I used to live with my grandparents (baba and dadi), uncle (chacha), and aunt (chachi). My parents (papa and mummy) lived in the village. As I grew up and started studying, I stayed in the city for better education. I am the elder of two brothers. My grandparents loved me a lot. They were a bit strict but very caring. My uncle was fine, not too bad. However, my aunt didn’t like me staying with them and treated me differently.
Then I reached the 10th grade, where I scored a 9.2 CGPA. Around that time, I fell in love with a girl and, for her, changed schools. But in the 11th and 12th grades, I didn’t study much, and my 12th-grade result was only 58%. After that, I decided to prepare for IIT and went to Kota. I also retook my 12th exams. When the results came, I didn’t clear IIT, and in the retake of my 12th exams, I scored 61%. I decided to take another year to prepare, but even then, I couldn’t get into IIT. Instead, I got admission to JIIT, Sector 62, for an Integrated B.Tech-M.Tech course.
The college was good, but I reconnected with some old school friends and started smoking weed. I got so addicted that I would smoke it first thing in the morning and even before sleeping. In my first year, I failed both semesters. The same happened in the second year. Eventually, I dropped out of the B.Tech course in 2016.
I came back home and stopped going out. I would stay indoors all day, doing nothing but sleeping. My aunt's behavior worsened, and she started saying even more hurtful things. My family didn’t know about my weed addiction, but they were aware I had dropped out of college.
By 2017, I got a job in US IT Staffing with a salary of ₹12,000 per month. I had zero confidence at that time. So much money had already been wasted on Kota and my college fees. And here I was, starting a job for ₹12,000. It was a night shift job. From 2017 to 2020, my salary grew to ₹50,000 per month, and I gained some confidence. However, during this time, I started drinking alcohol, although I had quit weed after dropping out of college.
In 2020, when COVID hit, I lost my job. Luckily, I found another one with a salary of ₹45,000. But in December 2020, my uncle was murdered. Six months later, my aunt filed a case against my father, mother, grandmother, younger brother, and me, claiming that we had conspired to murder him. In 2021, my father was sent to jail, and my mother had to move around to avoid getting arrested. My grandmother, younger brother, and I stayed in Lucknow.
During this time, my aunt used to fight daily, hurling extremely abusive words at us—so bad that they would make your ears bleed. Despite all this, I kept working and eventually reached a salary of ₹80,000 per month. In 2021, I got a remote job at a foreign company with a salary of $3,500 per month. But at home, things worsened. My aunt's people would visit us daily to abuse us. In our own six-room house, we were forced to live in just two rooms. We didn’t even have a single spoon in the kitchen. Slowly, I bought everything—TV, fridge, inverter,AC and all the kitchen essentials.
In 2022, my father was granted bail. Me and my family was freed from the charges. My younger brother was still studying, and I was managing all the expenses—household, court cases, and lawyer fees.
Meanwhile, in 2021, I fell in love again with a highly qualified girl who was doing her M.Tech in Ireland. She also loved me, but in May 2022, three months before my father’s bail, she ended the relationship. She said that my father wouldn’t get bail because it was a murder case and that my entire family would eventually go to jail.
This completely broke me. Even though I continued working, I was shattered mentally and started drinking heavily. By 2023, my drinking reduced a bit. Currently, I have a new job i.e remote also, the salary is —$4,800 per month. I’ve spent ₹15 lakhs to buy a car for my father, ₹14-15 lakhs for constructing a house in the village, and ₹90,000 to buy a bike for my brother. I will also be completing my Distance BCA in July'25.
After going through so much in life, I’m now 29 years old. But sometimes, I feel like I haven’t achieved anything. If I had completed my B.Tech, life would have been much better today. Sometimes, even though none of my friends earn as much as I do, I still feel like I’m a failure.
This is my story.