True. Don't marry until you find the right one. And even if you find the right one, try to live with them before marrying

Analytics Manager

It's a very genuine fear. I also think of it. Sometimes I think "I would have never had these thoughts if I would have never been in any past relationship". Then the counter thought is " Then I would have got to know what I like and dislike after marriage - which is wrong". 
  
 At the end of the day, how can we be sure if we gonna marry the right one?? Who would love us and actually we would also fall in love with love with that person deeply.

Very nicely written, hope you find someone who matches your frequency

Software Developer

At 28 years old, I stand at the intersection of tradition and personal choice. My heart carries the weight of past relationships—each one a lesson etched into my soul. Despite the scars, I remain h...

Welcome to Confessions's Private Community

At 28 years old, I stand at the intersection of tradition and personal choice. My heart carries the weight of past relationships—each one a lesson etched into my soul. Despite the scars, I remain hopeful, seeking a connection that transcends mere compatibility.

Yet, when my parents present potential matches, fear grips me. Will these strangers understand my quirks, share my dreams? Or am I merely following a script written by tradition? Confidence eludes me; uncertainty looms.

Perhaps amidst the profiles lies someone who defies convention—a partner who dances with me on uncharted terrain. Love, after all, isn't a checklist; it's an improvisation, a melody composed in the quiet corners of our hearts. 🌟❤️

Navigating Arranged Marriages

Office Assistant

Navigating Arranged Marriages- Grapevine

I know I'm not the only one having to go through this. Let's speak our heart out.

[Rant] Arranged marriage process

Software Engineer

All of us at some point of time go through this phase, fortunately/unfortunately I am going through it too!

Just wanted to know from experienced people, how do you find the right person on the basis of just a few questions?

Or what questions you should preferably ask when you are choosing for a better half?

Choosing right partner in Arrange Marriage?

DevOps Engineer

from a guy's point of view:

1. You will get rejected by girls you want and you will reject the girls who want you, it's an endless cycle. 

2. Caste/religion/job/location/money/face : everything matters.

3. When you start talking to a girl, assume she is already talking to 5 guys at least, that's how it works.

4. All the things you want in a person, will start vanishing with each person you talk to, so don't be rigid. You don't know what you want, it will keep changing.

5. People are going to lie about their age/salary/past etc, do your due diligence properly. They are going to pretend to be someone they are not.

6. Be ready for rejections and getting ghosted, hearing absurd rejection reasons.

7. They like to keep their options open, you are not their first priority, sooner you find that out the better or you need to put efforts to become their first priority. 

8. Keep your expectations to a minimum, otherwise it will become the reason behind your frustrations.

9. Don't be desperate. Keep your attention to a limit, if you gave too much, then you would come off as desperate and not likeable.

How to deal with it?
1. It is what it is.
2. If it didn't work, it wasn't meant to be.
3. No effort is a sign of no interest, stay away from such people. They are putting effort for someone else.

If you have someone in your life, keep them close, put in efforts, don't come to matrimony apps.

Matrimony Apps Saga

Senior software engineer

Nothing related to work , i want to know how much looks matter in arrange marriage like everything is fine but i am definitely not drew to the person How do i marry such person what if i do not like him ever Please i am not being a jerk I am just ......how do i put it Not into him .....he looks much older than i am my family is like how long will you wait according to them i am already at an ange where i even should have settled with everything which i agree like okay i am 28 but i feel if we are not getting to a kind of person we do not like it's better to not marry at all. I know a person's behaviour is all that matters no money no looks nothing matter it should be a good person i agree but what if i end up not like him ever , i am 28 but Marriage just scares me to the core and also what i am also being made to believe if i look for a average to a bit good looking person he will definitely cheat on me. genuine opinion welcomed please ignore rather than commenting bad.

Finding partner

Analyst 

This question is for folks who have married early or have friends who have gotten married in their early 20s. What are your thoughts on this front?

Thoughts on marrying early, at say 25

What's something you might regret not doing in a time frame of a week/month/year/few-years

I am turning 25 next month and my family is after me for getting married. They are saying you need to start looking now so that you will find someone in 1.5-2.5yr till then you will be 27-28. But I am not sure whether I am ready or not I am working in an early stage startup so the job is also not stable. I also have goals to achieve before marriage like a foreign trip and buying a car at the same time what family is saying is making sense to me what should I do?

Need Advice! When to say yes for marriage?

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

I am 29. My family wants me to get married. I want a partner but not big on getting married or having kids. Fed up of matrimonial sites as i cannot trust strangers easily and prefer love marriage over arrange marriage. Idk what do I do!!!!!

