Samosa bhai. How does it lead to stability and happiness vo thoda explain krdo. 😊

mature people generally know themselves, other people's opinions don't matter to them  
  
 that kind of person generally leads a stable life

Senior Software Engineer

Analytics Manager

Product Manager

Software Engineer

Thought of the Day: Maturity leads to loneliness in the short term but stability/happiness in the long term

Thought of the Day: Maturity leads to loneliness in the short term but stability/happiness in the long term- Grapevine

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

I am penning this post because so far working in corporate I have realised that somehow we all are going through the same shit. Not everyone needs an adventure in life and start a business. Some of us like our stability. But with that stabilty comes loneliness. 
Everyone in corporate ( talking about bachelors) is looking for meaningful relationship with good sex. Approaching the other person in office is difficult. Half of us don’t believe in marraige but will get married to someone else’s love one day. 
I dont know what is the solution to this. More importantly I dont even know the problem. But something is missing. 
I see everyone in the morning wearing badges sipping coffee trying to gather energy just enough to survive the day. 
There is no gaurantee of job, life and happiness. 
Somehow we all have become incapable of living. We are just surving. 
These are mixed thoughts just like my morning mails.

What am I missing?

Sometimes I usually think, Why do I lose our school and college friends one by one? Is this a sign of maturity, reality, or something else?

I am just 25 years old, and within 3 years I have lost 90 percent of my circle and the few who left, with whom I usually get time to chat, call, or plan to get out.
 
And I feel that some day I will also lose them.

Can you guys make some comments that I have became  matured or that this is the actual reality of damn life?

Is losing friends from school and college a sign of maturity or reality?

Reality of life. 
  
 Some genuine relations will still be there even if you guys aren't meeting regularly or in touch regularly. 
  
 However you can consider other relations as gone. 
  
 With time only you will know which ones are going to fall in which category.

Software Test - QA

Application Engineer

Women of grapevine, if you had to share one advice with your younger self what would it be?

Human Resources

I dont care about money above a certain amount, i dont care about power. I just want my newfound family and my stability. To live a happy life surrounded by my loved ones. I feel as if its not a bad dream to have.

All id want is stability

Welcome to Software Engineers's Private Community

Fresher folks who knows less but brags the most. What is their future like?

Bragging about the CTC

I am a 29 YO single male. I earn decently well for my age. Lately I haven’t been feeling well. As in, life is just passing by and nothing brings me joy anymore - No PS5, No long drives, no movies or shows. 
Weekends are especially lonely. During weekdays, I make sure I go to my office everyday even though it’s hybrid, to avoid feeling lonely. 
I don’t have any female friends to talk about things deeply as most of those friends are now getting married. (you know how is it with us boys. It feels weird to share emotions or talk about life with the same sex somehow). Same for male friends. They are all getting married. 
Somehow, it just feels like I focused too much on my work and didn’t invest time in finding a mate at the right time. 
Now, on weekends, I just lay on my bed like a loser. I was never like this. I had so much drive to work, to explore, etc. But now it all seems pointless. 

Do you guys have any suggestions on what to do?

Loneliness - Nothing brings joy anymore

Get checked for Vitamin D & B12 levels also ADHD

Product Owner

Welcome to Indian Startups's Private Community

Was thinking about our lives. Ever since you are in school, you have something to look forward to. When you’re in 1st grade, you know next year it’s 2nd grade and so on till you finish your undergrad.

Suddenly, you could be everything or nothing at the same time.

Those who are good at this game of eternal growth end up grinding their lives away in the PCM -> Engg -> B-School -> Consulting hell loop.

Weirdly, the determinism in growth fades away suddenly and you see people finally pursuing diverse fields.

Then, the realisation kicks in. You’ve been conditioned to chase eternal growth. That is what brings meaning to you in every part of your life. Today has to be better than your yesterday, or else it feels like you’ve failed.

