How to Forgive OneSelf?
A final year student
I made a lot of mistakes in my life Never ever worked hard to my fullest potential Didn't studied well even though I had potential during JEE Keep getting attracted to girls(very few times), even though I am training myself not to.
Becoming emotionally down often Feeling guilty of not being able to have someone to talk to.
What I simply want is to work to my fullest potential without getting attracted to the other gender so that there are no distractions and becoming mentally strong to the point that I don't need anyone else continuously present in my life for me.
There has to be a way Almost everyone around me are so strong My gut believes I don't have that much time left I just want to fix everything for my parents and my brother And leaving with a pride and honor of a MAN.
If you haven’t worked hard and know that, what is stopping you from working hard now?
Everyday I try to work, but the output isn't achieved, I am not moving closer to my perfect self, the only conclusion I have drawn is there is something missing a void to fill, and I unable to find it
Lol, perfect self ? No one is perfect in this world. Forget perfection, most people don't even excel. Chill out, and accept your human limitations, and settle for mediocrity, if necessary, and live a chill and happy life.
It's pointless to torture oneself over perfection or excellence. Try for contentment and happiness instead. This universe is billions of years old, while we exist only for a few decades. What will you possibly achieve, that is of any possible significance to this universe.
Just chill out, be happy, live your life, and don't torture yourself pointlessly over mirage of self-imagined unnecessary goals.
Also, from your post, it sounds like you might be suffering from anxiety and depression. Go see a psychiatrist, and get some medication. That will help you feel better and chill out a bit. Good luck, bro. Hang in there, and seek help, and things will get better.
Stop being so hard on yourself dude. If you work to your fullest potential then you start thinking that you should have paid attention to the some of the women in life. The yapping aside, all I try is to be better today than I was yesterday. Better tomorrow than today. This way I’m definitely using my potential.
I understand your perspective, But I can't ignore the fact that I am currently weak now. I look ugly, so that thing definitely puts a huge down on my self confidence. I am short (5ft 11) I am brown slightly more towards dark
Sometimes I get so low that I need someone to talk to But realisation hits and makes me low further
Sometimes I feel this shit is enough
But I can't even cry
5'11 is not short, you have a good advantage there. Go to gym and get fit ASAP. Girls will be lining up for you.
Don't need a lot of money to date decent people. Focus on yourself, start talking to women and learn to be friends with them first. No moves, no flirting, just friendship.
Step by step.
Buddy. Not going to sugar coat this.
If you know that you need to work hard - do it.
You hear voices and are anxious - go to a psychiatrist and get checked.
No one cares about your problems and probably no one here will do once they scroll to the next post.
Stop trying to seek for sympathy from internet to make your self feel better.
Not tryna be rude, but you are there for yourself only buddy. If you clearly know what you are missing , head down and keep doing the same thing.
Faster you realize this. Things gets much simpler. Probably you will even loose the thought that you “owe” something to your brother and parents.
And you are like in final year. Probably 20-21.
You have another 45-50 years at the least. Do the math and think logically on the “much time left” part.
Understood
Short, fair, dark, strong, weak are culturally, externally imbibed standards. Realistically speaking what can you do if you are not on the fairer side of skin colour, height is 5,11 or don't have thick black hair on your head?
None of us are perfect.
We are largely brought up in environments that focus on comparisons and imperfections. Till the time you allow societal, parental, or external influences to weigh yourself you will remain weak.
Accept who you are. Understand your weaknesses or can be better areas, evaluate your strengths or what you are good at. Ask around and you'll be surprised to know your own strengths. Self perceptions can sometimes be harsh.
Life is not a battle to be won everyday. Life is to be living and growing with imperfections, mistakes, failures. There's no fun in living if everything is just perfect and is as it should be.
Irrespective of what you have or don't have, pick one thing for the day focus on it and try to achieve that goal. One thing at a time, one day at a time. End of the day, evaluate your progress. You'll be surprised with all that you can do!
Everyday, make it a habit to write down your thoughts, as they come. Put everything in the head on paper.
Time is never in anyone's hands. What you have is today. Make the most of today.
Noted sir
Start a daily spiritual/meditative practice. Doing Hanuman Chalisa daily will help you a lot with self discipline, courage and mental strength.
Start working out as well, helps with self image and well-being.