UX/UI Designer

Software Engineer

So basically I'm a middle class boy with 1 sister, but currently I'm getting 20k per month and my gf mom asking min 50k and own house to marry her and she not accepting marriage with her mom permis...

Welcome to News Discussion's Private Community

So basically I'm a middle class boy with 1 sister, but currently I'm getting 20k per month and my gf mom asking min 50k and own house to marry her and she not accepting marriage with her mom permission, i ask her mom for time to get 50k and own house but she not accepting my love. I'm a UI/UX Designer due yo this Situation and her mom requeiment but I lost the for here. What I need to do?

Confusion about life

Confusion about life- Grapevine

Welcome to Confessions's Private Community

hi all,
Please just pour some ideas ,I am in relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years,My parents are accepting my love .THe problem here in his mom don't get to our marriage untill his elder brother gets married but my parents are urging me to get married before his elder brother .....or asking me to call off as I am 27 dont know what I need to do and his parents are coming to my home to have a word with my parents whatif there will be clash between 2 family I am very depressing with this ....please pour some suggestions

Depression

Test Engineer

I have been a little caught up with numerous things in my life lately and have finally found some free time to open up myself to new experiences. 

I had a wishlist of shows and movies that I wanted to watch but as soon as I start watching them, I get bored and feel like turning it off. 

No, its not the content
No, its not the genre
No, its not the actors
No, its not the taste either

This is pretty ironic as considering the fact that I have spent a fair share of my youth chasing academics and career, my heart had always craved for life experiences. I had to let go of the woman I loved simply because I was too focussed on my JEE. I wont be able to forgive myself for that EVER. It almost felt like I had lost a limb, without which , I would be rendered disfunctional. Thats a separate story tho.

Nothing excites me (yep nothing)
Nothing amuses me 
Nothing feels lively

I have no clue where my life is headed

I understand that as we age, our triggers of happiness change. I have put concious efforts into knowing what those new triggers are. But I cant find any plausible sources of happiness.

I am performing pretty well with my career.
Even got a double digit hike.
But didnt feel that kick of joy.

Have I approached a dead end?

Losing Interest In New Things

Data engineer

So i am writing this post reaching out to the world of men for help. So as we all know that as a man we are pressured to get married and start a family as soon as we start earning some money. I am a 27 year old man, who is doing decent in life. So as we are looking out for girls in this arranged marriage setup i am in talking stage with a girl. So in chat i am good and fine and i talk well. But from front i am shy and conscious as to not do anything that would come across as a creep. So i this girl let’s name her X is in a Y profession and she is in a different profession from me. So i work in City A and am also ready to relocate to city B after getting married. On one of my dates she said she had switched the company and joined another company within 15 days so me being a working professional said that you could have served a few more days of notice and tried for a different company for a greater pay rise. Look i am not aware how her line of work operates i just gave my opinion not sure what she thought she started saying of you want a higher package woman marry her. Then one day she said that you will be my second priority after marriage my work will always come first. I chose to ignore it. Then when we met after the date she tried to hug me me being an introvert and a shy person i got a little awkward hugged her back but lightly not tightly. She flipped out on me like i pushed her away and i am not interested in her. I tried to explain this to her. She did not listen to me. I have been the one from the start who has been down tooling myself ready to sacrifice things trying to make things work. She brought a gift for me i was happy and shocked and a bit confused so my expression came across a awkward to which she said i did not like it. This is how i am. I have always been an introverted and a shy person never been in a relationship in my life, so these things do not come to me naturally. I am very good at chatting and flirting on chat but in person I am a shy guy. But now i feel i have had enough of this setup i am not going to marry this woman at all because in the hindsight i am being made to look like a fool and i will not destroy my life by taking this step. This is what i am feeling right now. I need advice from men out there if anyone of you have been in such a situation in life please let me know. I am willing to listen to your advice am i right or thinking too much in life. How do i tell this to my mother? Like how please let me know because one thing i know is that i could be wrong in this but being an introvert in real its real hard to make people understand to what i mean and to what people think i mean.

HELP SOS!!! 🚨🚨

Backend Engineer

29 M, IT professional in Bangalore earning around 65k/month. 
My parents are looking for girl(non-working) for my marriage later this year.(already knows girls family).
But I am worried about all the expenses post-marriage as Bangalore is already a costly city and I will only be sole-earner.

Need your honest advices here on how to manage expenses or look for a working partner.

