My parents trained me properly, I don't care how harsh someone gets with criticism. I just remind myself, my mother could do better than that

@Dangerman seriously harsh behaviou of parents hurt more then anything.

Software Developer

Systems Engineer

Depends on who is the one scolding and do I respect him/her and value their criticism

Software Test- QA

If I am guilty I will say sorry and will take a note to not repeat it in future. 
  
 Otherwise if my senior is saying something to me  I will take it as constructive criticism and take feedback from it otherwise  
  
 Ek kaan mein dalo dusre kaan se nikalo . Life is too short to hold grudges😂.

Operations Manager

It will save you a lot of mental stress if you can adopt the 'don't care' attitude.  
  
 That being said, you should be open to learning and fixing your weaknesses, rather than saying 'don't care' even when you are in the wrong.

Software Engineer

It quite much depends on how and for what they are scolding. If it's for a relevant reason, I try to think about it, or if I feel it's irrelevant, I try to counter them then and there, and it doesn't work, I just go away. 
  
 Scolding actually hurts much when some loved one or someone I know well and had trust upon, scolds me in front of others, especially if I feel the reason is irrelevant.

Feel bad initially, then it depends on person whom i got scolded like if it is my manager or some colleague then I say  "Maa Chudai Ye banda" ( in my mind) and move on, If there is any good thing in that then I take the good points and start working on it and if there is nothing like that i ignore it completely say Maa chudai chutiya hai

Cloud Engineer

If you respect that person you take that scolding positively and improve and if you don't, you just move on... Getting hurt doesn't come anywhere..

External Audit

Either you should not care or raise ur voice higher that their. They will just shut up

Frontend Engineer

Associate consultant

Thanks to my parents and teachers, I'm numb to all shouting screaming yelling scolding beating.

Data engineer

stay silent, listen to the voice behind their scolds. Sometimes scolding is a cry for help.

Bhai, except parents and teachers rest sabko reverse de dena...

Senior Manager

Guys how do u feel when someone scolds you harshly

Gets hurt

Don't care

🙂

🙂- Grapevine

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

Im not proud of this. But i was slacking off my work by working on a single feature the whole week. I could’ve finished the development part in 3 days. But i was not having motivation to work. Rather i was spending my time playing xbox 😑

Slacked work for whole week

Welcome to Data Scientists's Private Community

I have been working in HSBC GSC HYD for more than a year and as this journey comes to an end now, I would like to share my experience with you all. 
The first thing that comes in our mind while joining any new company is about their workplace environment and their HR policies. 

There have been quite a few incidents that happened during the last one year which I neglected thinking "Isn't this what corporate life feels like?" I neglected everything to the point where it became unbearable for me and made me go through some serious mental health issues and panic attacks. 

The most recent incident that I would like to share with you all is when I was ethnically humiliated by one of my colleague.

The incident happened on 22 April 2024 when I was subjected to ethnically insensitive remarks by my colleague AA. The exacts words which was used by him is 'EK CHAMAAT MAARENGE, BIHAR PAHUCH JAOGI' which exactly means - I will slap you so hard, you will go back to Bihar. 

I did follow the protocol and informed my manager AT about the whole incident but nothing came out of it, except for a team meeting where I was told that my colleague did not physically assault me, it was just a hatred comment which I can let go of. 

I reached out to the concerned HR team and filed a POSH Complaint for the same, after weeks of the incident, on 3 May, I received an email from the HR team to give feedback for the same without any updates on what action was taken. 

I did let go of everything thinking that anyways I will be leaving the office soon as I am currently in my notice period when another incident happened. 

I was on a smoke break when VKR, AMO from the UK CDD team approached me and made objectifying remarks on me. The comment he made was 'Tmhare jaisi ladki hum aaj tk ni dekhe hai, akele pura UK team ka naam kharab kr k rkhi hai.' which means - He has never seen a girl like me, I have ruined the name of their team. I did ask him the reason for saying such things to which he replied 'tmhare alawa kisi UK team ki ladki ko hm ni dkhe hai cigarette pite huye' which means - he has never seen any girl from the UK team smoking cigarettes. Later while going back inside the office, I saw him eating tobacco and spitting on the wall inside the office premises. 

My LWD is 13 June 2024 and I hope this post reaches to everyone who are currently working in HSBC and to the people who are planning on joining HSBC GSC HYD before I leave. 

Source: https://www.linkedin.com/posts/nitika-kumari-10996b182_workplacewellness-positiveworkculture-employeewellbeing-activity-7202948416249753601-P9mK?

Workplace Toxicity at HSBC

Product Manager

Welcome to IT Company Discussion's Private Community

Hello folks,

A bit of a background about me:
Left a stable core PSU job to join tech consulting services of a consulting-cum-IT firm due to less learning and growth opportunities in PSU

Skip to present:
- Seniors with experience of 2 years or more in the team talk about tasks on a very high-level and distribute interesting tasks among themselves, shutting the door for me to do some interesting stuff
- Seniors are expecting me to perform exceedingly ( due to decent past academic background I guess) without doing much KT sessions and hand-holding.
- Seniors reprimanding me harshly (tbh this feels like bullying) for every tiny mistake and ultimately this is bringing my self confidence to the floor, trapping me in a vicious circle 
- Trying to learn from my mistakes and not to repeat them often, few concepts are tough to understand so I ask them twice or thrice but they always tell me not to ask the same question twice
- In a very sad mental state, rethinking my decision to quit a dignified stable job to serve like a slave for a bigtech client

Would seek your opinions on how I should adapt better or should I even do so?