29 and single

Analyst

A friend of mine was dating a girl, convinced his parents to offer marriage. But girl chickened out last minute, married one her father had chosen. This really fucked him up, he was determined to get married anyhow, whom didn't matter. 
1 Yr later, found a girl parents found, got pregnant before first anniversary. Over 3 years, their marriage has seen divorce, domestic violence and 5 star hotel celebrations (oscillated to extremes of good and bad)

I'm seeing another such case.
Office colleagues were dating, he proposed marriage, she declined. He said stuff that shouldn't have been said, she threatened POSH (did not complain officially)
2 months later, he has found someone to marry through arrange marriage route 

Break ups are bad, but half of the problem were you. Instead of working on that, people take it on ego

Rebound marriages are the worst

Consultant

A couple of other posts are on what unmarried men / women look for in their potential spouses. 

Married folks, based on your experience, what advice would you give people as they are going through the journey of figuring out the right partner.

Married men / women, what’s your advice on this - what factors should one consider while evaluting a to-be spouse?

Growth manager

I have a 3yr long relationship which started off as a fling but later we both got attached to each other. We don’t know if this is love but we know that we will not be able to make it to marriage due to multiple reasons. Because of this relationship/situationship I’m not able to proceed for arrange marriage also. I’m 30, and want to have a family. I have a very good prospect of arrange marriage but I’m unable to convince myself to take the leap of faith. It feels like I’m drained out and don’t want to invest in another relationship. What should i do ?

What do i do ?

Product Manager

Tips to date in BLR!?👀

I've been of the opinion that I don't want to marry and will enjoy life single. Turned 28 this year and for some reasons, my thoughts and perceptions changed and decided to give it a shot. 
Installed a matrimony app and didn't find much things happening there until I found a girl whom I thought I would give a try. I requested a match which got accepted very soon.
Fast forward, it's been 2 months since we whastapped each other. The only thing bothering me is that she's working in audit and says that she's too busy for texts, calls etc. And over the course of this 2 months period, we only managed to call each other thrice(including 1 video call). I had asked her to atleast try to call me but she's too busy/ not feeling well/ tired etc.
I really had feelings for her initially, but even after multiple attempts, she still keeps me waiting, I feel I'm slowly losing it and have reached a stage where i don't feel anything. 
What should I do?
P.S. we live in different time zones with a difference of 1.5 hours and by the time I'm back from gym, it'll be 11-11:30 pm her side. I try to have food and everything very quickly and make time for her everyday, only to be disappointed most days.
And most of her texts are scattered, with time gaps ranging from 10-16 hours at times. 
She tells me she's too exhausted and has no energy for anything but I am cent percent sure that she is using phone for insta, twitter etc even when my chats are waiting.

Finding your behalf

I recently came across this post by a very popular Instagram page. 

I personally believe love is coincidental, doesn't matter where or how you find it, what matters is you find the one. 

But I'm a hopeless romantic, y'all may share your opinions here.

Finding a soulmate, online?

Need help. How do you not let yourself be affected by your parents' worry about marriage? My parents can't find a suitable match in our caste. They aren't internet savvy, and English isn't their language, so they pester me daily about not looking for matches.
Filtering by caste and my city on Shaadi.com or JS gives only 80-100 profiles, most with requirements I don't meet. This affects me, and I end up shouting at my parents. It's not my fault they can't find someone, or that I seek a progressive family and partner. You can't choose your parents, but you can choose your partner. Why should I settle where I don't feel like myself? I'm losing it.

How to manage parent's pressure about marriage

Product Head

^That’s my parents’ new favorite question, like I can just slot it between investor meetings and product launches.

And yeah, they’re not wrong. By the time I’m ready, I’ll need to have found someone. You can’t just fast-forward to a relationship; it takes time, energy, and mental space — things I don’t have right now.

I get it. One day I’ll probably wonder why I didn’t start sooner. But right now, my focus is here: building this startup. It’s not a 9-5, it’s sleepless nights, constant pressure, and the highs and lows of creating something from scratch.

Then there’s this fear — that I’m screwing up my future by not looking for someone now. That I’ll wake up at 35, alone, asking myself what happened. But forcing a relationship just because it’s “time”? That’s how people end up miserable.

The truth is, most of us in our late 20s are in the same boat. Trying to build something meaningful while figuring out life. Some dive into relationships, others wait it out, and all of us hope we’re not making a mistake.

So when my parents ask again, I’ll keep saying, “not yet.” - idk where this will land me, but I don't really know better!

So… any plans for marriage?

Founder

Grapeviners, can you, with all honesty convince a non-believer like me into getting married and having children. If you do, my parents will send a million blessings your way. 

About me: 
- Female, 28
- mostly introverted, very selectively extroverted
- single and normally attractive
- Jinxed when it comes to relationships
- Financially independent, Net worth: 1 cr
- not bragging, but I'm decently intellectual and I can have smart conversations

My reason to resist marriage is: I'm scared it won't work out and will cause bigger problems than being single. Have seen too many unhappy marriages in family and friends. Dating scenes in recent times have only made things even more unimpressive.

Navigating Arranged Marriages

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