Need advice/suggestion

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

Adulthood 🫡

Product Designer

Account Executive

Hey All, 

I'm 26-M earning a descent salary(approx 40k per month). My family doesn't have any property/gold and we live in a rented house. 
90% of my earnings goes to expenditure. And rest 10% goes to some or the other expenditures (like medicine, repairs, travelling etc). At the end of the month my bank account has around 1-2k.

I have no savings, no sip, no shares, no crypto nor additional source of income. 
I'm only running my entire house. 

My parents want me to get married. My parents both have diabetes and my father is 60yrs old.
He wants me to get married as soon as possible so that he can have a cool head. 

The thing is, for marriage also there's no money saved, I have to take some loan (approx 2-3Lakhs) for the marriage. 

Especially in my community, girls are very few in numbers and they have lot of expectations like own house, more than 15LPA, rental income etc etc. 

I only expect one thing from the girl i.e she should be having a minimum degree and should be working. 

But most of the girl's parents are rejecting because of my financial condition. 

I'm in a dilemma whether to stop looking for marriages atleast for 2-3 years(so that atleast my salary would be increased by that time frame). But at the same time I'm feeling scared like once I cross 28 age it would be very difficult to find a match as at that time also I may not own a house.

Any guidance would be helpful😀

Advice

Software Developer

Welcome to Software Engineers's Private Community

Hi Folks I'm graduated in 2023 from a Tier 3 College with 7LPA at a startup 
I'm working here in automation but framework is company built and I'm feeling like I'm learning nothing
I want to switch to dev 
But these DSA and everything scare me I'm good to nothing
And I don't see a scope in Quality Engineering
And I have a student loan to pay of its of sum around 8 Lakhs
I want to switch to a high paying job
Because I live with my family
I pay rent 15k Sister takes care of groceries and stuff
I need high pay job but I feel I'm good to no where
What should I do please, tell me how to handle stuff
Sometimes I panic and cry alone 
Need  your suggestion please will matter a lot to me 🙏

Quality Engineer is Good or Bad

Hello I am a 26 years old female who works in a IT company, but meanwhile I am stuck with my life neither my job nor my relationship is going well, I am actually not so "relationship" type i am kinda marriage type of person, ❤️ I love someone who is from middle class and I am ready to settle if he is earning 40k even but what matters is love and understanding of both of person,

Recently I am facing issues in my relationship like he is ready to leave me if the situation is not in future, and while I am not getting any future security from him i really feel anxious and getting panic attacks each day, I am not able to sleep properly 

Meanwhile, I am saying no to projects in my company and I am not showing any willingness to work further, honestly no body is there to guide me what should I do, my mom she supports me but I am unable to sleep properly in night and each and everyday I am crying and crying, not eating properly, i really need ur suggestion guys 

Please  if anyone can suggest me or anything i should know i will be very grateful.........

Need suggestion

Systems Engineer

29,M. I am planning to get married this year. My parents have not accumulated much money, plus i don't want to burden them with the expenses of my marriage, hence I will be sponsoring the marriage on my own. Same is the case for my partner, and we will split all expenses equally.

Now, here comes the twist, our parents wish to retain the "izzat" that they have in the society and want to do a big wedding. The budget that I have been told is minimum 20L. Tbh, I don't want to spend this much. I was looking for something ~ 5L.

People on grapevine, especially the members who married recently, what do you think is a decent budget for marriage. Additionally, could you help out in some money saving hacks.

Budget for marriage

Guys suggesting court marriage, please read the OPs question again. He isn't confused between court marriage or a grand wedding. He wants to understand what the budget should be.  
  
 Groom side expenses 
 Clothing: 70k 
 Jewellery gifted to girl: 2~3L 
 Return gifts (Usually sweets): 1L 
 Stay for guests (30rooms, 2 days): 1.5L 
  
 Bride side expenses  
 Clothing: 1.5L 
 Gifts to guy: 2L 
 Jewellery: 3L 
 Makeup: 30k 
 Return gifts: 1L 
 Stay( Same as groom): 1.5L 
  
 Common expenses 
 Photography (2 days): 3L 
 Venue + Food (2 days): 6~8L (Per plate ranges between 1k to 2.5k in tier cities) 
 Parents shopping: 4L (2L per side) 
  
 Total expense= ~30L for both sides. Now you can decide what to cut and what to spend on.

