Time will heal everything. 
 Don't react and make things worse.

Product Designer

a. Basic: Stop being in such situations. 
 b. Intermediate: Try to avoid getting agitated by such situations  
  
 If you get agitated and cry, it's kinda normal. Just do it in a bathroom or somewhere private.

Software Engineer

Love yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror and embrace yourself. Tell yourself you’re sorry to yourself and you love yourself. It’s cliche but worked for me. I had major self image issues and angst.

Content Strategist

Tears come out when your heart is gone through a real pain or when you find something abnormal from the ppl you care. Tearing out is actually a good sign. The heart releases the pain through the form of tears. You might have felt the easiness/relieved after you cried a lot. Some ppl are very emotional to get tears in their eyes in some situations. It happens to me also sometimes. Just try to be strong in this situation and don't take everything personally.

Human Resources

When those angry and frustrated tears come out, people think I am emotionally hurt, and inherently weak. Ironically, they are far from the truth. In reality I want to break something or someone's f...

When those angry and frustrated tears come out, people think I am emotionally hurt, and inherently weak. Ironically, they are far from the truth. In reality I want to break something or someone's face because of the shit situation. But as I have to be civil and can't carry out the elaborate scene that my brain has conjured, the anger and frustration keep bubbling up. And as the body has to maintain its freaking equilibrium it resorts to release the anger and frustration in form of those damn tears. I freaking hate it when this happens. 

Tell me how do I stop the shitty tears from escaping when I find myself in an already messed up situation?!

Need help! Any time I am super angry or frustrated, those damn tears find a way out. How do I stop it?

Need help! Any time I am super angry or frustrated, those damn tears find a way out. How do I stop it?- Grapevine

Not really sure if this is the right place to put this up but I wanted to take it out somewhere. I happened to be in a road rage recently. There was this Rapido/Uber biker who was driving rashly. I had seen him but didn’t bother and I was going my way. Suddenly, he overtook me from left and his handle hit on my bike handle. I shouted in panic and he was saying some random shit looking at me - You need to watch out, bro.. something like that.
I was safe and don’t think even the bike had any damage but I lost my calm and wanted to kind of scold him for how he was riding. I followed him driving rashly again for about 500m and caught up and shouted at him saying - bhai shanti se chala or nahi chalana aata hai toh kyun chala rhe ho. And I realised I was about to head on hit an auto wala but braked on time. That auto wala started giving me hand gestures. He was right. I did drive rash.

In the meanwhile, that biker guy went crazy. He got off his bike, took his helmet and signalled at hitting me. The auto wala was standing beside me and he asked what was happening. I said this guy hit my bike and tried to run away. The biker was speaking some rubbish something like - I warned you there also bro.. I went a little numb and didn’t figure what was happening. This guy hit me with his hand on my helmet. I didn’t get hurt but felt the blow. I tried saying something but nothing came out. He hit me again the same way. The auto wala tried to stop him. He kept abusing and then left. I was numb for a few mins. Left from there and reached home safe. 

I am just not able to get these thoughts off my head. The incident keeps flashing. I feel lucky to not have removed my helmet, tried to hit him back because I don’t know what that could have led to. It was clearly my mistake that I lost my calm and followed him in the first place knowing he was a rapido biker. I don’t know why I did that - may be work stress or may be some other trauma. I have been bullied at times in my childhood when I

Road rage, regrets and thoughts!

Product Owner

I turned 30 last month and I still feel i am a 20 year old. I lost the last 4 years of my life working from home and have started to go to office recently. I never worked together in a team, never been out for team lunches/dinners, never presented my work to the seniors/leadership. I have 4.5 years experience on the paper and my interaction with colleagues in person has been almost zero .

I don’t know how to do my taxes, can’t do basic servicing of my bike, extremely indiscipline’s, rarely track my expenses, can’t say ‘No’, haven’t upskill we and hence stuck in TCS, can’t stick to a hobby or interest, pathetic in managing my time, have no sense of punctuality, socially awakened, overweight with a pot belly and hence have confidence issues, can’t take care of myself in terms of self grooming, couldn’t maintain friendships as I used  to get offended when someone made fun of me or mocked me- my inflated ego is just useless. 

I can’t control my emotions, I sometimes get emotional and have tears in my eyes, I show emotions easily on my face, not smart when it comes to dealing with others, don’t know how much to talk to whom, whom to talk to, how to talk to and when to talk.

