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by PearlyWhite

Thoucentric

You can never be happy

I earn a decent living ~32LPA as a Software Engineer. I really enjoy my work and it is always a joy working with smart people around you. I sometimes wonder if I didn't exist would it matter in the world. At work, I come up with great ideas and insights which my peers appreciate and support, but there hasn't been one thing that they took seriously and moved ahead with. My peers around me constantly belittle me, some unprofessional jokes about my competence and intellect, even though I am actually good at what I do and more. The backhanded compliments and sarcastic replies in front of other people in my company makes me sad beyond belief. It is almost like I give so much of time to this company and although everyone cares about the work I do but no one cares about me. My colleagues constantly try to one-up themselves by bullying juniors and laughing in their glass-walled conference walls. Incidents like these make me want to give up on work. I think the mix of giving all of myself at work(intensity and long hours), constant berating on my competence and the time I spend away from my family and "real" friends(not these fake work colleagues) makes me depressed as fuck. I am now understanding that you can never be happy in life because you can never have all that you want. You will give up something for the other. You think making more money will make you happier but you will just end up losing your sanity.