Consultant

How do i breakup after fixing the love marriage without effecting the family involved   Breakup due to personal reasons

How do i breakup after fixing the love marriage without effecting the family involved 

Breakup due to personal reasons

Breakup suggestions?

Software Engineer

Breakup suggestions?- Grapevine

In relationship with her for almost 4 years. Although relationship is kind of toxic but there're lot of emotional memories. She's bit of abusive when in anger and on the other hand I also made lot of mistake by giving hope & all. It becomes kind of hard for me to handle her anger. Now I trying to fix things up for our future. I tried connecting with lot of my friends & psychologist, but didn't get balanced solution. By balanced solution, I mean both of us should not suffer unfairly and live life peacefully. Both of us come from lower middle class family and both approaching 30. she's not working.

1. I have few responsibility for my family as well. So, one of my friend suggested "to do breakup and not continue because of these family responsibility. If I go with her, then in the end I have to sacrifice one thing in my life (sacrifice means not good future), either my family, her or my career. and not being true to my family responsibilities in future will give me more guilt than breaking up with her. and they told It'll become hard for me with family guilt. In chess, sometime you have to sacrifice queen to win. Also, they asked me to read geeta that duty comes first than anything else. and family didn't make any wrong and deserve the best in future."

2. My judgement around this is kind of messedup right now. Although i understand the logic part of it and completely agree with this. but Emotional part of this is kind of making me feel guilt. that i did very wrong to someone. and Even i understand that it'll be hard/impossible for me carry all these burden in future, still I think lets go with her just that I dont want her to suffer things.

3. Above 2 solution feels very biased to me. In both solution, one of us have to suffer badly. Posting here to get your solution. I know both type of people exist here. Someone will feel more for her and other will prefer family.  

for more context - https://grapevine.in/post/98de98e6-d9fb-48ea-90ce-b05c82214362

Suggestion needed about future

I have been in love with one girl double side, but now she told it wont happen we are different state my parents will kill you we can breakup, I become emotionally so weak my heart feeling heavy. how can i come out from this pain. How can girls easily start avoiding boys even they loved so much.

Need suggestions

Project Engineer

We've been together for 2 months and I just can't take it anymore, she's very invested on me,also very dumb, how do I get out of the relationship in an optimal way.

Break up tips

2 mahine hi hue hai bhai, 1 mahine ka notice serve karle.. abi b time hai , probation period ko poora serve kia to phass jaega 90 days k notice pe...pata chala retain hogya

Product Manager

It’s clear to me that this isn’t good for me. My interaction with the outside world and being in the present is inversely proportional to how much I use IG/smartphone.

IG is obv the strongest drug, but in general want to be more conscious about what I do on my phone, when Inuse it.

Looking for genuine advice. Please help 🙏🏻

People who reduced IG/Smartphone usage, how did you do it?

Simple Shirley, Uninstall 
  
 If required, login from web only 
  
 I've set timers for 19 apps in my phone by digital wellbeing 🤷 
 It'll help in long run

Growth Manager

I'm 21 m. Had a 9 months old relationship with a girl who's 6 months older. It was the best 9 months of my life. We connected on so many levels that I never thought would happen with me at such a young age. 

Recently, she broke up with me. It was not our mistake. Her mother isn't well (from a long time, and I knew that) and her last wish is to see her daughter getting married. 

Forcefully, she had to admit this and told me everything. And told me that we need to end this. 

It's been 3 weeks, and there's minimal contact between us. 

I'm a final year college student, not getting placements, too much pressure from family. I can't think about anything. Feels like all of this is eating me up. We had very secure future plans, but everything is over now. I don't know what to do. 

I try very hard to stay on track, but her thoughts are eating me up. I've started meditation, therapy and everything, but nothing is working the way I thought it would do. 

She was the one that gave me assurance that everything will be fine. Her presence was the most peaceful thing I had, but now, there's nothing. 

Help me, please. 

PS: please don't judge me the way I am. I'm trying to be normal as much as possible but nothing's working.

Need urgent help.