I’ve been told I’m pessimistic and highly negative about myself but I’m just saying things the way it is.
I have no responsibilities on life. I’ll be getting married the next year and I know I can take up the responsibility. But I still have the fear of putting my fiancé down. I love her a lot and I never even  would do anything to put her down.

My bad time management skills, inability to focus, getting distracted badly, being a slow learner, not networking, not having idea on making switches regularly, being too lazy and impatient to learn new things, not being updated in terms of on demand skills, tools , technologies, reluctance to learn something new and hence staying in comfort zone has screwed up my career.

I feel stuck and lost in life.
I honestly don’t know what to do.

Being a man child at the age of 30

How did you deal with a breakup when you were working?
I feel like I should take a break from everything but I really can't afford to lose my job.
My mind's become hell.

Dealing with breakup

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

Hi Guys, I'm an SDE and I have this weird problem where I stress too much when some work is given to me which I don't understand.

Basically I'm not scared of high workload, as long as I know how to do it. Because then I know IT WILL BE DONE, I just have to work to finish it.

But when I get stuck on a problem, I DONT KNOW IF IT WILL BE DONE, I just keep thinking about it even if I close my laptop. The more I think, the more scary the problem becomes and then I start thinking if it continues and I'm not able to deliver more work, I might get fired and then during background verification for the next company, they will see I was fired and then no one will hire me. Basically my thoughts spiral out of control and make my life miserable to the point where I don't feel hungry.

If I'm confident I'm very confident, I feel like i can do any problem but when I see myself failing multiple times, i lose my mental strength

I need help and I want to improve this nature, not get stressed when things go south. Do you guys feel the same or know how to handle it

Any books or words of wisdom or thought process that you follow which helps you deal with job related work stress will be extremely helpful.

Strange work anxiety

At the risk of sounding weak, this has become more and more rampant with me.

It feels as if I am living someone's elses life.

Somedays I just feel like living a life thats pointless. These are the days when I feel very prone to these emotional impulses of sudden "lonlinesss" (despite having few of the most amazing people in my life) or "emptiness" or "anti-gratitude/self-destruction". So much mental lethargy behing these useless chain of thoughts.

Am I the only one? Have I lost it? Am I sensitive? Is it a bad thing? Am I overworked? Am I too critical about my thoughts? 

Man this is so confounding.

How to control sudden outbursts of emotional anxiety ?

Data engineer

Welcome to Software Engineers's Private Community

Not having a good day and something unexpected happened at work. Feeling angry and helpless at the same time.

What is your fav. way to vent out?

Hi, I’ve been feeling a lot overwhelmed lately and haven’t been able to cry (watching Tamasha on the week didn’t work either). I wanna know when and why the last time you broke down.

When was the last time you broke down?

I currently work in a project that is driven by CEO and he is very intimidating. I work my ass off to make sure he gets what expects but today he was especially aggressive during the call. After the call I asked him to wait up for two mins and started telling him that I am getting intimidated by him. Although he was nice to me when I confronted him, now I am feeling embarrassed because I broke down a little when I spoke. Tears started flowing and I am feeling like a weak person. Just fyi I am an adult male.

I ended up breaking down in front of my CEO

It's ok to express your emotions.  Especially in times of stress / duress.  
  
 You'll be fine.  
  
 It's also important to sometimes define boundaries - if that was the intent of your talk with him today.  It's feedback and if he is an understanding leader, he'll give you your space and time.

Sales Manager

Product Marketing Manager

Maybe because getting angry at someone is a way to avoid facing what's going on with yourself

Growth Manager

I feel my life is extremely difficult after demise of my beloved father at the age he should have  not left us this early he was 51 and now without him my life is just extremely difficult in all aspects  , people around me , relatives , career aspect marriage aspect future everything just scares me and  i feel i cannot reach out to anyone for my help not even my mother with my problems I feel if i reach out to anyone they just shut it like dont overthink , please stop with your negativity I just dont know how to get on with life He was like shield to us Now i dont know even me , my mom , my sibling has changed like anything Nothing feels good anymore

Loosing a parent

Analyst 

So I might get some hate for this. I know this is weakness and the feedback I've gotten is toughen up. But I've never known how.
 Is there anyone else whose body and mind had accepted that they're not going to amount to anything but fought their way through it? Can you tell me your story? Or give me any book suggestions?

I shut down under pressure

My advice is simple. Spite. Hate the situation so much that you come out of that, or conquer it with pure spite. The Hatred of ever being found in such a situation will propel you towards success.