Growth Manager

Consultant

Fuck , what a waste of weekend.

story -

I am 27 years old and i am not rich enough like grapevine people. I earn 9 LPA and doing remote job. So parents started looking for girl for arrange marriage. So there is program arranged in our caste where boy and girl has to register beforehand. Registration fees is 500 per person and 400 for booklet. So i paid around 1900 and lunch is also included. This program invites all the prospects under one roof and booklet was given. Booklet has all the details of prospects.So registered candidates can have multiple meetings with different people. As you already guessed it this is problem of supply demand. Female candidates are way less and male candidates are way more. We have so many experiences like girl family just outright reject you on the basis where i live. That girl was doing nothing and have done  bcom. Also one girl family rejected us soon as we just sit for a meeting. Reason dad of female earns 4X than my father income. We had some meetings around 5-15 but hardly any positive response. Female family is able to do 20-25 meetings at  minimum and they can have choice whom to reject just on weight factor too. Shitshow out their for arrange marriage. We had a quarrel at home after coming from program that i wore some multicolour tshirt thats why we dont have further meeting. Also my parents are giving me lecture that i should have wore gold chain and bracelet to impress other people. 

another thing in booklet , boys has to mention salary. There is no mandatory thing to mention salary of girl in same booklet. Also girls are given return gift for just attending the function.

fair warning - rant on whole ecosystem of arrange marriage

I am 28 M.

I was born in a poor family and to make matters worse my father was diagnosed with a terminal illness when I was still in college.

As if watching my father dying was not enough I came to know that my mother was having an affair with my father's friend. I never caught them but I saw their whatsapp messages.

My father eventually succumbed to his illness leaving the family responsibilities on my shoulders.

I never got to enjoy college. My first paycheck was spent on the medical bills and subsequent paychecks were spent on clearing my brother's education loan, paying back relatives (we borrowed some money for my father's treatment) and just taking care of my family.

I want to get married but honestly I don't have any money for it now and I don't want to take a loan.

I never had any relationship. It could never become a priority.

And it's not about just sex. It's something deeper. Maybe intimacy, maybe human touch, maybe something else. I don't know.

I tried hard to focus on my work and hobbies but It merely proved to be a temporary escape.

I don't even know why I am narrating all this to a bunch of strangers but then again aren't we all in the same boat at the end?

Feeling frustrated and lost in life.

I am a 27M and earn 7 LPA from a mechanical engineering background, which I know is very low compared to today's standards. Software and MBA guys are earning significantly more. In today’s world, money is important if you want to travel or live comfortably. By switching companies or pursuing an executive MBA, I believe I can reach a decent level in the future. 

One thing I’ve observed is that in dating, girls don't seem to care much about how much you earn. But when it comes to marriage, the financial aspect becomes more important. Which isn’t wrong at all. Of course, I’m not generalizing, and I know there are women who don’t prioritize money. Also, it’s true that ambitious people often look for equally ambitious partners. 

What are your views on this? I’d especially like to know from girls.

Do women want a husband who earns less than them?

Mechanical Engineer

25M. My parents keep on asking to get marry Because I am earning.. But the thing is I am not prepared for this, need to achieve my goals, not sure I will be reaching my goals after marriage. more over there are some trust issues on arranged marriages. Also I do get this on my mind some times, does marriage is mandatory, can't we live without marriage, I feel this when I see married people pretends  that they are happy outside but they are not inside, reasons might differ, lack of understanding, compromises, adjustments, Financial instability . I am in full of confused state. I already rejected few matches because of this mixed feelings and also to achieve my goals.

Confusion about life

Discover More

Confessions on

by Matilda Lee

Infosys

Depression

Adulting on

by Jordon Vernon

Stealth

Losing Interest In New Things

Confessions on

by Jordon Lee

Stealth

HELP SOS!!! 🚨🚨

Misc on

by Coy Carmden

Cognizant

Need advice/suggestion

Office Gossip on

by Jordon Carmden

Amazon

Adulthood 🫡

Adulting on

by Anise Gabriel

Accenture

Advice

Software Engineers on

by Aaron Carmden

Swiggy

Quality Engineer is Good or Bad

Adulting on

by Jordon Denver

Infosys

Need suggestion

Misc on

by Jordon Carmden

Stealth

Budget for marriage

Misc on

by Aaron Lee

Stealth

fair warning - rant on whole ecosystem of arrange marriage

Adulting on

by Jordon Hyrum

Verisk Analytics

Feeling frustrated and lost in life.

Adulting on

by Karilyn Carmden

Nordex

Do women want a husband who earns less than them?

Adulting on

by Aaron Vernon

Startup

Marriage in Early Stage Matters ?