That's the issue with arranged marriages...if you tell your past, your partner gets stuck into the past. If you don't, then afterwards your partner will say why did you hide. 
 Kare to kare kya, bole to bole kya...

Software Lead

Coming from a girl: Its okay if she’s opening up to you but listen carefully what she’s telling if you can’t deal/be okay with it please move on. Sometimes people tend to live in past and it affects overall peace of present.

Operations Manager

People really don't change. Just don't be someone’s plan B

Software Engineer

I guess that's the best way to know more about the Character of the Girl 😂. If she has any bad past and  how she overcame. You can also figure out whether she is lying or not.

Data Scientist

It's perfectly fine. But you should also clearly ask that whether the past is really the past or not. If its past then its fine otherwise this might be an opening for her to insert her past to both of your future.

Software Developer

Is it okay if a girl is telling her past whom you met for an arranged marriage.

Arrange Marriage || Past Discussion

Arrange Marriage || Past Discussion- Grapevine

Fuck , what a waste of weekend.

story -

I am 27 years old and i am not rich enough like grapevine people. I earn 9 LPA and doing remote job. So parents started looking for girl for arrange marriage. So there is program arranged in our caste where boy and girl has to register beforehand. Registration fees is 500 per person and 400 for booklet. So i paid around 1900 and lunch is also included. This program invites all the prospects under one roof and booklet was given. Booklet has all the details of prospects.So registered candidates can have multiple meetings with different people. As you already guessed it this is problem of supply demand. Female candidates are way less and male candidates are way more. We have so many experiences like girl family just outright reject you on the basis where i live. That girl was doing nothing and have done  bcom. Also one girl family rejected us soon as we just sit for a meeting. Reason dad of female earns 4X than my father income. We had some meetings around 5-15 but hardly any positive response. Female family is able to do 20-25 meetings at  minimum and they can have choice whom to reject just on weight factor too. Shitshow out their for arrange marriage. We had a quarrel at home after coming from program that i wore some multicolour tshirt thats why we dont have further meeting. Also my parents are giving me lecture that i should have wore gold chain and bracelet to impress other people. 

another thing in booklet , boys has to mention salary. There is no mandatory thing to mention salary of girl in same booklet. Also girls are given return gift for just attending the function.

fair warning - rant on whole ecosystem of arrange marriage

Searching for my lobster since fckin 5yrs and no results!

-Tried through contacts, turned down
- Shaadi/Jeevansathi : No one is serious and the more options I get the more end up confused. Likewise for the other side.

Although in online I get plethora of options,I end up wasting time and money.

95% of the matches are doing window shopping.

This is way way harder then getting into FAANG.

Some stats of me:

Height:6'2
Age:33
Diet: Vegetarian/Teetotaler

Btw feel free to reach out to me here also  😂

Betterhalf search

Technical Lead

Despite the "modern era" we live in, many of us still find ourselves on the path to arranged marriage—often feeling like it's the only option we have. Speaking from personal experience, I've had my fair share of bizarre encounters. Hearing similar stories from my male and female friends who are also going through this process has provided some comfort, especially knowing that I'm not alone. 
Let's use this comment section to share our experiences—whether they were bad, weird, gut-wrenching, blood-boiling, or even heartbreakingly disappointing

Controversial Arranged Marriage Meet Ups

This happened to a close friend and a roommate of mine. This has a good ending, I swear. My friend got engaged to this girl found by his parents and his extended family. Literally everyone in his family approved of this girl and he was really happy. He was happy because his family did the work, background check and everything and they were so sure of her (or atleast that's what he thought). His parents spent a lot of money on their engagement and both him and his parents refused getting dowry as well.  
  
 1 month before the wedding, some random guy just knocked at my friend's parents house (he was living in different city with us) and claimed he was in love with that girl whom they matched with my friend. And apparently he threatened them as well. When his parents asked her parents about this, they casually brushed it off saying oh yes they both dated but not anymore. We are not letting him see our daughter. Then their precious daughter says She has still been seeing him everyday even after the engagement. And the reason she agreed to this engagement is so it will get stopped and her parents will have no choice to marry her off to that dude (who didn't have the spine to ask her for marriage). His parents immediately cancelled everything. 
  
