Adulting Community

by LooseGoose

Stealth

3 months ago

Dating rules 101

0. Try to have a call/video call before the first date. Always take their phone number/insta id before agreeing to meet, plenty of ghosters and shady folks these days. 1. Always try to meet outside for the first date. Don't go for drives. Those kinda dates almost never end up going well in the long run. Ask to meet halfway, don't go out of your way just to meet someone. 2. Don't meet someone with the expectation to start dating or getting married right away. Get to know them as friends first. Everything else later. 3. Date for 2-3 months at least before committing to be exclusive, don't rush into things and keep your options open. 4. Do not go for dates when you're feeling down or depressed. Meeting a stranger most likely won't help, it'll only distract temporarily. 5. Draw up a list of things you want and don't want in a partner. Should have at least 5-6 points on both sides. Pointless to date without knowing that much, but the list will also change with time. 6. Keep an open mind, try to be empathetic, and have fun. Don't compromise just to please the other. Learn to take a stand and draw boundaries from the start. 7. Use protection always, no matter what. And also have some self defense prepared just in case (for all genders). Having met hundreds of people through dating apps in the last decade, these are a few rules I formed for myself over time. Hope they help :)

Qwerty2398

Stealth

3 months ago

For men - stop the dating nonsense. It works only in movies.

LooseGoose

Stealth

3 months ago

Why do you say so? I'm a man too, worked out fine for me

SickSpace

Stealth

3 months ago

He is a consultant - he must know

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VioletMovie

Accenture

3 months ago

This seems very fair. As soon as I saw the title I wondered if I’m about to see some objectionable opinions. But this is gold

LooseGoose

Stealth

3 months ago

Learnt them the hard way haha, hopefully others can use it well

KewlDude

Stealth

3 months ago

Hundreds of people??? Getting no match here😓

LooseGoose

Stealth

3 months ago

I've been dating for a decade, practiced enough :) Also need to study algo changes in apps. They change every once in a while.

tenet

Stealth

3 months ago

Enlighten us sensei

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WryExile38

Swiggy

3 months ago

Nice points.

LooseGoose

Stealth

3 months ago

Thanks :)

Sukhemegeela

Rubrik

3 months ago

Or as a guy to other guys focus on building yourself. Get rich and go to the gym everyday. Girls will come to you and you'll have a much healthier relationship than you'll ever have by superficial attraction. Being a fit rich guy after 25 is like being a bombshell hottie in college.

LooseGoose

Stealth

3 months ago

And you think gym bodies aren't superficial? 😂 Everyone should work on themselves constantly. But that doesn't mean you can't look for dates at the same time. Partners help you improve too, sometimes they're even better motivation than anything else.

Sukhemegeela

Rubrik

3 months ago

What's superficial about building your health which has quantum benefits on other aspects of your life? You clearly don't know the definition of superficial. Dating is good and fine no doubt. But the above list is for someone who is willing to spend a considerable amount of time and energy on it. That is NOT good for a young person. Sure keep an open mind and look for a good partner but you're much much better off focusing inwards.

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Cheeku67

Bookmyshow

3 months ago

I'm so paranoid, I also share live location with my friends or parents for the first meet.

LooseGoose

Stealth

3 months ago

That's a good rule, everyone should do it. I've told my friends before going on dates too, especially if I was feeling suspicious about the person/location.

Ladybug

Stealth

3 months ago

@Rorschach you seem to be very expert and experienced in datings..and may have gone through many ups and downs through dating if I am not wrong 😉🤪

LooseGoose

Stealth

3 months ago

I have 😂 never imagined I would tbh. Wanted to marry my first gf, but she ended up cheating on me. Then I started using dating apps, never looked back since.

Ladybug

Stealth

3 months ago

Maybe she was fade-up with your dating skills..and she found a better guy than you...😀

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LokiPen

Stealth

3 months ago

This is lit, thanks for sharing.

LooseGoose

Stealth

3 months ago

Happy to help 😊

criticalresourceF99

Stealth

3 months ago

Programmer writing this?

LooseGoose

Stealth

3 months ago

Designer. But I do dabble with code sometimes :)

DisplayFlex

IT World

3 months ago

Thanks for sharing this!