Product Manager

Software Developer

Hi everyone,
So in the week, I’m chill in office but on the weekend , I’m completely lonely and I live near airport because office, and I don’t have enough money to afford a vehicle and the whole clothes washing drying takes up the whole Saturday cause living in a pg. 
I’m on the verge of crying every Saturday night and Sunday and felt like a dead person throughout. Sunday I’m coding cause looking for a job change and parents about to retire. So I’m looking for some trustworthy friends to help me grow and with whom I can be happy with.
Would be grateful if someone help me in improving the quality of life.
Thanks in advance

Diagnosed as borderline depressed

Welcome to IT Company Discussion's Private Community

I am getting irritated with small small issues/mistake by my Team or by me. 
How to develop thick skin in IT world? What should be my thinking?

Sorry, last year I came from a very small town to Pune. 
Here people have thick skin to all the mistakes they do, or the mistakes done by management.
Also people are carefree for any work pressure . 

While me get into anxiety in everytime. 

How to be a strong mental person in so much chaos.

How to be mentally strong while working under pressure.

Senior Associate

It's great that younger men are recognizing this as a problem. The solution becomes easier from here.

Read a report on senior couples: 60% of men consider their wives to be their best friends, while only 30% of women say the same for their husbands. Women tend to have more diverse relationships, with husbands, kids, extended family, and friends. This is one reason why you see widows managing life better than widowers. In couples married for 50 years or more, men often pass away soon after their wives.

Another example is when kids get into relationships or marry for love, their mothers often have adverse reactions. This can happen when fathers don't emotionally attend to the family (or don't know), and mothers become overly attached to their kids because that's their only source of attention and love.

In the Ranbir Kapoor x Nikhil Kamath podcast, Ranbir talks about his father's last days. Rishi Kapoor would come to him in tears, ruminating on his life and regrets. Ranbir had never seen his father like this and didn't know how to react.
Haven't you heard men say someone was crying and they didn't know how to help?

Men haven't seen emotions expressed openly, because at home, their fathers, "the breadwinners," couldn't slack off, admit mistakes, or show weakness. They don't know how to show love to their wives and kids, even if they love them deeply.

How can we change this pattern and raise a generation of men who are emotionally intelligent and expressive?

[Long Post] Not teaching men to express emotions has hurt society more than we realize

Consultant

Welcome to Data Scientists's Private Community

I just found out today I’ve been cheated on by my long term girlfriend who I lived with. Turns out she’s been cheating for a few months but she’s only just told me now because she’s fallen out of love for me and she’s fallen in love with him, so she’s leaving me for him.

She says I neglected giving her the attention she needed because I was so focused on work I forgot to do the nice things for her like bring her flowers, or take her out for dinner or to just show her how much I loved her.

Even though I’m so heart broken and haven’t stopped crying, I do forgive her because it’s true my work hours were bad and because we lived together I kept thinking in my head “it’s fine, ill make it up to her next time”. 

Plus, I was planning to quit my job once bonus comes at the end of this year to find a more chilled job so I could spend more time with her, I truly am ready to leave my job and that was my plan so I was just holding out until then. But now I won’t have the chance because she said its too late she has already lost interest in me and loves him.

But this guy is a software engineer at a FAANG company earning 60-70L a year whilst only having to work 9-5 so he’s richer and has more free time to give her attention. Actually she said he only works around 3 hours per day, he does around 1 hour in morning then 2 hours after lunch and for the rest of the day he’s free to spend time with her, and his company doesn’t notice or mind. So this guy earns almost 3x my compensation for only 3 hours a day meanwhile I’m working 12 hours a day 

She would sneak out whilst I was at work to go on dates with him or round his house and then she would come back to my home in my bed in time for when I arrived from work so I wouldn’t notice. 

Now I feel really broken, I’m in no mental state to be working I can’t think about anything else I have deadline for work today and I’m just sat here crying writing this post. I know men are meant to be strong and hold our emotions together but I really am sad.

I want to ask for 3 days sick leave at work but I don’t know if this normal and acceptable to do? Given most sick leave would be for grievances like the death of a loved one etc.

or am I being a cry baby and I should man up and continue to work?

Data Scientists on Grapevine: Should I Ask For Sick Leave After Being Cheated On

Stop comparing yourself with the new guy, take a few days off and go on a vacation. Given that she lived with you, it must be a strong connection which would take quite a long time to wear off. You'll learn to live with it in a few months. All the best and take care

Need help! Any time I am super angry or frustrated, those damn tears find a way out. How do I stop it?

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