I see a lot of girls today have this condition of not staying with in-laws after marriage. I want to know the opinion of both genders on this. As I myself donāt understand what difference it makes. š«
I'm a guy.I kind of don't like the idea of staying at the same house with parents after marriage.
It does make a difference.I'm not married yet, but I know how Indian parents try to get involved in everything. For example, once my father said we are a very small family, after you get married, have 3 4 kids,he said in a funny way, but I didn't like it. I was like, "Excuse me, you don't tell me what to do."
This is just an example. I'm not even married yet. I've seen many like this right from naming the kid ,no of kids,their schooling, the food etc, in everything they try to control or have some influence which will be annoying ,even more if you stay in the same house. So I'm against the idea of staying in the same house with parents post marriage.
I'm not married but I ain't leaving my house and my mum's parathas just to live alone with the wife.
I canāt compromise on this. I wonāt leave my parents. Iām the only son and they need me in their old age. So I canāt leave them.
Here is my suggestion: although Iām 25 M and unmarried. I would say never ask/take suggestions from 3rd party regarding your married life. Sit with your partner and decide and take out the middle way. Never include 3rd party.
If the girl is working , they'd still expect her to give her 90% in the kitchen & care taking home every minute thing after coming back from the office and whenever ...that becomes a frustration hence the decision. That's what I observed closely
See i believe in marriage, as now became the part of the family now you are not only associated with the guy himself his parents also becomes your like your parents, each female should give love respect and care to her in-laws. If they in some cases not being okay with your certain things just talk n make clarity but not living with them in their most stage of lives old age is not justified thinking...even for boys also give equally importance to your in-laws and your spouse..but nowadays in the name of modernisation people generally don't want to be with their elder generation..I feel pitty sometimes whenever I hear such instances..what we can say every one has their choice now
šÆ agree, the trend of old parents living and dying alone is slowly rising in India, old age home or caretaker taking care of parents because either they are abroad or they donāt want to stay together
If you are guy and your mom can be her friend I donāt think they will have issues, but mom being mom in most cases things take a different turn, couples are just trying to avoid that stress in a already stressful world
Simple rule- don't marry the person who wont live with the parents. I mean both genders. If the man lives in the place of the in-laws, then he should move in there(this is unlikely, the Inlaws themselves would not prefer). If the man's parent live in the same place, then the woman should move in. Any woman who says that is a fool. That woman thinks short term or probably brain washed by liberal nonsense.
Having a elder is the house is a blessing.
Just as guys have conditions of expecting and making the girl will leave her family, house, many times city and job to move to their home. Many times she wonāt even be allowed to continue wearing what she has been her entire life - shorts , dresses for example - some even go as far as not allowing to wear certain colours upto 1 year of marriage, as per the in laws choice.
If a girl doesnāt wanna stay with in laws and has mentioned that upfront, sheās clear about her expectations. All families are different so there is no one correct answer that anyone can give here. It will be best for all to stop asking such generalised one-sided questions on a job platform!
Sorry didi/bhaiya š„ŗ
Iām 26 M (single) but do think of such scenarios because i might have to face this, so hereās my point on this after reading lot of patriarchal (and extreme feminist ) views.
Not wanting to live can be a choice, but is it a better choice? I see a lot of parents helping their working kids in household work, and managing the grand children. This is a huge help. Obviously living with older gen can be a problem when they are too much into their childrenās business but I believe now people are more mature than before (atleast in my case who themselves donāt want to live in the same house as me). Ideally, buy a place nearby so that you can visit them daily or ask both the parents to move near you (both husband and wife).
Thinking of Leaving your parents at this age when they need you the most isnāt something we indians are known for :)
I ain't leaving my mom, who's gonna lift groceries for her
Saw a couple of posts on X claiming (read boasting) Indiaās divorce rate as 1%. If we believe this to be true, I think this is majorly because of the show-off nature of the society. Almost every marriage Iāve known about in last 5 years ...
Stopped reading at "adjustments on the girl's end" š³
The vision of working from scratch to build wealth has made so many families be in middle class Dowry also pushed families from wealthy to working class Raising kids as frustrated, tired individuals - Such a shitty arrangement imo
Grapeviners, can you, with all honesty convince a non-believer like me into getting married and having children. If you do, my parents will send a million blessings your way.
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