van_hohenheim
van_hohenheim

Feeling frustrated and lost in life.

I am 28 M.

I was born in a poor family and to make matters worse my father was diagnosed with a terminal illness when I was still in college.

As if watching my father dying was not enough I came to know that my mother was having an affair with my father's friend. I never caught them but I saw their whatsapp messages.

My father eventually succumbed to his illness leaving the family responsibilities on my shoulders.

I never got to enjoy college. My first paycheck was spent on the medical bills and subsequent paychecks were spent on clearing my brother's education loan, paying back relatives (we borrowed some money for my father's treatment) and just taking care of my family.

I want to get married but honestly I don't have any money for it now and I don't want to take a loan.

I never had any relationship. It could never become a priority.

And it's not about just sex. It's something deeper. Maybe intimacy, maybe human touch, maybe something else. I don't know.

I tried hard to focus on my work and hobbies but It merely proved to be a temporary escape.

I don't even know why I am narrating all this to a bunch of strangers but then again aren't we all in the same boat at the end?

2mo ago3.9K views
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