Fresher feeling bad. Help him.

Welcome to Software Engineers's Private Community

Genuine question. No hate. I've seen a lot of people from particular colleges, treating others like they're nothing. We respect your hustle of getting into a college a lot of people can't . But can you chill out now???

Why are IITians so entitled and fragile about this tag??

Content Strategist

I understand that most of the tech community is men, and probably in this community as well.
But some of y'all just make me lose hope, in seeing how pathetic your thought processes are.

Women don't need to work cause India's GDP doesn't demand so? Excuse me? 
Have you heard of financial independence. Some of us want that.

The next thing is diversity hiring. 
Diversity hiring is needed because of regressive thought processes like these that discourage and inhibit the progress of women in the workplace. 
Women in general, have to go through a lot more in comparison to men in life. 

Consider an example: You are a guy going to university, you mom does everything for you, you have enough time to study and do everything you want, go out with friends.

Now another girl in your class might be expected to do housework, along with studies.
If she doesn't score well she is threatened to be married off. As a result she only has so much time to study and not do extra curricular activities, while the guy can do all of that just because of the privilege of being male.

This is why the bar of entry is lowered, so that women who are struggling in life, fighting their way through these odds can progess in life.

Even if women who don't have these situations benefit, even if it benefits one person, makes their life better. How does it even bother you?

Instead you want to make thier lives hell by shitting on them as diversity hire. 

Please learn empathy. Learn to respect and understand the struggles of others, regardless of their gender.
Also acknowledge that as a male you have more privileges than women, because we are in a patriarchal society, which is why women need a helping hand sometimes.

Rant: Some of ya'll in this community just really hate women

How to handle a situation if manager humiliates someone in every meeting in front of other team members?

Data scientist

Last Friday I went on a date with a girl from Gurgaon and it was the biggest mistake of my life. I was apprehended by her brother's friend at Ambience Mall. How? We were having a milkshake from Keventer's where some guy randomly pops out and starts enquiring about what we were doing.

The thing escalated and he said he will call police. I got scared. Then he motioned for someone, and that guy started misbehaving with us as well. It was becoming very stressful and I asked , "Tum chahte kya ho?" He was like, "Mhaare doston ko bhi thoda Milkshake Wilkshake pilao bhai." (Get milkshakes from KLeventers for our friends too). I was like, "Huh?" He demanded cash and said that he will get it himself. I gave them all cash I was carrying, some 2500 rupees and ran away. I think the girl was in on it too.

What should I have done?

Regret going on a date with a Haryanvi girl 👫🏻 ...

Dating has become the norm for relationships today, but many don't realize that it's a relatively recent development, prevalent in Western society for only about a century, and it's already causing societal issues.

Previously, Indian arranged marriages were standard (different from forced marriages). Families would arrange meetings between their daughters and another family's sons. If they liked each other, they would soon plan the wedding, marry, have sex, and start families.

Today, individuals are left to find their own partners. If you don't find someone in high school, university, or work, your chances of finding a partner diminish. There's also less incentive for marriage, as sex no longer requires marriage or even dating, leading to more people pursuing sex directly. This has created a skewed dynamic where fewer men pursue women due to competition, turning to porn instead, while women face exploitation by men who have abundant choices.

Ultimately, near 28-30 both genders rush to the arranged marriage system to get them a partner while having their feet dipped on dating apps.

In the US,
This has lead to decreased marriage rates and, consequently, lower birth rates since most births occur within marriages. A decline in families results in a decreased population, putting more pressure on younger generations to support an aging population. Western nations, therefore, rely heavily on immigration, causing additional challenges. Increased single motherhood also correlates with higher crime rates, drug use, loneliness, mental health issues, and suicides

P.S. I'm young and dating too. Just thoughts for a conversation on what the implications of dating for us as a society could be.

Dating has failed Americans, now it will fail Indians too

Share your list. But Only unmarried women

We did a men survey with huge response rate
: https://grapevine.in/post/808462ef-8ae0-4269-aaa3-c683ba1194bb

Women your turn, what is that you seek in your to-be spouse?

Consultant

My manager dropped my new iphone 15 pro 😔

He asked he’d pay for it but it’ll take 26,990 for repair.
How this’ll change me relationship with him 😔

Iphone 15 pro and manager

Growth Manager

I remember visiting a married friend who has a 4-year-old. We were casually sitting and chatting when that little monster dived to get her father's phone and started running. The father politely asked her to give it back (new phone things, which I can relate to), he kept pleading, trying different names. 
My friend and I were laughing because it seemed cute.