I’m 24M, software engineer. I recently came into the relationship with my old college friend. She is a really good person, but I’m not attracted to her. 

And yes, I came into the relationship to cope from loneliness and don’t want to die alone. Right now, we’re in different cities, so we didn’t have any physical relationship yet. But I have to meet her soon during my home visit. 
How should I convince her just to stay friends? 

She is a very emotional person & she already started planning to meet my mother🥲.

Come out of relationship

Software Developer

29F, I still stay with my parents
Working, earning >1lpm, remote work

Over the years, I have realised I own no assets. 
Everything has been bought by parents EVERYTHING
My mom would always make sure she or dad paid, saying you can keep your money for yourself (which I initially thought was very sweet)
Now I see how I am dependent on them for all

What ever I have bought can be put into a polythene bag and that's all my life (I generally spend on food and stuff that goes away)
I have bought certain items for family or the house, but that isn't mine obviously 

I need to get out of the house, my mental health is at the edge

I want to move out of my parents home

get out, experience the world, and then you will realise there nothing better than home. 
  
 I was in somewhat same situation as yours, I have a very controlling dad. in my 12th I had made my mind to do b.tech from a very far away college from a different state. then stayed away many years in different cities for job. I now realise the importance of being at home with family. when we grow up our parents grow too. we(dad n me) are now best friends. we drinked for the first time together last year and that was a very special moment for me.

Founder

Welcome to Confessions's Private Community

So i am writing this post reaching out to the world of men for help. So as we all know that as a man we are pressured to get married and start a family as soon as we start earning some money. I am a 27 year old man, who is doing decent in life. So as we are looking out for girls in this arranged marriage setup i am in talking stage with a girl. So in chat i am good and fine and i talk well. But from front i am shy and conscious as to not do anything that would come across as a creep. So i this girl let’s name her X is in a Y profession and she is in a different profession from me. So i work in City A and am also ready to relocate to city B after getting married. On one of my dates she said she had switched the company and joined another company within 15 days so me being a working professional said that you could have served a few more days of notice and tried for a different company for a greater pay rise. Look i am not aware how her line of work operates i just gave my opinion not sure what she thought she started saying of you want a higher package woman marry her. Then one day she said that you will be my second priority after marriage my work will always come first. I chose to ignore it. Then when we met after the date she tried to hug me me being an introvert and a shy person i got a little awkward hugged her back but lightly not tightly. She flipped out on me like i pushed her away and i am not interested in her. I tried to explain this to her. She did not listen to me. I have been the one from the start who has been down tooling myself ready to sacrifice things trying to make things work. She brought a gift for me i was happy and shocked and a bit confused so my expression came across a awkward to which she said i did not like it. This is how i am. I have always been an introverted and a shy person never been in a relationship in my life, so these things do not come to me naturally. I am very good at chatting and flirting on chat but in person I am a shy guy. But now i feel i have had enough of this setup i am not going to marry this woman at all because in the hindsight i am being made to look like a fool and i will not destroy my life by taking this step. This is what i am feeling right now. I need advice from men out there if anyone of you have been in such a situation in life please let me know. I am willing to listen to your advice am i right or thinking too much in life. How do i tell this to my mother? Like how please let me know because one thing i know is that i could be wrong in this but being an introvert in real its real hard to make people understand to what i mean and to what people think i mean.

HELP SOS!!! 🚨🚨

Backend Engineer

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

“You should get married on time”

To the married folks, would it be different if you would have married later in life? From a personal or objective POV, what’s your take

32+ M here and not yet married.

“SHAADI waqt se ho jaana chahiye”

Got married at  26.  If i get  a time machine, will do it by 24.    There is a quote by ashneer, where he says, 30's are the most important time is building one's career and setting the foundation to make money. Distractions from family life/kids will kill both the careers and family. I think he made perfect sense.  

I think the older one gets, its difficult to have compatibility.  Too many external stimulus corrupts our view of the society. And more over everything has a purpose and we all come with a shelf life.  If chances of starting a family  is slim or nil, whats the point in getting married? one is better of single.