 My roommate whom I've known for years, used to be a really fun guy and he talked a lot. After this incident he just shut off completely. He just never spoke to anyone and it was obvious he was depressed.  
  
 Around a year later (while his depression only gotten worse) a girl who went to school with him and lived in his neighbourhood expressed interest through her parents. She got to know this story and wanted to talk to him. Since they both were single they decided to get married (still arranged). It's been 3 years since his marriage and he seems to be living happily now. His old self seems to be resurfacing.

Analyst

Consultant

I see a lot of girls today have this condition of not staying with in-laws after marriage. I want to know the opinion of both genders on this. As I myself don’t understand what difference it makes. 🫠

Marriage Stuff

Business Analyst

I have been in love with one girl double side, but now she told it wont happen we are different state and I am (gowda)my parents will kill you we can breakup there is no hope. After this I become emotionally so weak my heart feeling heavy. how can i come out from this pain. How can girls easily start avoiding boys even they loved so much.

Anyone have been in this situation, how you ppls come across this event.

I am tamil boy loving a kanada gowda girl.

Project Engineer

Girl from Jeevansathi.com asking to be physical before marriage.
Is it a red flag?

Arrange Marriage

Dating has become the norm for relationships today, but many don't realize that it's a relatively recent development, prevalent in Western society for only about a century, and it's already causing societal issues.

Previously, Indian arranged marriages were standard (different from forced marriages). Families would arrange meetings between their daughters and another family's sons. If they liked each other, they would soon plan the wedding, marry, have sex, and start families.

Today, individuals are left to find their own partners. If you don't find someone in high school, university, or work, your chances of finding a partner diminish. There's also less incentive for marriage, as sex no longer requires marriage or even dating, leading to more people pursuing sex directly. This has created a skewed dynamic where fewer men pursue women due to competition, turning to porn instead, while women face exploitation by men who have abundant choices.

Ultimately, near 28-30 both genders rush to the arranged marriage system to get them a partner while having their feet dipped on dating apps.

In the US,
This has lead to decreased marriage rates and, consequently, lower birth rates since most births occur within marriages. A decline in families results in a decreased population, putting more pressure on younger generations to support an aging population. Western nations, therefore, rely heavily on immigration, causing additional challenges. Increased single motherhood also correlates with higher crime rates, drug use, loneliness, mental health issues, and suicides

P.S. I'm young and dating too. Just thoughts for a conversation on what the implications of dating for us as a society could be.

Dating has failed Americans, now it will fail Indians too

Your description of arranged marriages is incorrect. You are given the option that if they liked each other get got married - which was not the case in the last generation. Often times the meetings was just formality, and my own mother met father on the day of their engagement. So nope, they didn’t have the choice to see if they liked each other, their parents made that decision for them. 
  
 Now take that into today’s scenario, how many people in this generation will willingly marry someone their parents has chosen, without any say in it? None. Doesn’t matter what their income is. You yourself are dating.. why? You can ask your parents to find someone for you, if you believe their judgment. The issue is that we don’t, and people avoid admitting that cos they don’t wanna be seen as someone who disagrees with their parents. 
  
 People are free to do what they like, arrange, love, dating, single, unmarried, adoption with marriage. Literally their choice. Nothing is ruining anything, in fact the recent situation in our country, where there are no laws upheld for rich, unemployed where 40% IITians aren’t placed, religious division - are more of a concern than a person’s personal choice. My 2 cents 🙌🏻

Senior Designer

Product Manager

I am a 30 M , got married in 2020 and clearly the marriage was not working out. My wife and her mother was always finding ways to control me from the beginning with all the little things and my wife started this drama like with every fight she used to leave the house and stay at her mother’s and not comeback until all the parents gets involved and me asking sorry, one time she left the house because I cooked the curry and had asked her to do roti this turned into a fight and just for that she left the house. And her mother threatened me that she won’t send her daughter back until I ask sorry. There were LOT of these instances and at one point I really got fed up and started standing up for myself, in the last fight she said she won’t come back again and I said please don’t I am also tired of this. After a month she started reaching out to me asking sorry and apologies and all but I had lost all trust in the relationship and I wanted sometime. Even if I let her in her mother would have ruined the relationship again , so I asked her since I have no trust you have to agree on that in future if we get divorced if we have kids the kids stay with me and I won’t pay any alimony. Following this discussion she lodged a fake domestic violence and dowry case against me and my family. And I filed for divorce after I seeing police station and all. I have all the evidence to prove that I am innocent but the court is taking very very long time and now she is asking for for a huge amount only the she will agree for divorce 😣

