Hello Everyone, Not sure if I should post this may delete later. I am going through some psychological pressure now a days due to family situations. Before moving forward I want to mention that I b...

Welcome to Mental Well-being's Private Community

Hello Everyone, Not sure if I should post this may delete later.
I am going through some psychological pressure now a days due to family situations.
Before moving forward I want to mention that I belong to a middle class family currently not having own house and vehicle also. I am living in a rented apartment with my family members Papa , mummy and elder brother. My father is retired from last 10 yrs and my elder brother was working in a telecom company 2 yrs back ( Currently not working anywhere from past 2 yrs and earlier company got bankrupt so did not paid salary also from 2.5 yrs ). It seems my brother confidence got loose or he is not able to find another job as he was in the same company from past 10 yrs. 2 yrs back a bad thing happened with him that his engagement cancelled with so and so reason. Now he even seems not interested in looking for job and only reading some books in mobile or watching video. My parents are very tensed about his marriage and always tell me about it as he don't talk much to anyone neither friend nor family.

I am totally lost that how should I handle this situation. Any suggestions from the people who has seen or experience this kind of situation.

Thanks in advance for your response🙏

Not Sure How I can come out of this🥲

Software Developer

Not Sure How I can come out of this🥲- Grapevine

I am 28 M.

I was born in a poor family and to make matters worse my father was diagnosed with a terminal illness when I was still in college.

As if watching my father dying was not enough I came to know that my mother was having an affair with my father's friend. I never caught them but I saw their whatsapp messages.

My father eventually succumbed to his illness leaving the family responsibilities on my shoulders.

I never got to enjoy college. My first paycheck was spent on the medical bills and subsequent paychecks were spent on clearing my brother's education loan, paying back relatives (we borrowed some money for my father's treatment) and just taking care of my family.

I want to get married but honestly I don't have any money for it now and I don't want to take a loan.

I never had any relationship. It could never become a priority.

And it's not about just sex. It's something deeper. Maybe intimacy, maybe human touch, maybe something else. I don't know.

I tried hard to focus on my work and hobbies but It merely proved to be a temporary escape.

I don't even know why I am narrating all this to a bunch of strangers but then again aren't we all in the same boat at the end?

Feeling frustrated and lost in life.

Welcome to Confessions's Private Community

I know gv isn't pych therapy. Aahh but still who cares?

You know what it means to be a middle class Indian family girl? It means you can't be ambitious, you have to be married by 25 and be pregnant by 30 and for God sakes you can't have a divorce even if your Husband is half gay and has been facing erectile dysfunctions for years and doesn't have interest in sex! I thought of suicide and was almost about to cut my wrists when I thought of my Parents. 

But still if you open up to your Parents they would say shut your trap and be supportive. But still I flew away from my Husband and got a divorce.

Half the time I wish I were born as a boy or never at all or had cut myself or had opted for foreign education even if I am the only child caring for my parents.

I know life sucks most of the time. I know it's ok to divorce a guy with mommy issues. Is it ok to come back to your own home and know you don't have any space or room for yourself, where you have grown up? Is it ok to come back home and be lonely? Is it ok to come back home and still can't sleep and need sleeping pills even if it's only for a few months as you can't bear to see the disappointment in their eyes?

I know life isn't fair. But if Mother or Parents aren't supportive of their only child, then hell yeah, I don't care too... But it's easy to say.. Very hard to implement... 


So for all men or women who are facing such issues... Just learn that sometimes people even if it's your family don't understand your problems "Ignorance is bliss!" And yes be selfish... People will talk trash no matter how much you care... 

Enjoy your life! Happy Dussehra! And let's hope next year we all will find our goals in our life! 😊

Choices for the crappy life

Associate Manager

Big post rant !!!

32 years old Male, born and brought up in UP.
Parents native to Karnataka, post bachelor’s got job in Microsoft on third party payroll working as support engineer for Azure Identity.

Wanted to prove my worth to the organisation and make my parents proud, unfortunately things turned out bad had to leave in a years time.

8years into the industry i see my batchmates my friends and younger ones making 4X money at minimum what i make currently (16LPA), married but again things are not turning well for me.. I have lost all interest from life don’t feel like going out, learning new things no hobbies also just working on office tasks since it provides paycheques.

I really feel like I am left behind and will always be left behind. I know life’s not fair but I just have lost it at all corners of my life.

Its just that i am living for my parents !!

Lost in Life !!

I will tell you a real life incident. One of my batchmates was an average guy, okayish in studies. He even got an job with very low pay. He left the job to try for government exams or business. After couple of years gap he joined a small private organisation again. Worked hard and moved to another organisation. Now after all these years he is working in Europe at a handsome salary, married and lives a good life. Point being, everyone’s life clock is different. You may feel stuck today but tomorrow might be better.