ValKilmer

SaaS

3 months ago

Unfortunately we humans are primal, visceral creatures. And so only one rule works when it comes to dating - be good looking (and then be authentic and smart - this helps bring out your own humor) If think you're not genetically good looking person then work out like Saitama in One Punch Man till you have literally broken your barriers through the roof and surpassed your peaks. It's a virtuous cycle, working out makes you fit and lean which in turn makes you more confident and in turn helps you handle rejection better. There are more tips online too on how you dress and smell and speak but just try and be good looking

LooseGoose

Stealth

3 months ago

Being authentic is overrated. You can't be that honest right away. Need to learn how to converse. Also, it's not all about looks or money. I'm a pretty nerdy guy with no abs or money. Still got dates.

MachoMan

Private company

3 months ago

Cfbr

AptWatcher49

Amazon

3 months ago

Agree with 0 and 7. Partially agree with 2 and 6. Disagree with the rest as they largely depend on the person you are meeting. For instance Point 5 is too mechanical, setting too many expectations in the first place. At max you may have 1-2 red flags. I say this because a few good things in a person can mostly trump a lot of other cons/limitations. It's necessary to go with a free mind. 3 can't be a rule at all, i have seen a couple of friends dating and getting their marriage fixed in a month and are living happily ever after. One of these friends was actually on a spree of short term flings for a year and then suddenly he met this girl whom he wanted to immediately settle down with.

LooseGoose

Stealth

3 months ago

Point 5 comes handy if you've dated a bit, not really for newbies who don't even know what to expect. But not tolerating violence, weird behaviour or disrespect is already 3 points that everyone should enforce mandatorily. There are usually more. As for your friends, it's good they found someone but a month or two is very less time to know someone. I'd wait for their marriages to reach the 5 year mark before i declare them happy and good decision makers.

AptWatcher49

Amazon

3 months ago

Bro, toxicity (violence and disrespect)anyway should be out of the window, these are obvious expectations. Why would anyone choose to keep these in their list, these are quite but obvious. On the other point, i have seen long standing relationships also breaking, so I'm not very sure if the length really plays a part here.

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GlaringBreadfruit

Essar

a month ago

I agree with @LooseGoose but point is if you have many options then we can use filters of total 8 guidelines. If a guy doesn't have options than it's not possible to even try a date. First let us know how to attract or get a date. Then for moderation we can use your suggestions.

LooseGoose

Stealth

a month ago

That's a different post - https://share.gvine.app/UwBWi6anGttzD8gw9

KosherList7

Deloitte

3 months ago

@Rorschach apna exam ke liye bhi itna notes prepare nahi kiya tha na, sahi hai 🤣🤣🤣

LooseGoose

Stealth

3 months ago

Exams aren't as difficult as getting good dates lol

MatMaaroMuje

Deloitte

3 months ago

What if that date happens to be your current project client 🤔?

LooseGoose

Stealth

3 months ago

Hain? 🤣

MatMaaroMuje

Deloitte

3 months ago

Tell me man, what to do ?

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nothing_personal

Others Innovation

3 months ago

Is this for women or men ?

LooseGoose

Stealth

3 months ago

Both

LooseGoose

Stealth

3 months ago

Wrote another post on how to get matches for guys- https://share.gvine.app/UwBWi6anGttzD8gw9

LoyalHiccups

HCL

3 months ago

Alternative way to save time and money [life is short] 1. Always have a hookup at a hotel that's midway. If the sex is good and physical chemistry matches, move on to step 2, else to step 5 2. Next meet, have an afternoon hookup. Followed by a movie and dinner. Ensure the cost is divided equally. If the sex was again good and you both could enjoy the movie time and dinner, go to step 3, else step 5 3. Next meet after a month and try sex. If you find it's still fun. Go to step 4 else step 5 4. You can think of signing a relationship contract and maybe living together without getting much emotionally involved. See if you can tolerate the person. If you can successfully for 6-7 months then Congratulations. Else Go to step 5 5. End it. ---+----+-----+---- Bottom line, Be honest, upfront, and outspoken even if the truth hurts. - this will help in the long run.

LooseGoose

Stealth

3 months ago

Dating in the Indian context doesn't always involve hookups though. Also, relationship contract? 😂 Are you a lawyer or something

LoyalHiccups

HCL

3 months ago

When you are in live-in with a female. It's best if you have things documented. A contract would definitely help protect individual rights and maintain equality. I know my response is too blunt but it's the reality. It's needed to avoid years of legal trouble.

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