Worst times for men! Better to be a monster than a hero

This has been dragging from past two years and am done with my life, I can’t date anyone even though am 30 I have maintained myself in a healthy way so that I look a bit younger but because of the case is still going on… I don’t know what to do

I don't know if this is the right forum to ask this question. How common is it to ask extremely personal questions to your potential partner, in an arranged marriage setting, before marriage?
For example, asking for a blood test report indicating tests done for STDs, sexual orientation,medical issues, criminal charges, personal debt, etc? 
One of my good friends(guy) was asked these questions by a woman's parents. He was caught off guard when the lady's parents asked these questions. He answered them though.
I request people who have had similar experiences to share their stories.

Asking Personal Questions before Marriage

Can be a list too. But Only unmarried men

Unmarried men, what is that you seek in your to-be spouse?

A rudimentary understanding of system design and database scaling. Preferably from fintech background. AWS certification and Rust experience is a plus.

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

What’s one advice you’d give to someone who’s starting the arranged marriage process?

Arranged marriage advice

Growth Manager

A friend of mine was dating a girl, convinced his parents to offer marriage. But girl chickened out last minute, married one her father had chosen. This really fucked him up, he was determined to get married anyhow, whom didn't matter. 
1 Yr later, found a girl parents found, got pregnant before first anniversary. Over 3 years, their marriage has seen divorce, domestic violence and 5 star hotel celebrations (oscillated to extremes of good and bad)

I'm seeing another such case.
Office colleagues were dating, he proposed marriage, she declined. He said stuff that shouldn't have been said, she threatened POSH (did not complain officially)
2 months later, he has found someone to marry through arrange marriage route 

Break ups are bad, but half of the problem were you. Instead of working on that, people take it on ego

Rebound marriages are the worst

Welcome to Confessions's Private Community

I am 24F and I have exhausted all my reasons to postpone marriage. Due to failed past relationships I don't know what to look for in the next guy. Basically I pulled every type I wanted and failed epicly. I am not ready to get married at all. Tomorrow the groom's family is visiting my home and I have no idea what to do.But if I say I like him the marriage will happen in 3 months. Any advice on this.

Thoughts on immediate arrange mrg when you are not ready

Hi I’m an above average looking and average height guy. I’ve been looking out for a serious relationship for years now and it really sucks. I mean career wise, I’m doing great. I’ve a stable career with a good car and my own house. Something that women consider for serious relationships turning into a marriage. 

I’m also very religious, super good at heart, loyal, caring basically too good to be true. I’m so loyal that I stop looking at other women even at talking stage. Send flowers randomly etc etc. 

Now the problem is, apparently if you don’t play mind and manipulation games, or basically be toxic, you won’t get a good partner. 

Every woman out there says she’s looking for 90s love and nice guys who care for her etc etc. Then why are people like me single? Not only me i know many men who are good at heart being played by such women. Why are you lying girls?

Why dating sucks these days? (also a Rant)

People over 35 what is one thing you regret from your younger years?

Based on comments Jo career pe focus Kiya use chahiye ladki, aur Jo ladki pe focus Kiya use chahiye career. Grass is always greener on other side.

Product Owner

At what age you guys are thinking for marriage, I'm 27, relative says I passed the age😂

If you wanna go for arrange marriage, get married now, or atleast start looking. It's disgusting but the arranged marriage scene works like a market, and the value tends to drop the closer you're to 30. Options decrease as age goes up. 
  
 If you wanna go for love marriage, find someone you love and chill.

Data engineer

Welcome to Indian Startups's Private Community

I am dating this girl for an arranged marriage setup, we have met multiple times(6-7 times) and almost all the time, i paid for it. She did not even attempt to pay or even ask for it. 

In another instance, she took me to a mud doll shop yesterday and I had no idea she was taking me there. She chose some mud doll which cost 2k and asked me to pay for it. 

It's really putting me off, is it normal or should I call it off???

Arrange Marriage || Past Discussion

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