Life sucks

I’m a very private person and I was a bit confused whether I should write here or not, but anyway. So, day before yesterday I was sitting on my chair after dinner and was thinking about my life and what the hell am I doing. I realised that, Saala bachpan se aaj tak race me hi bhaag raha hun. Pehle school me 1st, 2nd, 3rd aane ki race me. Then acche college milne ki race me. Then uske baad acchi job milne ki race me. Then uske baad agar ladki chahiye toh uske liye bhi ek race hai (Don’t have a gf, plz don’t take me wrong, it was a realisation) My current daily routine is like this: Wakeup everyday, write code, go gym, dinner, and then sleep and repeat this cycle everyday. School ke dost peeche chhoot gaye, college ke dost apni life me busy ho gaye, colleagues se main zyada baat nhi karta and main akela padh gaya. Feels like life is not intriguing anymore, it has no spark left. Its so painful to live everyday. I feel like I don’t want to live any more, I want to die but I can’t cuz of 2 reasons. 1. I’m the only son of my parents. 2. If I die like this, then I won’t be able to come out from the birth cycle. That’s it 🙏🏼

Switch the job to get a better salary Wait for a better increment or switch again, reason? Money, Money, Money (most of the time).... Society pressure is so high that no matter how much you earn, it will not be enough at some point.. You always try to fit into the surroundings.. Why the hell Money is so important, can't we go back to Jungle Life 😁?? Eat fruits, fresh meat , breathe fresh air, wear less clothes, don't shave...

I am working hard on my myself Gym study work sleep Make sure everything is completed on time So that the schedule doesn't mess up But Why? I get a feeling of someone I need To tell everything how my day went Bhai PTA hai mai ugly hoon Theek hai Par yar ek limit hoti hai in thoughts k In my WorkSpace I make sure to keep professional bonds with my team Ghar aata hoon to Kayi bar phone ko dekhta hoon Na h koi call Message Bus office wala phone h hai Jo phone lagta hai PTA nhi ye sab kyu ho rha mere sath Akele marna likha hai Phir bhi dimaag ghumta h hai Dhere Dhere confidence peace self esteem Mar rahe hai These thoughts are winning ..... Mere Ghar par koi nhi hai Na h Bhai behen 1 dost hai wo busy rehta Kayi bar marne ka bhi man karta I close my eyes and cry sometimes Ek normal routine wala Banda is had tak emotionally har chuka hai Kya pap kiya hoga maine

I will keep it short. So I know this guy who goes to the same gym as me, The dude always looked kinda lonely so I would often greet him good morning or howdy, However, I never got a chance to sit and talk to him as he always seemed in a rush, Yesterday, I saw him talking to one of those E-Girls on Instagram in the locker room, you know the ones which offer sexual video calls in exchange of a few thousand rupees, I unintentionally read the chat while he was reaching out for his sipper, And I saw "I dont want to have sex, I just want to talk to a real woman about my mental issues" something While this sounded absurd and funny to me in the first moment of reading it, It left a resounding wave of abyss in me. On how some people could be extremely lonely , and all they need is a hug !!!! While his actions may not be the most mature of all, I do recognize this feeling. Afterall, Duniya mein bohot gamm hai, Apna dukh toh fir bhi kam hai.

Yaar baat karne ko koi chahta hai lekin jaise hi koi milta lagta hai hatao yaar kaun time pass/waste kare🤔 Online to waise bhi kuch hona hai nahi badhiya shaanti se jio lekin loneliness jab aati hai to fir lagta hai ki kaash koi hota……. so much confusion in life yaar

Life update: saans leti hu aur ek nayi musibat samne aa jati hai

And the number of accounts are a jungle out there.

10 years of schooling, studying hard during festivals, sacrificing my playtime, my childhood for marks.. 2 years of high school - Completely cut-off from the world for a good college. 4 years of hard work for a job for a below average salary!!! On the other hand: Some random chai wala earns in lakhs. Some MLM meme girl, living a luxurious lifestyle. Insensible people are valued in society. Even a 12th fail selling beer in his family shop lives a better life. All the hard work I did is in vain? Whatever I did till this point of time was useless? What's the point of an endless struggle, if my destination has more struggle? Something is really wrong.. I have lost all my motivation 😞

for me. i spent college studying for grades and 20s making money in a job I don't like, but never got to make the memories I should've with all my friends. I regret doing all of that

When i was in college i wanted to build my own company/product. Thought of many ideas and tried to build something. None of them worked and it affected my studies so I had to quit just to clear my exams. After college I took placements in a WITCH like company where I got put into data entry/operations job after clearing difficult coding interviews (kismat kharab?). Somehow learnt new technologies on the side and managed to switch to a development role at a lower salary in a startup. After 3 years Worked hard on DSA and (barely) managed to get a good offer with above average pay. But the company is not stable anymore and may layoff at any time. Right now struggling to learn enough DSA to crack any company. Now I am almost 30, i have no hobbies,no talents, no relationships just trying to have a stable career. I see people everywhere doing so many things at once. How do they manage to do this. They are working at FAANG and managing businesses at the same time, have a bunch of friends. What am I doing wrong?