I have had over 8-10 managers in my life in a career spanning over 8 years, 5 of them were female managers and unfortunately the experience with 4 of them were very bad. They’re either micro managers, or power hungry, want to be dominant over male juniors, misuse their power, cannot take any kind of resistance or refusals or disagreement from juniors.
I have always heard female managers are more empathetic but unfortunately I’ve faced the opposite. Just wondering, was it just bad luck or is it actually the case?
I tried to introspect in this and I found at least 4 points common across all these female managers:
Omg! Can you pls do a bias free statistics before stating this without any relative references?
How many such cases for male managers you had to how many of them were horrible?
And then are these only female or also male managers also are similar in your team/ field, etc.?
Pls do keep your personal biases at bay. I have seen few men/ male colleagues that are uncomfortable with female bosses. Are you one of them?
This is a platform where these things can be miscontrued and things get very misogynistic. So pls be mindful of stating wholesome experiences and not just skewed and biased ones.
Pls do mention what's your gender, etc. when replying. That also gives some perspective
Not everything has to be about feminism, does it?
Literally read the title "Unpopular Opinion", that already means that female boss' are usually assumed to be more empathetic but OP has had a different experience with them. There are usually no opinions on male managers, some are good some are bad but female managers as he mentioned are generally assumed to be more empathetic and understanding(literally a positive trait in female leads that he mentioned).
And again, an "Opinion" means a statement he's making out his personal life, never did he mention that ALL FEMALE leaders are like that.
How do you do bias free statistics here by the way? He's had horrible experience with 80% of the female managers he's worked with, how would you like to remove the bias?
I do agree, a lot of posts and comments do get misogynistic here, but this isn't one of them.
You literally did not read a single line or try to comprehend a thing OP wrote yet you plugged in the basic few buzzwords like calling OP a misogynist which people love to use so casually.
I have found females in corporate are much more opportunistic and shrewd than men. They think that is the only way to rise. Yet to encounter an empathetic female in jobs.
Two female managers in 10 years and I promised to myself- "never again". They are the worst. No offense to anyone
Had two female managers in 10 years. one absolute worst. and another absolute best. The difference between them was 1 was Indian and the other was American (in her 50's). No prize in guessing which was best or which was worst. Stayed at that company for longer period just because she was very nice.
I think it is not gender led but what leadership style a person follows
My first job had a female boss. She was ruthless, I have cried while on job reporting to her. I have heavy menstruation days and she still wasn't be empathetic even as a female (I had to be running aroundto get work done). 2 years later, we had much better work relationship. The nicest notice period I have served is under her (she even allowed watching movie on work hours)
Then handful of men, some complete &$%£#, some awed with their team management. Like this one would make casually sexist jokes, even disrespecting men - like telling male HR that HR is a female job. The f?!
He would take leaves giving reasons that my aunt is here, my uncles' son in law's grandmother is here while I got a mail asking how soon I can join work while I was suffering from covid.
I have so many such stories of these direct n indirect managers. It really is a personality trait
Yupp. Personality traits like entitlement, narcissism, credit stealing, classism. These are common across, male, female, boomer, millennial, genz, North/South, stranger, relatives, loved ones. At the core, these are selfish people.
One of my managers (male) asked me to man up when I told him about one of my emotional issues when he asked me in person. He said men arent supposed to make excuses victim card is best suited for women etc and cancelled my sick leaves. I had 3 mental shutdowns that day. While one if my ex-manager (female) would leave me on blue-tick when I had doubts , and then reprimanded me, sometimes personal remarks, for not understanding stuff (I was an absolute novice back then)
You see,
The point I am trying to make is that managerial roles , regardless of genders, thrive on insensitivity and brute logic.
Thats just something peculiar to the role
I’ve had a female manager once in my career, and she made my life miserable.
She took credit for everything I did, nagged me at work, made sexual comments and jokes about me in public. She had a free ride because of my high quality work that she could claim that was hers.
When I finally resigned, she changed completely. She was very kind, sweet and complimented my work in front of her boss. She even took me out for a drink one night and offered to exchange “physical favours” if I stayed back.
The rest of the notice period was awkward, but I’m so glad I left that company.
Very different experience here. I’ve had 3 female managers out of 4. Each and every one has been absolutely phenomenal. But I think it also depends on the field of work. In product management you would find lots of women who are really good at what they do and are extremely empathetic.
I have had one female manager and she was the most sorted manager i ever had. Incredibly smart, and could handle blowups well (especially inter-team dynamics), and a very good mentor. Very solution oriented. Got assigned to her early in my career, and changed my perspective. I didn’t adapt all of her mannerisms when j became a manager, but some aspects were hugely beneficial.
High incidences of BPD in women is one cause, possibly also Narcissistic traits too
Absolutely agreed. My manager's were all female except 1. All were micro managers and power hungry. They were extremely rude, not empathetic at all . One of my female colleagues was pregnant in the 6 or 7th month. The situation was so bad, she had to resign because of this person. And then this manager was within her limits because of this incident.
I’ve noticed they cannot take criticism at all. They take it personally and make sure you regret critisising them
In my closed circle I have heard very horrific stories of how toxic females are in management compared to their male counterparts.
These are personal points & not facts. Would love to hear on what others have faced in their career paths!
What are you views on female engineering manager ? would love to see , please comment with i am <gender> and your view.
No difference. Both were good for nothing.
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