Grapevine
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SwirlyTaco

Feeling frustrated and lost in life.

I am 28 M.

I was born in a poor family and to make matters worse my father was diagnosed with a terminal illness when I was still in college.

As if watching my father dying was not enough I came to know that my mother was having an affair with my father's friend. I never caught them but I saw their whatsapp messages.

My father eventually succumbed to his illness leaving the family responsibilities on my shoulders.

I never got to enjoy college. My first paycheck was spent on the medical bills and subsequent paychecks were spent on clearing my brother's education loan, paying back relatives (we borrowed some money for my father's treatment) and just taking care of my family.

I want to get married but honestly I don't have any money for it now and I don't want to take a loan.

I never had any relationship. It could never become a priority.

And it's not about just sex. It's something deeper. Maybe intimacy, maybe human touch, maybe something else. I don't know.

I tried hard to focus on my work and hobbies but It merely proved to be a temporary escape.

I don't even know why I am narrating all this to a bunch of strangers but then again aren't we all in the same boat at the end?

3mo ago
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WobblyCupcake
WobblyCupcake
Credit Suisse Group3mo

Feel sorry for you bro. I cannot imagine losing your father mean, you have seen the worst. Forgive your mother and move on from those sad chapters, you have build everything till now, you are doing great, keep going, find someone to make friends with and then see how the relationship goes, fail fast and move on to another. You have time, you can still save for a decent wedding. 32M here, born into poor family, had to repay debt taken for sister's marriage, bought home and now saving for marriage meanwhile searching for my partner. I remember I got my first salary 19k and out of which 12k I paid the outstanding electricity bill. Struggles make us stronger and mature, you have been through it, now focus on good things in life, now your main life starts. Good luck

DerpyCoconut
DerpyCoconut
EY3mo

Life is not fair bro. I lost my mom in covid. My brother and father both are sick due to deep health concerns. But i m also fighting with daily challenges. Trust god and everything will fall into place

BouncyWalrus
BouncyWalrus
BlackRock3mo

Arre ham he na Bhai, baaki mehanat kro ladki mil jayegi bhot Sundar, yes your pain is real. Meri baat maano aatma k alawa sb material he sb kuch khareed skte ho. Bs pesa hona chahiye uske liye mehnat lagegi.
Sbse important: time pe so jao.

PerkyWalrus
PerkyWalrus
Deloitte3mo

You have us bro Feel free to talk to us anytime

ZippyMochi
ZippyMochi
Stealth3mo

Finding a partner or a relationship isn't that big a challenge. But finding someone that's right for you, who is as mature as you are and has similar priorities in life, that's rare and difficult.

Fact of the matter is women love conditionally more often than not. You'll almost never find a woman willing to date or marry jobless guys for example. You don't want to trust a partner more than you can afford to, can lead to very bad heart breaks.

Don't think about marriage, find a good partner first. And for that, build yourself up first. Become mentally and physically resilient. Relationships bring their own tests, gotta be ready for them. Start with being friends with women. Everything else later.

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