29F, I still stay with my parents Working, earning >1lpm, remote work
Over the years, I have realised I own no assets. Everything has been bought by parents EVERYTHING My mom would always make sure she or dad paid, saying you can keep your money for yourself (which I initially thought was very sweet) Now I see how I am dependent on them for all
What ever I have bought can be put into a polythene bag and that's all my life (I generally spend on food and stuff that goes away) I have bought certain items for family or the house, but that isn't mine obviously
I need to get out of the house, my mental health is at the edge
get out, experience the world, and then you will realise there nothing better than home.
I was in somewhat same situation as yours, I have a very controlling dad. in my 12th I had made my mind to do b.tech from a very far away college from a different state. then stayed away many years in different cities for job. I now realise the importance of being at home with family. when we grow up our parents grow too. we(dad n me) are now best friends. we drinked for the first time together last year and that was a very special moment for me.
Owning stuff is alright but not that important. You shouldn't attach your mental health or your self worth to what you own. It's not going to go well.
You dont have to spend to build assets. You can invest in Equity or MF and they are assets too.
I come from a conservative family too.. I did my MBA from a far off college too… my parents frown upon fashion stuff, lipsticks..and they have already lived their life so it is hard to change their beliefs so after college I shifted all my stylish clothes to a friend.. i rented a apartment and I live my life… visit my parents often.. I don’t have any savings.. I enjoy travelling..20 countries till date..I think you yourself are not convinced to move out .. atleast I was before and I used to make justified excuses but I got to a point where I am done.. I only have one life like my parents too and I cannot live like what they expect me to.. I have lived like that for more than a quarter of my life and I don’t want to regret at 50 that I couldn’t do anything for myself.. so you should decide and stick to it.. also it’s gonna be difficult at first.. I am a single child and I have been pampered a lot.. dreadful but I did it.. and so could you
Gosh this gives me so much inspiration Yes, the comfort of home food and water, no bills is addictive and maybe I have been gving excuses to myself
I have started travelling since mid last year, but then those also get lot of eyeballs How when why where etc
Obviously all eyes would be on you because they are seeing what they aren’t used to… if that is stopping you… think of taking baby steps… mention you are going to conference or marriage or travelling with your girlfriends … and slowly increase the frequency.. or try taking your family to a different place which won’t horrify them but little different than your usual place..I am sure you are smart… just write all your if’s and but’s on a paper and then read all the buts’ and see how many are actually excuses because of “what would others think” and how comfortable you are in stricking some of your buts’ in the end if stricken ones > non-stricken ones.. you should book your next trip
Have you had the conversation with your parents? Do you have any siblings?
“I own no assets”? I thought your parents are taking all your money but then I read on to find that they are not!! So if you are having all your money with yourself, aren’t you having lots of “assets” in terms of money saved?
I mean what do you mean by “assets”? Do you want to stay alone so as to buy a flat? Or do you want to buy a Car? Or what assets you are talking about?
If it is just the more liberated experience you are talking about, i.e. living on your own, experience world on your own, then I am not sure how does it link to “assets”!
Nothing that I use in life - clothes, phone, laptop, hairband, lipstick, slippers Not bought any
If I leave house today, I cannot take anything with me
Oh weird, so have they banned you from ordering these things from online stores? Are they too middle class who hates any kind of fashion stuffs?
May be rent a room somewhere in the same city as parents. Individual space is very important, not just physically but mentally too. You can visit parents as needed. There would be some inertia both from your parents as well as your own end initially around moving out. But do try it.
Thats absolute BS and could affect her relationship with her parents. Leave your hometown
@UsefulBourgeoisie Yea, I just don't want to be disrespectful
@UntriedCape I have thought over this, did even search for house. But you know how "society" will portray this whole scenario, just too bad for parents than me
From all the savage responses you gave to people giving you advice( you asked for it!), It looks like you are an arrogant wannabe independent woman who is actually too afraid to leave her cocoon built by parents. You know with independence comes lot of responsibilities. Stop wasting time here if you are not liking what other are suggesting and just get out. You can have good life with your 1L pm salary.
Suggesting marriage or go out on road?
I have lived 6 years away from house, so responsibilities I have handled enough. And if you think I am too arrogant to listen to advices, don't give one. Irony isn’t it 😂
I assumed you are intelligent enough to understand what go out means here. But anyway. I agree with your mental health wala statement.
Well, I had a similar situation. I left home and came to Bangalore when I was on edge. Since my job was remote, I told my parents this : I'm going out to grow my career, since I'm unable to grow it sitting here.
What?! How did your parents react? No emotional drama?
My father did counter, saying that it's pointless to go out when you have a remote job, but I told him that to advance and build the right network, I must move out. Somehow, as shocking as I found it, he understood and didn't hold me back.
I'm 26 and still living with my parents. I help out at home and work whenever I can. Rent is too high right now, so it'll be a few years before I can move out. It feels more common these days. What do you think, what should I do?
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