Because you are not eating samosas!! Maybe

Software Developer

Account Manager

Software Engineer

Internal Audit

🥲

🥲- Grapevine

I am an average software developer in India from Tier 2 city with average income. Every day I watch a new piece of interesting tech being launched with half of my salary price tag. Today I was watching these Brilliant AI glasses and wanted to see if I can even afford that or not.
I don't know what kind of rant I am writing but I am really frustrated of watching things being launched that I cannot purchase. Hell I cannot even purchase a Chat GPT subscription although I earn around 60-70k (I come from a really poor family so 60-70% of my income goes to loans etc)

FOMO with the latest technologies.

Every day we are struggling to get ourselves in a better state than the previous day but still we are totally anxious about how the health of us or our family members will be.

I am earning a lot when compared to what other people at age of 24 are doing, graduated from IIT and working on my terms at well established companies, but still there is so much anxiety which I have inside me.

My father passed away when I was 17 and during the same time my maternal grandmother passed away, both from cancer while putting big anxiety in my mind that is my life all safe, healthy and sound.
Being the eldest child of the family I have worked and have reached a good position in the last few years to take care of my family financially, and we are getting financially so much better than we were before, most of our dreams are getting true.

But I am not happy, not at all. I have reached a state where I am earning a lot given what is needed but I still can't be happy about anything I have. I cry, I get super anxious and idk why. Any news of pain or small change in the health of my family triggers me, and similarly with mine.

I constantly live under fear that something bad will happen whenever we all get happy, when we are laughing I get scared on how long this laugh really is. It's scary to the point I am constantly searching on internet symptoms and things of all the worst diseases possible. Nazar, black magic all seems real to me and that relatives are really behind us if we get lil better than them.

I have constantly tried to have a very positive outlook towards life, enjoy whatever days I have and live my life to the fullest but it's not easy, your family is always what you will work for and what to see them the happiest and more importantly healthy.

I will stop consuming insta and focus on having moments with them instead of scrolling through all the people suffering in life.

I workout regularly and have a relatively fitter body.

Lets see what life holds for me.

How difficult I have made life

Welcome to Personal Finance's Private Community

I have observed this( at least with my self) that whatever goals you set for your self ( X salary, Y net worth etc etc.) once you're there it becomes ordinary extremely fast and it starts feeling normal again and on you go towards the next milestone.
I was wondering when does this end? Do any of you have reached a point where you don't have the lust for more? You're happy with what you have? 
Did you do something actively to make that mindset? Or were you a "satisfied with what you have" kind of a person all your life?

How do you fight the consistent dissatisfaction?

Backend Engineer

Lately I have came across a thought that anyone and everyone in this world is unhappy whether they are those who have achieved everything and those who have not. 

Previously I was very competitive about each and everything in my life now slowly losing the zeal and have started questioning why and what I'm running behind and then if I get something that I desperately wanted will I be happy and the answer i got from within is a big no. 

So, basically it is a false thing in itself which we call life in which we are revolving around never ending loops wanting to achieve one thing or the other only till we achieve it.

Please share your views.

Can one ever get happy in life?

I have been a little caught up with numerous things in my life lately and have finally found some free time to open up myself to new experiences. 

I had a wishlist of shows and movies that I wanted to watch but as soon as I start watching them, I get bored and feel like turning it off. 

No, its not the content
No, its not the genre
No, its not the actors
No, its not the taste either

This is pretty ironic as considering the fact that I have spent a fair share of my youth chasing academics and career, my heart had always craved for life experiences. I had to let go of the woman I loved simply because I was too focussed on my JEE. I wont be able to forgive myself for that EVER. It almost felt like I had lost a limb, without which , I would be rendered disfunctional. Thats a separate story tho.

Nothing excites me (yep nothing)
Nothing amuses me 
Nothing feels lively

I have no clue where my life is headed

I understand that as we age, our triggers of happiness change. I have put concious efforts into knowing what those new triggers are. But I cant find any plausible sources of happiness.

