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Dont ignore the red flags

Dont ignore the red flags- Grapevine

Obviously i wouldnt sign the deal anymore

Just asking here ,if i should convince him to stay or just wind up everything?

Reason for his leaving: We have been struggling for an year & despite now raising a preseed ,he is afraid that the next two years might be with struggle & constant disappointments

Should i try to convince him by painting an optimistic picture or should i just accept that he is a redflag & just move on in life

Please don't troll, I dont have enough energy to fight trolls today

My cofounder is planning to quit , we have a preseed termsheet in place

Program Manager

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I usually see 1 or the other in every 2nd company I interview for. What do you guys ? I have been interviewing a lot lately and came across this list on LinkedIn

Company red flags during interview process

Data Analyst

When I was doing my masters in economics last year, I met a girl. I was instantly attracted to her, however never got a chance to ask her out. Eventually I did, and we went out a couple of times. I really liked her but I think she considered me a good friend. I got mixed messages from her. Once, she sends me text messages in the middle of the night asking me to take her to lunch tomorrow and another she doesn't reply back to me. Anyway I persisted but eventually she kinda distanced herself from the relationship after we hooked up. I had fallen for her but she wanted no part of anything. Didn't return my calls or texts, or when she did made up excuses to avoid hanging out. 

So I told her how I felt. She was angry at me for ruining our friendship even though we hooked up, which she instigated. I never saw her again for the 3 months( she went to Delhi for some work) but she called me occasionally if she needed to talk or something.

So she left and we remained in touch via Whatsapp. On one occasion, I made a passing joke as to how she spent time with every dude there but me. She became very offended and we stopped communication. She started it up again but didn't apologise.

Finally, I actually visited Delhi because another friend of mine was getting married and invited me. I didn't visit her because of time constraints and she became pissed, and wouldn't talk to me, accusing me of doing it on purpose. That was 6 months ago.

I'm going to a friends birthday soon and she's gonna be there. 

Would it be bad for me to hold the grudge? Or should I just let it go.

Bear in mind, she avoided me whilst hanging out with others and then accuses me of avoiding her.
I don't wanna be a douche but I don't wanna be a pushover, someone who can call me whenever and I'll come running.

Please help Grapevine! 🙏🏻

Girl Trouble - Am I Bad?

She's a big red flag. She's either manipulative or moody. We don't need these teasing and chasing games in 2024. 
  
 Move on

Investment Manager

Software Developer

Fyaaar

Software Engineer

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

What was a SUPER RED flag you dodged at work?

Product Designer

just asking for referral ....kindly help getting at least interview opportunity...have been constantly applying to various jobs for last 4 months since layoff ...till now no interview....I have 2 years experience as support engineer trying to switch to data analyst role....can share my resume if anyone could please provide feedback or any referral it would be of great help...thanks in advance ...and please don't post that post this LinkedIn because tried that and received only 10 reactions

Please don't ignore

Process Associate

If weekend plans involve crafting excuses, it's a red flag for sure.

I am a 30 M , got married in 2020 and clearly the marriage was not working out. My wife and her mother was always finding ways to control me from the beginning with all the little things and my wife started this drama like with every fight she used to leave the house and stay at her mother’s and not comeback until all the parents gets involved and me asking sorry, one time she left the house because I cooked the curry and had asked her to do roti this turned into a fight and just for that she left the house. And her mother threatened me that she won’t send her daughter back until I ask sorry. There were LOT of these instances and at one point I really got fed up and started standing up for myself, in the last fight she said she won’t come back again and I said please don’t I am also tired of this. After a month she started reaching out to me asking sorry and apologies and all but I had lost all trust in the relationship and I wanted sometime. Even if I let her in her mother would have ruined the relationship again , so I asked her since I have no trust you have to agree on that in future if we get divorced if we have kids the kids stay with me and I won’t pay any alimony. Following this discussion she lodged a fake domestic violence and dowry case against me and my family. And I filed for divorce after I seeing police station and all. I have all the evidence to prove that I am innocent but the court is taking very very long time and now she is asking for for a huge amount only the she will agree for divorce 😣

Worst times for men! Better to be a monster than a hero

This has been dragging from past two years and am done with my life, I can’t date anyone even though am 30 I have maintained myself in a healthy way so that I look a bit younger but because of the case is still going on… I don’t know what to do

What red flags or signs of 'incompatibility' have you faced in your interview campaigns

I recently saw a case in a product interview where the interviewer said - X is your goal, why are you concerned about Y check metric. That's a nope in my book.

Interview Red Flags

Product Manager

Compiling a couple of ways people can understand a toxic founder from a distance, before they start working with them actively 
I've now met with a lot of them over the last couple of years, here are the ones that stand out the most to me: 

1) Narcissism: They'll love to have fame through random things. Stuff like Forbes 30u30 or some random award. Even if it means nothing. They'll show how great business is doing on social media, even when it may be nosediving. You'll never know things are messed up on the inside. 

