Guidelines for marriage

Let me start by listing mine 1. Get into shape 💪 - I’ve set a target weight for myself, and a target muscle mass and body fat percentage 2. One book a month 📕 - This is something I’ve tried over and over but never seemed to achieve. 3. Delve deeper into devops 🔄 4. Complete a few side projects I’ve had in my backlog for months 5. Quit smoking 🚭 What are yours?

Hello Viners, I graduated in 2019,(27 male) most of my life I have worked from home. I am an introvert,Recently I got a new job offer and I am finally moving to Bangalore. My mom is asking me to get married. The main concern of my mom : As I get older, getting good rishta is difficult. My situation: As of now I don't have any loans to pay. Throughout my life,I have spent a significant amount of my money to take care of my older brother's education and family responsibilities. Now,my dad says I am still young to get married. I am torn between my mom and dad.Of course,at the end of the day it will be my decision I won't make decisions due to my mom's pressure. But I have seen my colleagues in 29-30s struggling to get married.is it same across whole india? Just wanted to ask fellow viners,when did you think you were ready to get married?

I know I'm not the only one having to go through this. Let's speak our heart out.

What are the pros and cons? To get married arranged.

from a guy's point of view: 1. You will get rejected by girls you want and you will reject the girls who want you, it's an endless cycle. 2. Caste/religion/job/location/money/face : everything matters. 3. When you start talking to a girl, assume she is already talking to 5 guys at least, that's how it works. 4. All the things you want in a person, will start vanishing with each person you talk to, so don't be rigid. You don't know what you want, it will keep changing. 5. People are going to lie about their age/salary/past etc, do your due diligence properly. They are going to pretend to be someone they are not. 6. Be ready for rejections and getting ghosted, hearing absurd rejection reasons. 7. They like to keep their options open, you are not their first priority, sooner you find that out the better or you need to put efforts to become their first priority. 8. Keep your expectations to a minimum, otherwise it will become the reason behind your frustrations. 9. Don't be desperate. Keep your attention to a limit, if you gave too much, then you would come off as desperate and not likeable. How to deal with it? 1. It is what it is. 2. If it didn't work, it wasn't meant to be. 3. No effort is a sign of no interest, stay away from such people. They are putting effort for someone else. If you have someone in your life, keep them close, put in efforts, don't come to matrimony apps.

In relationship with her for almost 4 years. Although relationship is kind of toxic but there're lot of emotional memories. She's bit of abusive when in anger and on the other hand I also made lot of mistake by giving hope & all. It becomes kind of hard for me to handle her anger. Now I trying to fix things up for our future. I tried connecting with lot of my friends & psychologist, but didn't get balanced solution. By balanced solution, I mean both of us should not suffer unfairly and live life peacefully. Both of us come from lower middle class family and both approaching 30. she's not working. 1. I have few responsibility for my family as well. So, one of my friend suggested "to do breakup and not continue because of these family responsibility. If I go with her, then in the end I have to sacrifice one thing in my life (sacrifice means not good future), either my family, her or my career. and not being true to my family responsibilities in future will give me more guilt than breaking up with her. and they told It'll become hard for me with family guilt. In chess, sometime you have to sacrifice queen to win. Also, they asked me to read geeta that duty comes first than anything else. and family didn't make any wrong and deserve the best in future." 2. My judgement around this is kind of messedup right now. Although i understand the logic part of it and completely agree with this. but Emotional part of this is kind of making me feel guilt. that i did very wrong to someone. and Even i understand that it'll be hard/impossible for me carry all these burden in future, still I think lets go with her just that I dont want her to suffer things. 3. Above 2 solution feels very biased to me. In both solution, one of us have to suffer badly. Posting here to get your solution. I know both type of people exist here. Someone will feel more for her and other will prefer family. for more context - https://grapevine.in/post/98de98e6-d9fb-48ea-90ce-b05c82214362

I am turning 25 next month and my family is after me for getting married. They are saying you need to start looking now so that you will find someone in 1.5-2.5yr till then you will be 27-28. But I am not sure whether I am ready or not I am working in an early stage startup so the job is also not stable. I also have goals to achieve before marriage like a foreign trip and buying a car at the same time what family is saying is making sense to me what should I do?

Men on GV: Ask questions on love, relationships and marriage! Women on GV: Answer these questions genuinely and bluntly! I'll go first: Heard about a married couple (married <1 year) and already separated (to be divorced). The wife hid her past and relationship from her family and in-laws. Husband asked about her relationships and she said she isn't in one. No pressure from the guy's family about marriage. Girl said yes and for months pretended to be excited about marriage. Post marriage, husband realised that she's cheating, excessive partying drinking, and smoking. Husband is in a disarray and suicidal. Now I know there are both men and women like her (not making it a gender thing). But as a man looking for a partner/relationship/girlfriend, how do we be careful and what red and green flags should we look for, in a woman, while looking for a genuine relationship?

Despite the "modern era" we live in, many of us still find ourselves on the path to arranged marriage—often feeling like it's the only option we have. Speaking from personal experience, I've had my fair share of bizarre encounters. Hearing similar stories from my male and female friends who are also going through this process has provided some comfort, especially knowing that I'm not alone. Let's use this comment section to share our experiences—whether they were bad, weird, gut-wrenching, blood-boiling, or even heartbreakingly disappointing

“You should get married on time” To the married folks, would it be different if you would have married later in life? From a personal or objective POV, what’s your take 32+ M here and not yet married.