I am performing pretty well with my career.
Even got a double digit hike.
But didnt feel that kick of joy.

Have I approached a dead end?

Losing Interest In New Things

Data engineer

Welcome to Software Engineers's Private Community

Everyone seems so lonely , i just see loneliness on each and every individual. I don't know why , i think because I'm lonely  thats the reason i see loneliness all around . I feel no body is happy or sad. But tired of everything. we cannot be consistent for anything whether it's studies , job , relationship , marriage . We want change in everything every now and then . But with same time we want a home where we can find our comfort. Where we can find our people.  Why humans are like this .why can't e be satisfied. We are humans we want people with same time we don't let people enter in our life .just nothing seems goood.

Nothing is Good or Bad

Analyst

I am 21 years old. I have good offers (20lac+) from good companies, but I am not happy.

I always feel that something is missing in life, I don't know what and why I feel so.

I tried to get in a relationship, but whenever I express this feeling, things get bad between both of us. I really want to love and get loved.

I have been living my life alone for about 3 years now. I want to make friends, and I want to be in a relationship, but the last 3 years have not been nice to me because of which I don't like going out and having fun.

I was in a depression and a workaholic nerd for the past years and feel that now I have got wired in such a way which is not letting me have fun and enjoy life.

I find myself lonely.

Whenever I don't have anything to work on, I get anxious, and I get this question, what am I doing with life.

Maybe I am feeling lonely while writing this post and may sound little gone case.

Open to your suggestions, do share your stories if you have been through this phase.

Is it normal to feel like this?

How to be happy?

you don't want to change your current life with someone, you look to or aspire to. Huh.....what?  Assumption: Given the chance to exchange life with anyone in the world.

Why would you still choose yourself? 
Or you will exchange with someone? Who and Why?  

Interesting thought, right? Please think for a while, introspect wisely. 

(Personally, I look to and aspire a few but I cannot/won't  exchange with anyone. WTF is wrong with me with my miserable life. Trust me, I have a miserable life, enough to have rice daily, and already failed at what I always wanted to be since sixth grade. Now, I am just trying to do what I am good at and struggling with, frustrating on a daily basis.)

Aren't you the most happy person if;

Solution Architect

A final year student

I made a lot of mistakes in my life
Never ever worked hard to my fullest potential
Didn't studied well even though I had potential during JEE
Keep getting attracted to girls(very few times), even though I am training myself not to.

Becoming emotionally down often
Feeling guilty of not being able to have someone to talk to.

What I simply want is to work to my fullest potential without getting attracted to the other gender so that there are no distractions and becoming mentally strong to the point that I don't need anyone else continuously present in my life for me.

There has to be a way
Almost everyone around me are so strong
My gut believes I don't have that much time left
I just want to fix everything for my parents and my brother
And leaving with a pride and honor of a MAN.

How to Forgive OneSelf?

I noticed a pattern in myself. I chase a goal, I achieve it, be elated about achieving that goal for a few hours (A few days at best, if it's some really really great achievement), and everything feels the same again
I'm off thinking about the next thing. Once I've got it, my mind just goes "this wasn't such a big deal". I got a pretty nice rank in NEET UG and also cracked the internship at Microsoft. I have won hackathons. I have overcome my shyness about talking to strangers. I have a lot of things to be proud of. I came really close to killing myself but have managed to live on, and this is my greatest achievement by far. I just wish I could be happy.

Why doesn't anything feel worth it anymore

Does your self confidence and self esteem decrease when you feel others around you are much better in every sense, do you feel overwhelmed, do you feel that you should keep quiet, do you feel insecure and vulnerable, if yes how do you tackle it.

Isn't it mentally straining for you to be physically present at such places while experiencing such emotions?

Please share your views.

Self believe?

Do all late 20s (28-29 years) men face the same issues mentioned below? 


