During the townhall at our office, I couldn’t resist but count the number of women that are actually present in tech! And guess the number? Out of around 100-150 people I could count only 9 women! (Including myself) And as I was thinking around it, time came for my 1 on 1 review and I for a fact believe that I’ve been working good and so did my manager, he started with all the wonderful things I did and the improvements were great from our last 1 on 1 but the review ended with much of a confusion, it felt like I was told I’m a women in this industry! My manager added how this industry is biased and how if a women does something wonderful she’s not a normal girl! He rather added that how life will get difficult for me from now on since I’m married and might plan a family! Are men also told the same thing? They will plan a family too right? It felt like i was not treated equally like my other teammates and a bit differently because I am a woman? Have you ever given a thought about how it happened with you and around you?
Yo let me tell you something.
We (men) go thro this shit from childhood and when men speak with other men, we know instinctively the common pressure the other person is going through.
common pressure means wife, kids, parents, & society
The probable reason for you would be, most women don’t have life or death situation. I believe your manager is looking after you. He is worried about how others will treat you even though you have good performance.
Because you have never experienced what he is saying, it might feel like it is unfair to you.
And regarding the women ratio, it is hard to pin point if the company is unfair or not.
Most women don’t want to deal with pressure from work and take a break to look after their kids.
In this case, it is hard to find talented women as most of them took a break.
To answer straight to the point, men are treated horribly for most of their work/family life. We are used to this shit.
And regarding hurdles in work after kids is very true. Typically companies expect you to work on par with men but here you need look after kids as well. It gets little too much to handle work & family for most women.
Post one sad thing that women face. Men will come in hordes talking about how no one listens to them
Talk about irony!
How's that irony? Just coz women are crying over a thing, it doesn't automatically de-credit what men are facing. It happens bothways. Women cry everywhere - men isssues, women issues etc.
No one is decrediting what men face, I sympathise as well. But a women sad story is no place to bring up your sad story. It just tries to put down what she is experiencing is lesser
Your boss seems biased.
It is true that women may take long maternity leaves and it can impact the growth of their career for a few years.
But using that to discriminate against a deserving candidate currently who has performed well is(and should be) frowned upon.
Friend, I'll also recommend you go and talk to women who went on "long" maternity leaves and broaden your world view a bit. It ain't a bed of roses. And it ain't always a choice to take a break. Cheers.
Npbody said anything about bed of roses. He's talking about something very valid. What does the hardness of maternity even got to do with this? It's irrelevant. He's talking about how that gap affects careers, which is absolutely true.
Men are also told the same about marriage.
In my company one guy got demoted after marriage.
Sorry to hear this. Your manager needs to grow up and form his own views instead of holding behind "duniya ye kahegi", and stand by those. You should politely smile and tell your manager that as long as you are in his team, you are not worried about unfair biases.
I, a woman, and my female friends have faced this - being asked in interviews if you are married, have a kid or plan to have one. I have started asking how this is relevant to the interview. my work ethic is at 99%ile so it is pretty lame to be asked such questions. Such people need to be answered back.
Hiding behind*
Pls only women, no men 🙏
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