29F, I still stay with my parents Working, earning >1lpm, remote work
Over the years, I have realised I own no assets. Everything has been bought by parents EVERYTHING My mom would always make sure she or dad paid, saying you can keep your money for yourself (which I initially thought was very sweet) Now I see how I am dependent on them for all
What ever I have bought can be put into a polythene bag and that's all my life (I generally spend on food and stuff that goes away) I have bought certain items for family or the house, but that isn't mine obviously
I need to get out of the house, my mental health is at the edge
get out, experience the world, and then you will realise there nothing better than home.
I was in somewhat same situation as yours, I have a very controlling dad. in my 12th I had made my mind to do b.tech from a very far away college from a different state. then stayed away many years in different cities for job. I now realise the importance of being at home with family. when we grow up our parents grow too. we(dad n me) are now best friends. we drinked for the first time together last year and that was a very special moment for me.
Get out where? On the road?
Now I get it why they don't let you buy anything. I feel stupid.
Owning stuff is alright but not that important. You shouldn't attach your mental health or your self worth to what you own. It's not going to go well.
You dont have to spend to build assets. You can invest in Equity or MF and they are assets too.
I come from a conservative family too.. I did my MBA from a far off college tooā¦ my parents frown upon fashion stuff, lipsticks..and they have already lived their life so it is hard to change their beliefs so after college I shifted all my stylish clothes to a friend.. i rented a apartment and I live my lifeā¦ visit my parents often.. I donāt have any savings.. I enjoy travelling..20 countries till date..I think you yourself are not convinced to move out .. atleast I was before and I used to make justified excuses but I got to a point where I am done.. I only have one life like my parents too and I cannot live like what they expect me to.. I have lived like that for more than a quarter of my life and I donāt want to regret at 50 that I couldnāt do anything for myself.. so you should decide and stick to it.. also itās gonna be difficult at first.. I am a single child and I have been pampered a lot.. dreadful but I did it.. and so could you
Gosh this gives me so much inspiration Yes, the comfort of home food and water, no bills is addictive and maybe I have been gving excuses to myself
I have started travelling since mid last year, but then those also get lot of eyeballs How when why where etc
Obviously all eyes would be on you because they are seeing what they arenāt used toā¦ if that is stopping youā¦ think of taking baby stepsā¦ mention you are going to conference or marriage or travelling with your girlfriends ā¦ and slowly increase the frequency.. or try taking your family to a different place which wonāt horrify them but little different than your usual place..I am sure you are smartā¦ just write all your ifās and butās on a paper and then read all the butsā and see how many are actually excuses because of āwhat would others thinkā and how comfortable you are in stricking some of your butsā in the end if stricken ones > non-stricken ones.. you should book your next trip
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It does sound selfish, and probably is, too.
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