1. Parents getting old- you don't want to see your loved ones getting old 
2. Single earning member 
3. Staying away from parents sucks as they need us more now.
4. Paying rent 30-40% of total in-hand salary in metro cities. 
5. Less friends, even if you have more friends you don't want to express what you are going through. 
6. No emergency fund- Agar koi emergency ayi to dosto ko paise mangne padenge.
7. Job switch - As the market is unstable, so you're afraid to switch and get laid off.
8. You want everyone around you to be happy, as your happiness depends on their happiness. 
9. Unable to express what you are going through to people around you (wife, parents, friends, relatives etc)
10. Happy Wife Happy Life - You try to do things out of the box (which is beyond your reach) because it makes her happy. 
11. What about our happiness?
12. Many more....

I'm going through this now. Sometimes I feel like I should talk to a person (who is anonymous to me and I'm anonymous to him/her) and express everything that is depressing me.

Late 20s Issues

System Engineer

So I have been looking for projects in my company for around 2 months now.
I gave 4-5 interviews and got rejected in L1 interviews in all for one or the other reason.
Today, after so many days I got a chance to give client interview (happens after L1 interview...in case someone has no idea about it). It lasted 50 mins and I didn't perform well.
After feeling down for about an hour, I'm not feeling well.
I have observed myself that whenever I'm sad/down...I automatically gets better after few hours.
I should be feeling sad for loosing the chance that I got after 2 months but I'm like ....it's alright 🙃

Is this some sort of healing mechanism that my brain has created for me or I'm not sincere or serious about my life??

Is something wrong with me?

I never had a gf in my life. Loved lot of girls, asked 2 but was rejected. Still looking for someone, although nothing solid yet.

But now I have grown paranoid of relationships.  Now I don't believe if someone will love me back. If I do find someone who shows interest, I feel like they will leave me eventually so I don't go ahead. 

I am stuck in a catch 22 situation, I cannot trust someone but I also need someone. I have tried telling myself that I don't need anyone, I should focus on my goals and dreams. And I do focus, but then it comes back to me. I get lovesick and I can't go on. I exercise daily, work on daily tasks, practise for interview as I am planning to switch, play badminton with friends. And still when the day ends, I feel need to hold hands with someone. Don't misunderstand this for loneliness, I love being alone and I prefer to be that most of the time. When I want to have some company, i go eat, play with friends. I have tried finding different cures for this feeling, like exercise, games, friends but nothing has worked out yet. 

It's not even sadness, it's just empty void. 

How do you get rid of this emotion?

How to not be needing someone

Systems Engineer

Ive lost interest in everything in life. No hobbies, no friends, no office. Only work or babysitting. I keep on searching for things on amazon that would make me happy! I find nothing! I earn good but I don’t understand how to spend it( filled my kids toy room but now its too much toys for me to manage) Anxiety , panic attacks and stress! I really keep worrying what would happen if i get fired . Ironically I worry where to spend when I get salary. I feel I have zero wants except basic needs. Maybe I just want a peaceful life without stress. I am so confused.This was what I always wanted, fat cheque ,fancy title and a lovely kid.But I am unhappy! Drowning in responsibilities, in sesrch of happiness, in search of me!

In seach of happiness in life!

Project Manager

Welcome to Indian Startups's Private Community

I earn a decent living ~32LPA as a Software Engineer. I really enjoy my work and it is always a joy working with smart people around you. 

I sometimes wonder if I didn't exist would it matter in the world. At work, I come up with great ideas and insights which my peers appreciate and support, but there hasn't been one thing that they took seriously and moved ahead with. 

My peers around me constantly belittle me, some unprofessional jokes about my competence and intellect, even though I am actually good at what I do and more. 

The backhanded compliments and sarcastic replies in front of other people in my company makes me sad beyond belief. It is almost like I give so much of time to this company and although everyone cares about the work I do but no one cares about me. 

My colleagues constantly try to one-up themselves by bullying juniors and laughing in their glass-walled conference walls. 

Incidents like these make me want to give up on work. I think the mix of giving all of myself at work(intensity and long hours), constant berating on my competence and the time I spend away from my family and "real" friends(not these fake work colleagues) makes me depressed as fuck. 