I wonder how sustainable that is but till then we will continue to throw our youth away. 

My 2 cents: You have a brief moment in history. Don’t spend your 10 years of prime in doing things that don’t bring you any joy. Don’t make the same mistakes all of us make chasing joys because others are chasing them.

Find your own meaning to this eternal growth.

Is life a race for eternal growth?

Although most of us moved out as teens to pursue our degrees, during college, one is surrounded by friends all around, and it's hard for loneliness to hit except for those 1 AM Nights.
But as an early career working professional, for the 1st time in life, most start feeling lonely,
pick themselves up cook their meals, and maybe apply to new jobs because you hate your current job. 

The first thought over the weekends is to do the laundry and clean up the mess you made over there is no one for you to come back to, no matter how bad your day was, you still have to work on weekdays.

What I hate the most about this stage is the relationships and friendships, being away from parents,
surrounded by people in the office but can't open up to, maybe you are lucky and make friends in the office but still, not even getting the time to call them, and having multiple colleagues to hangout with but 
the day you switch jobs you will be leaving them behind, just like your high school friends were left behind 
when you moved to college, just like your college friends were left behind when you moved cities for a job.

You are aware and mature enough to know your mistakes and fuck-ups in the past but you are also chained in the shackles of habits you have made over the last 20 years. There is an opportunity cost to everything, do you sleep early on the weekend or party Friday night and end up being hungover on Saturday too, do you give your best to the job or start your master's prep?

It's like a world of illusions that lets you believe that something better is 10 steps away and does not let you sit still in the present.

Adulthood

Growth Manager

One of the signs of maturity

Dating has become the norm for relationships today, but many don't realize that it's a relatively recent development, prevalent in Western society for only about a century, and it's already causing societal issues.

Previously, Indian arranged marriages were standard (different from forced marriages). Families would arrange meetings between their daughters and another family's sons. If they liked each other, they would soon plan the wedding, marry, have sex, and start families.

Today, individuals are left to find their own partners. If you don't find someone in high school, university, or work, your chances of finding a partner diminish. There's also less incentive for marriage, as sex no longer requires marriage or even dating, leading to more people pursuing sex directly. This has created a skewed dynamic where fewer men pursue women due to competition, turning to porn instead, while women face exploitation by men who have abundant choices.

Ultimately, near 28-30 both genders rush to the arranged marriage system to get them a partner while having their feet dipped on dating apps.

In the US,
This has lead to decreased marriage rates and, consequently, lower birth rates since most births occur within marriages. A decline in families results in a decreased population, putting more pressure on younger generations to support an aging population. Western nations, therefore, rely heavily on immigration, causing additional challenges. Increased single motherhood also correlates with higher crime rates, drug use, loneliness, mental health issues, and suicides

P.S. I'm young and dating too. Just thoughts for a conversation on what the implications of dating for us as a society could be.

Dating has failed Americans, now it will fail Indians too

Your description of arranged marriages is incorrect. You are given the option that if they liked each other get got married - which was not the case in the last generation. Often times the meetings was just formality, and my own mother met father on the day of their engagement. So nope, they didn’t have the choice to see if they liked each other, their parents made that decision for them. 
  
 Now take that into today’s scenario, how many people in this generation will willingly marry someone their parents has chosen, without any say in it? None. Doesn’t matter what their income is. You yourself are dating.. why? You can ask your parents to find someone for you, if you believe their judgment. The issue is that we don’t, and people avoid admitting that cos they don’t wanna be seen as someone who disagrees with their parents. 
  
 People are free to do what they like, arrange, love, dating, single, unmarried, adoption with marriage. Literally their choice. Nothing is ruining anything, in fact the recent situation in our country, where there are no laws upheld for rich, unemployed where 40% IITians aren’t placed, religious division - are more of a concern than a person’s personal choice. My 2 cents 🙌🏻

Thought of the Day: Maturity leads to loneliness in the short term but stability/happiness in the long term

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