took some therapy to realise that the “imposter syndrome” is deep rooted due to childhood experiences. What you’re craving essentially is external validation and acceptance at an emotional level in a professional sphere. In my case, parental validation and acceptance was so scarce in personal space that I felt like an imposter when I was getting that in the professional domain. So @PunyBlame , enjoy your run. You deserve every bit of it. And just thank the universe.

CaptEntropy

Startup

2 months ago

Paisa hame de do, you won't feel like an imposter anymore

Grim

Student

2 months ago

I've seen this before and I empathise with you. You're not drinking enough. How many beers are you doing a week? My guess is you're doing rookie numbers meant for wannabe rappers in their early 20s

thedoctor

Stealth

2 months ago

Bro I think you should take a break or go on a small vacation, increase some family time, connect with childhood friends who will keep you rooted and its okay to feel low even when thriving this is a sign of growing but for your mental health you should also try to practice something you like apart from job and don't pressure your self much everything will be here and we'll be gone, don't stress too much chill, don't take anything too seriously

AangSkywalker

Stealth

2 months ago

1. Imposter syndrome is real, common and happens to the best of us. But it can be deal with, lot of resources out there. 2. Focus on building a great relationship with yourself. Be your own friend first. Have faith in yourself. The fact that you've achieved this much and are being recognised by everyone else around you says something. Take that as a worthy data point. 3. Try and build a self belief and self confidence which says 'Whatever happens, and whatever comes my way, we'll figure it out.' We includes the inner you that's always there for yourself. 4. Get into philosophy. Any philosophy, spirituality. My go-to is Stoicism for its rational and practical wisdom which can be applied in daily life. 5. Practice gratitude: Life is precious, not everyone is privileged or lucky enough to get what they want out of life. If you find that you're doing better than most people out there, embrace that, cherish that and be really grateful for that - for everyone and everything that led you to this point. 6. Life is about conquering your fears - Face them, be brave and stand up to them. Practice taking your fears head on and working your way through them. If you feel like you don't know something that you're being asked of, be honest, own up and say that I'll find out and come back to solve this again. It is a process, but fears can be broken down into chunks and be fought off over time. 7. Accept that there are things beyond your control and there's no point worrying about them. Make productive use of the time given to you, things under your control to learn and grow as a person. Anything that happens outside of it, just learn to accept it as a reality and move ahead. 8. Have at least one true friend with whom you can be as open and vulnerable as you can. Expressing your feelings and sharing emotions makes it easier to process them.

InsaneHours

Samsung

2 months ago

I want to empathise with you, but I can’t feel what you’re going through. I work on a 8 LPA job and constantly feel like I can manage to get a better job and earn better . I interviewed for google, Amazon, adobe in 2022 when I passed out, and I made it to Samsung (SIEL) and the I constantly feel like I should be paid more for this job . I am trying to make a switch, but I am unable to get interviews as of now. So, can you please refer me to your organisation? I am from a tier 3 college and I thought working at Samsung would open a lot of doors for me but that’s not the case.

WorthlessConsumer

2 months ago

Why do I feel you're portraying me? Just not the package