Out of the blue, he shouts so loud that we froze. 
The little girl stopped, she was so scared that she peed right there and started crying. 
The father took the phone and stomped into his bedroom.

It took me a little time to understand what happened, though the mother was fast enough to react and console the child. But this really scarred me. I don't know what's right and wrong here. The kid shouldn't be running like that, but neither should a kid be subjected to such fear.

Ever encountered a situation where someone peed upon being shouted at?

Founder

Indian SDEs on LinkedIn & Twitter are some of the worst engineers you will ever find across the real world. Their typical value lies around:

- Cracking a FAANG/MAANG or Product company.
- Make an announcement on LinkedIn & Twitter and accumulating followers.
- Starting YouTube channel, Topmate links, affiliate marketing channels, and more.
- Rant DSA, System Design, Interview resources all day long. 
- Post daily of their office, their colleagues, candid shots, and barely getting any work done.

While this is expected out of early career professionals, it pains to see senior SDEs doing the same shit over and over again. Things don't end here — Everyone talks about creating a revolution. And the revolution is teaching DSA. 

If you are an experienced SDE and still ranting DSA, it just means that you have barely learnt anything that is of worth any value. You are atmost a "Ticket Engineer". You get assigned a Jira ticket, you bust your ass solving it, and that's it. That's your entire value. 

Its high time that these "Bhaiya", "Didis", "Bhabhis" stop ranting DSA and System Design over and over, and build something of real value. You would barely see any credible open-source projects coming out of India (but hey, we have some many contributors!), barely any Indie dev project, or anything that captures the attention of the world. 

Literally every popular SDE you might follow or see over your social media is the same. Their entire community game is a farce and designed to capture gullible college students and shill thousands of rupees out of them. You might be featured on Times Square ($40 ka showoff), but no one would remember you for anything that you built.

<Rant Over. Peace>

Indian SDEs will do all DSA and System Design chatter but cannot create any real value

I think we all face this, how do you deal with relatives who always try to put you down in every possible way, constantly compare salary, foreign tour, abroad jobs, new car, new home, education institute, vacations , like they are the people who feel happy by making someone hurt or feel bad about themselves. I can't have a comeback because my parents just tell me to bear them for the time being. But sometimes it just piles up and I feel like thrashing them like hulk.

Someone please help me with this. Help me to deal with this, hulk toh ban nahi paunga.

How to deal with taunts of relatives?

Is it just me or is even a job at the best Tech companies just don’t make any sense for women? 

There are always women who have great family support or husbands that are understanding and encouraging. But generally why does it seem like becoming a senior woman in tech even at the best places is sort of unattractive and significantly increases your odds of “failure” outside of work e.g. divorce,having kids late? 

Interested for thoughts from both men and women.

27F Engineer: Software Engineering Not Worth It For Women?

Why do relatives feel that they should always talk about doing things the right way and how do they know what they say is the right way?

Some examples -
- to lose weight, focus on walking and fully come to normal BMI and then only do weight training. But, research suggests weight training to be more beneficial for both weight loss and increasing metabolism
- we should drink hot water to lose weight. What?😂
- get married early and marriage is the only way to go!
- our screen time shouldn't be more with mobile, but rather with tv
- don't use earphones, they damage ears
- Some fruits are beneficial for diabetes

Don't get me wrong, I love relatives. I just don't enjoy someone giving advice when I didn't ask them. Especially when I can't trust their source of information for anything - life advices, religion, shastra,  traditions, women's rights etc.

And, I am really tired fighting battle and tackling so much misinformation about everything. All I do is just listen to them and move on!

Wanted to know what do you guys do?

How do you deal with unsolicited advice of relatives?

I want to share my experience as a fresher at Accenture, my first company from a college placement. The first six months were fine, but then I faced severe mental harassment from my supervisor and manager. She constantly criticized my work and gave negative feedback, causing me immense stress. I often skipped meals and worked weekends to improve, but nothing helped.

Despite reporting the issue and requesting a supervisor change or a different track, my requests were ignored. The harassment worsened, affecting my physical health, and I couldn't eat or sleep properly. My manager controlled trivial aspects like where to sit and whom to talk to, making the situation unbearable. I was even forced to switch from a developer role to a tester, despite being trained as a developer.

The final straw was being placed on a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP) without a clear reason, with the same harassing individuals assessing me. I only had 1.9 years of experience then. I reported the mental harassment to HR and resigned due to deteriorating health, panic attacks, and weight loss. Despite having no other job offer, I couldn't continue. Even during my notice period, I was forced to complete PIP assignments, which led to suicidal thoughts and further health issues.

Now, I am jobless, feeling helpless and frustrated. With less than 2 of experience, I struggle to find offers in a down IT market and don't know what to do next.

My Experience as Fresher with Workplace Harassment and Forced Resignation at Accenture

Welcome to News Discussion's Private Community

#PuneAccident that happened by a 17 year old drunk person driving Porsche

This could have been one of us. Do not ignore what happened. Do not stay silent. Use whatever reach you have. Do not forget this in a week, like we forget everything else. It's us, the honest, hard working people 💔

🙂

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