I am a 30 M , got married in 2020 and clearly the marriage was not working out. My wife and her mother was always finding ways to control me from the beginning with all the little things and my wife started this drama like with every fight she used to leave the house and stay at her mother’s and not comeback until all the parents gets involved and me asking sorry, one time she left the house because I cooked the curry and had asked her to do roti this turned into a fight and just for that she left the house. And her mother threatened me that she won’t send her daughter back until I ask sorry. There were LOT of these instances and at one point I really got fed up and started standing up for myself, in the last fight she said she won’t come back again and I said please don’t I am also tired of this. After a month she started reaching out to me asking sorry and apologies and all but I had lost all trust in the relationship and I wanted sometime. Even if I let her in her mother would have ruined the relationship again , so I asked her since I have no trust you have to agree on that in future if we get divorced if we have kids the kids stay with me and I won’t pay any alimony. Following this discussion she lodged a fake domestic violence and dowry case against me and my family. And I filed for divorce after I seeing police station and all. I have all the evidence to prove that I am innocent but the court is taking very very long time and now she is asking for for a huge amount only the she will agree for divorce 😣

Worst times for men! Better to be a monster than a hero

This has been dragging from past two years and am done with my life, I can’t date anyone even though am 30 I have maintained myself in a healthy way so that I look a bit younger but because of the case is still going on… I don’t know what to do

Connecting Friends marriage to Fintech? What next?

Business Development Manager

Have any of you taken a career break and got back to work?
Did you see any loss? Discrimination? Difficulty?
Is it right decision to take a career break? I have no problem with savings I have it plenty. Am just worried about losing everything if there is a gap in my work timeline and if that will impact me from being hired again from say top firms or wherever? Please help.

Reality of taking a career break? Especially if you are a man where you can't easily hide under emotional duress?

Founding Engineer

I have a 3yr long relationship which started off as a fling but later we both got attached to each other. We don’t know if this is love but we know that we will not be able to make it to marriage due to multiple reasons. Because of this relationship/situationship I’m not able to proceed for arrange marriage also. I’m 30, and want to have a family. I have a very good prospect of arrange marriage but I’m unable to convince myself to take the leap of faith. It feels like I’m drained out and don’t want to invest in another relationship. What should i do ?

What do i do ?

Welcome to Business Roles's Private Community

Doston, I'm a 26 year old, run-of-the-mill MBA grad who has just been coasting through life until a very recent and intense encounter with the perils of modern life. 

Background brief: 
Academics : 8/5/8; MBA from NMIMS Mumbai
~2yrs of work ex in sales; have worked in financial sales, currently working in non-alco bev sales
  
I have very few hard skills and am not sure where to start. Still, I'm seduced by other lucrative jobs/profiles such as finance, PM, consulting, which feel inaccessible at this point. I've accepted that there's nothing I can do to change the past, but I'm seeking guidance on how to shape my career from this point forward. Looking forward to any advice about jobs, career planning, and even life. Thank you!

Seeking career advice 🙏

Sales Manager

A friend of mine was dating a girl, convinced his parents to offer marriage. But girl chickened out last minute, married one her father had chosen. This really fucked him up, he was determined to get married anyhow, whom didn't matter. 
1 Yr later, found a girl parents found, got pregnant before first anniversary. Over 3 years, their marriage has seen divorce, domestic violence and 5 star hotel celebrations (oscillated to extremes of good and bad)

I'm seeing another such case.
Office colleagues were dating, he proposed marriage, she declined. He said stuff that shouldn't have been said, she threatened POSH (did not complain officially)
2 months later, he has found someone to marry through arrange marriage route 

Break ups are bad, but half of the problem were you. Instead of working on that, people take it on ego

Rebound marriages are the worst

I am 24F and I have exhausted all my reasons to postpone marriage. Due to failed past relationships I don't know what to look for in the next guy. Basically I pulled every type I wanted and failed epicly. I am not ready to get married at all. Tomorrow the groom's family is visiting my home and I have no idea what to do.But if I say I like him the marriage will happen in 3 months. Any advice on this.

Breakup suggestions?

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