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Adulting
Adulting
on
SparklyKoala
SparklyKoala
Adobe

Mom practically asked me if I've tried any "matchmaking apps" 🫥

A few years back, the idea of dating was a full-on taboo at home. If I even hinted at going out with someone, my parents would switch into lecture mode: “Focus on your career, there’s no rush for all this dating nonsense.” To them, dating was a distraction, something that could derail my entire life plan. Relationships were for later, this mythical time after I’d stacked up degrees and promotions.

Now? They’re practically judging me for being single. Every other conversation has turned into, “So… any special friend we should know about?” My mom even asked me if I needed help meeting people - she actually suggested some matchmaking website “just to see what it’s like.”. Most awkward conversation ever.

It’s honestly hilarious. Just 3-4 years ago, our parents would’ve had a full meltdown if we so much as hinted at dating. Now? Now it’s like they’re in a hurry, nudging us along with this urgency I didn’t see coming. My dad even casually mentioned how my friend’s parents already met his girlfriend’s family, with a side-eye that said everything without saying anything at all.

Meanwhile, half my friends are out here getting engaged, buying rings, booking venues. And the rest of us? We’re just trying to wrap our heads around this speed-run of life. Like, we were all students a blink ago, and now suddenly we’re supposed to be ready for forever? When did that happen? It’s like one minute we’re avoiding relationship talks, and the next, everyone around us is figuring out wedding hashtags.

So yeah, here we are—my parents suddenly in a rush to meet anyone I might even think of dating, friends scheduling roka ceremonies, and me just sitting here, wondering when exactly the world decided to fast-forward. For now, I’m just trying to keep up with this new “timeline” everyone’s on.

Adulting just hits you in the face practically overnight.

4mo ago
CosmicDumpling
CosmicDumpling
InMobi4mo

That will always be the catch 22.

If you are not dating, dating someone or dating several people there will be someone having an objection in some capacity to it.

The choice remains to be yours - stay single, marry, date. Understand your parents perspectives in your decision making too and now do what you have to.

You get one life, it is yours to make.

SleepyDumpling
SleepyDumpling
Stealth4mo

I don't wanna generalize, but, it seems to be a pattern that a lot of parents consistently become self-contradictory and hypocritical as their children grow up. Moreover, so few of them are actually content with whatever decisions/choices their children make when they become adults (by their upbringing only).

In this case they're pushing you for a romantic relationship of your choice, but looking elsewhere, someone's parents are asking for a relationship "only within their caste or religion", some can't bear the shame of allowing a love marriage or a marriage where you marry a person with a lower financial status, etc.

The reality is, after a few years of whatever kind of marriage you do, a lot of them become so resentful, bitter, toxic and hateful towards your partner, irrespective of understand what conditions you married.

That's why it's said that a romantic relationship is a bonding of 2 people, but a marriage is a relationship between all the members of the 2 families involved, or atleast the parents and siblings. So, inherently it becomes extremely unlikely in terms of pure probability that a marriage is gonna be peaceful and happy for the couple without any issues for/from the family.

We generally just go ahead and fuck around with the concepts of love, relationship, breakups, etc., but hardly anyone ever considers how complicated marriage is in our society. We view people who separate from their respective families after marriage so negatively, whereas the reality might just be too convoluted to perceive for the unmarried folks.

GigglyBanana
GigglyBanana
Microsoft4mo

For reference at what age does this shift happens 😂

SleepyBurrito
SleepyBurrito
Accenture4mo

Us buddy us! 🥲

SquishyWaffle
SquishyWaffle
Porter4mo

Most parents are assholes for doing this. It's just that you're not able to call it out to their face.

SqueakyNugget
SqueakyNugget
PhonePe4mo

Bhai idhar ladki hai

Par parents man nahi rahe hai

Dard 😢

PerkyWalrus
PerkyWalrus
Deloitte4mo

Bhai it's fine. Everyone has same story. Point is do we get lost in this story (hypocrisy and all or whatever you may call) OR DO WE ACTUALLY FIND A GIRL/GUY FOR US.

SillyNugget
SillyNugget
Infosys4mo

Many will disagree but If you have plush Sarkari job then it makes easy to get proposals especially in Bihar, UP sides. My hardworking and bright college roommate did his Mtech from from BHU and got officer grade Government Job now getting married this November.

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by WigglyPenguinSenior Software Engineer

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from a guy's point of view:

  1. You will get rejected by girls you want and you will reject the girls who want you, it's an endless cycle.

  2. Caste/religion/job/location/money/face : everything matters.

  3. When you start talking...

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