FuzzyBanana
FuzzyBanana

Wife's obsession

Why are wives always obsessed about their parents and siblings and don't care about their in-laws? Is it happening for everyone or I'm the only one who has such a wife.

3mo ago
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ZestyNugget
ZestyNugget

Tell me how many husbands are NOT obsessed about their parents and siblings and care about their in-laws?

Expecting a born daughter to shift focus from birth family because she is married is what is wrong with society

Do better Mr Husband, she deserves better. Left her home for this mentality

FuzzyBanana
FuzzyBanana

I'm not saying that they should not be obsessed, if they show at least 50% of the obsession with their in-laws ,both the families will be happy. In this process men are going through a lot to bridge the gap and get the blamings 🥲

WobblyDonut
WobblyDonut

“Do better Mr Husband, she deserves better” mindset like this is what drives wedge in the family. When you married into a man’s family you need to invest more time in the beginning similar to a new company to get to know each other and gel faster. This is true for both men and woman but especially more for women because they move in to the man’s home. Instead of becoming the daughter where she is going, women like you stick to women side of the family and that bond never grows with in laws. Overtime you force the men to not live with parents and in-laws are like guests in their own son’s house. These so called wife’s tag along men when they achieved success, have well paying job and settled while the reason for man’s success in today’s society is their parents and their own hard work. There was a time people used to call “Behind every successful man there is a women” now this has changed to “Women only goes behind a successful man”. Additional the laws favour women in this country. This country is doomed for coming generations

PeppyDonut
PeppyDonut

She has spent around 25+ years with them and has special connection with them.

Inlaws may or may not be nice to her. They may expect her to behave or work in certain way.

FuzzyBanana
FuzzyBanana

Let me tell you this, I married a girl from my village only. Whenever we go home she spends 50% of time at their home and remains at my home. If she is in my home she always goes to her home again and again and if she is at her home she will never come to my home. What should I call this and how to deal with this kind of situation

PeppyDonut
PeppyDonut

I assume you are not living in your village, but visit on occasions.

So it is quite natural for her to visit her home as long as possible.

Now the thing either she hasn't spent much time with your parents to have a bond or there is some negative energy either from your parents or from her.

Bro talk to her and find the cause of problem.
Take her to village fields for morning or evening walks. Make her feel at home. Ask her what would she likes to eat in village. Take her to show nice things arround you village or near by cities.

And more importantly don't feel she doesn't like your home, trust me it will create negative vibes between the two of you.

If your parents are strict tell them to give her space and love. And you be respectful to her.

ZoomyBoba
ZoomyBoba
CGI3mo

Bro, first of all, wrong choice of words - obsession is not a good word to use.

Secondly, as you said, when she goes to her home, she doesn't come back, that's but natural, that's the place she's grown up in, there's a comfort level attached. If you guys were giving her that homely treatment, I see no point why she'd not show interest. I've seen women loving the in-laws equally where they are treated nice and with respect.

But since you are the husband, take the onus of discussing this with your wife, AS HER HUSBAND AND NOT AS YOUR MOM'S SON and try to understand what's lacking. I am sure you'll figure it out. :)

ZoomyQuokka
ZoomyQuokka

+1

FuzzyHamster
FuzzyHamster

How much do you care about your in laws? She spend 50% of time at your home but do you spend 50% time at her home? Have you ever made a cup of tea for her mom like you must be expecting from her. Just rise above patriarchy and things will look normal to you. Else you may end ruining a pretty good marriage for no reason. She is a person and she has a life beyond meeting your expectations.

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