I am now understanding that you can never be happy in life because you can never have all that you want. You will give up something for the other. You think making more money will make you happier but you will just end up losing your sanity.

You can never be happy

Hang in there, friend. I can assure you that you can find happiness in the workplace. What you're experiencing is common but definitely not the norm. There are many places out there where people are decent and you wouldn't be treated so pathetically. I hope you find the opportunity to move out and cut yourself off from the vile people at your present employer.

Data Scientist

I have been in this industry for 4 years now and there is not a single day that i hated this place any less. Today 9th August 2023 i am all alone in my room thinking to myself about what’s the point of this? 

I have no life i am all alone and tbh i have no real friends. A few of them that i do have are so far away from me busy in their life. No love life no social life. At 27 i feel wasted, done, finished let me clarify not in a suicidal way. I just feel exhausted my body is breaking down by the day i feel. I am just broken at this point and feel like quitting this profession altogether. I just don’t feel happy. The more i work the more irritated and frustrated i get.
To top all that i have no one to share my emotions with here. Call it whatever you may wanna call a cry for help, a rant or nonsense. I am at that point where every morning feels like punishment. Every night that i go to bed i try to stay positive but i am not able to. I just hate everything. 
I am not a lazy man i work for 10-12 hours everyday and i think now that has finally got to me as i feel finished.
I don’t know if anyone will read it or not i just wanted to reach out to people or anyone who feels like me. Broken tired and just done with everything.

Can anyone explain me what’s the point

I’m a very private person and I was a bit confused whether I should write here or not, but anyway.

So, day before yesterday I was sitting on my chair after dinner and was thinking about my life and what the hell am I doing.

I realised that,
Saala bachpan se aaj tak race me hi bhaag raha hun. Pehle school me 1st, 2nd, 3rd aane ki race me. Then acche college milne ki race me. Then uske baad acchi job milne ki race me. Then uske baad agar ladki chahiye toh uske liye bhi ek race hai (Don’t have a gf, plz don’t take me wrong, it was a realisation)

My current daily routine is like this:
Wakeup everyday, write code, go gym, dinner, and then sleep and repeat this cycle everyday.

School ke dost peeche chhoot gaye, college ke dost apni life me busy ho gaye, colleagues se main zyada baat nhi karta and main akela padh gaya.

Feels like life is not intriguing anymore, it has no spark left. Its so painful to live everyday.

I feel like I don’t want to live any more, I want to die but I can’t cuz of 2 reasons.
1. I’m the only son of my parents.
2. If I die like this, then I won’t be able to come out from the birth cycle.

That’s it
🙏🏼

This week’s introspection

Bhai kaafi same lag raha hai. 
 Idk kaha rehte ho tum, kitna kamate ho, wagerah but ek baat bolunga - start walking. Kabhi main street pe walk lagao, kabhi subah, kabhi kahin. Hum Jo ek jagah baithke sochte hai, vo chalte chalte bhi soch hi sakte lekin kaafi nayi cheezein dekhne milegi. Kuch aisa milega Jo vapas layega interest, I hope aisa ho

General Manager

Not a troll post promise. I am 16 years old, about to enter my dream college MIT (US wala). I'm already making over 8 crore per month pre tax, and deciding on going to college. I'm bored of life already. I feel I'm surrounded by dimwits and thoroughly mediocre plebians which has made me an introvert. I don't relate to anyone my age due to the obvious income gap.

Feeling unfulfilled. Is it all that's there to life? Help me. I don't think what I'm making is enough, but I have to suffer the bane of existence. I have to make do with only silk pillows instead of pure gold. What's next? 100 cr? Will that ever be enough?

Serious replies only please.

Woe is me

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

I am currently in college. 
I don't know why, but I constantly need to be around people to feel happy, otherwise I feel depressed. I feel I don't have any value and will have any value only if someone else approves me.

I fear going for lunch or dinner alone. I fear people will judge me if they see me alone.

I am scared to be lonely. Why?

🥲

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