2) Masochism: They're super likely to enjoy pain: be it messed up working hours, or bad health, or just really hard times. This almost allows them to thrive during adversity. This is usually coupled with sadism, they'll typically love that they can take pain well, but you cannot. 

3) Overemphasize on the carrot: In your first couple of meetings with them, once they like you, they will over emphasize on the benefits you will have if you work with them. They'll keep repeating how your career could skyrocket, or how you could be a star in other ways. This is also a typical red flag.

These are just 3 of the ones that I feel summarize what I have seen in known toxic founders. Happy to debate/know more if somebody else has had the lovely experience too :D

Traits of toxic founders

Girl from Jeevansathi.com asking to be physical before marriage.
Is it a red flag?

Arrange Marriage

I interviewed for a company called tooljet, cleared all the rounds.

During the negotiation with HR, in the later stages of negotiation I had asked few questions like
1. Is there any Esops(no)
2. Appraisal cycle(it's a startup, depends on performance)
3. Promotion possibility(it's a startup so depends on the performance)
4. Performance bonus(it's a startup depends on performance) no range given
5. Medical insurance ( it's a startup so no)
6. Probation period(3 months)
7. Leave policy(21 days yearly, can't take more than 3 days consecutively) the head of product and tech lead said it will be unlimited
8. Public holidays(national holidays yes + 1 day for diwali) so 5-6 days I'm assuming 
9. Work from home expenses if any?(no)
10. Working hours(10-7, it's a startup so you might have to work long hours)
11. Working days( 5 days)
12. Notice period( 1 month)
13. Joining date(tomorrow) lol, I asked her to defer it by a week

1st call was regarding my expectations ( she said she will give me 30-35% increment on previous)
2nd call was about her offer(gave me 23%)
3rd call was regarding all these questions
4th call I accepted asked her to defer it by a week
5th call she said no, saying you asked a lot of questions, we want someone who can focus on the growth of our startup and not worry about these things.
I never got a chance to negotiate, she never accepted or even bothered to listen to any of my requests. I asked her to increase it by 30% and she didn't even bother to listen and refused it. Her entire attitude was , take it or leave it.
She said she can't negotiate each and every day,and I barely got a chance to even negotiate.
Did I say anything wrong or is the HR stupid?

Negotiation with HR

Backend Engineer

This is the first time I am gonna ask something related to my personal life on grapevine bczz i know my fellow GRAPEVINERS are either went through it , going through it or will gonna experience it . Nowadays the bars for Getting a compatible partner is so high that most of the relationships and marriages aren't even working out .

people who are well settled are even seperating from their partner due to many issues , i am just 22 but it's natural to crave for someone's presence in your life but seeing around the breaks ups and divorces are on a rise due to this busy life , hook up culture , hypergamy etc . It makes me worried that will i actually able to get someone good in my life , i know no one is perfect but what if I'll miss the opportunity to get someone good or what if any toxic person comes who will make life a hell. Many of my friends are in relationship and even those who aren't even sure about their lives and career and the first thing that comes in my mind after watching them is - "Arre iski bhi hai🙂" , 

Right now I am focused on my career but these thoughts strike in my mind from time to time

A compatible partner

Seeking advice from married individuals who have/ want children

I’m 26 right now. Should I start looking for partners now or wait till around 30 once I’m financially stronger. Currently 22lpa - Mumbai

Marriage age for men

Growth Manager

Men on GV: Ask questions on love, relationships and marriage!

Women on GV: Answer these questions genuinely and bluntly!

I'll go first: 
Heard about a married couple (married <1 year) and already separated (to be divorced). The wife hid her past and relationship from her family and in-laws. Husband asked about her relationships and she said she isn't in one. No pressure from the guy's family about marriage. Girl said yes and for months pretended to be excited about marriage. Post marriage, husband realised that she's cheating, excessive partying drinking, and smoking. Husband is in a disarray and suicidal.

Now I know there are both men and women like her (not making it a gender thing). But as a man looking for a partner/relationship/girlfriend, how do we be careful and what red and green flags should we look for, in a woman, while looking for a genuine relationship?

Love and Marriage

Generalist

“You should get married on time”

To the married folks, would it be different if you would have married later in life? From a personal or objective POV, what’s your take

32+ M here and not yet married.

“SHAADI waqt se ho jaana chahiye”

Got married at  26.  If i get  a time machine, will do it by 24.    There is a quote by ashneer, where he says, 30's are the most important time is building one's career and setting the foundation to make money. Distractions from family life/kids will kill both the careers and family. I think he made perfect sense.  

I think the older one gets, its difficult to have compatibility.  Too many external stimulus corrupts our view of the society. And more over everything has a purpose and we all come with a shelf life.  If chances of starting a family  is slim or nil, whats the point in getting married? one is better of single.

Consultant

Welcome to Software Engineers's Private Community

1. Red flags during the interview conversations 
2. Red flags on social platforms - Glassdoor etc 
3. Red flags on LinkedIn

Dont ignore the red flags

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