Consultant

Welcome to IT Company Discussion's Private Community

I know it's not a good platform to share a personal story but wanted to express myself. I am a software engineer with decent earnings working in Accenture and going to join Deloitte! My family environment is getting worse because of my father's drinking habit. We are not able have a normal topic with happy moment. Every-time I tried to have a discussion it gets into bad fight. I already had a pretty hard heart break and only option I have is family where I am not able to make things right. I am feeling as a failed as a child and not having any expectations from future. I am tired of toxic environment not sure till when I can handle this. I don't want to have any partner in my life as they will face things which I am facing. I suppose leaving life alone is good for me. Alone and happy.

I know sharing this will not change anything. Just wanted to tell everyone keep your family first priority. Without family high paying job will also not give any satisfaction.🙂

Don’t feel to get a married life, feeling like got stuck in life.

Hello I am a 26 years old female who works in a IT company, but meanwhile I am stuck with my life neither my job nor my relationship is going well, I am actually not so "relationship" type i am kinda marriage type of person, ❤️ I love someone who is from middle class and I am ready to settle if he is earning 40k even but what matters is love and understanding of both of person,

Recently I am facing issues in my relationship like he is ready to leave me if the situation is not in future, and while I am not getting any future security from him i really feel anxious and getting panic attacks each day, I am not able to sleep properly 

Meanwhile, I am saying no to projects in my company and I am not showing any willingness to work further, honestly no body is there to guide me what should I do, my mom she supports me but I am unable to sleep properly in night and each and everyday I am crying and crying, not eating properly, i really need ur suggestion guys 

Please  if anyone can suggest me or anything i should know i will be very grateful.........

Need suggestion

Systems Engineer

Welcome to Product Managers's Private Community

I am working as a senior product manager in a fintech startup. I am under a lot of stress due to work pressure, continuous badgering from business and tech stakeholders and loneliness. I always think of going home but staying in stressful job mainly because I don't want to be jobless. I can only post my views here anonymously because I don't want to be seen as loser. Request members if they can provide their suggestions.

PS : As far as my profile is concerned it's B tech + MBA from tier 1 college and 3 years of tech experience followed by 7 yrs into Product Management and living alone in Bangalore.

Deteriorating mental health

Product Manager

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

Heya... 
New to this app... 
Experiencing a hard life like others (in this era mostly are struggling) been in a serious relationship it's been 5 years all things are going good but family is not convinced for marriage my side family is good with it but other end family is problematic it's like if this marriage happens they all will die n blah blah this is basically drowning me mentally apart from this complicated job not have good terms with my manager somehow he is trying me leave this job by myself..... So my question after stucking in so much things how to live life

Stuck in relationship and job issues

Finance Operations

29F, I still stay with my parents
Working, earning >1lpm, remote work

Over the years, I have realised I own no assets. 
Everything has been bought by parents EVERYTHING
My mom would always make sure she or dad paid, saying you can keep your money for yourself (which I initially thought was very sweet)
Now I see how I am dependent on them for all

What ever I have bought can be put into a polythene bag and that's all my life (I generally spend on food and stuff that goes away)
I have bought certain items for family or the house, but that isn't mine obviously 

I need to get out of the house, my mental health is at the edge

I want to move out of my parents home

get out, experience the world, and then you will realise there nothing better than home. 
  
 I was in somewhat same situation as yours, I have a very controlling dad. in my 12th I had made my mind to do b.tech from a very far away college from a different state. then stayed away many years in different cities for job. I now realise the importance of being at home with family. when we grow up our parents grow too. we(dad n me) are now best friends. we drinked for the first time together last year and that was a very special moment for me.

Founder

Welcome to Software Engineers's Private Community

Hi Folks I'm graduated in 2023 from a Tier 3 College with 7LPA at a startup 
I'm working here in automation but framework is company built and I'm feeling like I'm learning nothing
I want to switch to dev 
But these DSA and everything scare me I'm good to nothing
And I don't see a scope in Quality Engineering
And I have a student loan to pay of its of sum around 8 Lakhs
I want to switch to a high paying job
Because I live with my family
I pay rent 15k Sister takes care of groceries and stuff
I need high pay job but I feel I'm good to no where
What should I do please, tell me how to handle stuff
Sometimes I panic and cry alone 
Need  your suggestion please will matter a lot to me 🙏

Quality Engineer is Good or Bad

I think the current phase in my life is the lowest I am already PIPed by swiggy and I have broken up with my gf.

Feeling like my life has reached the end. Can't sleep at all specially after the break up. Now I regret for blocking her atleast I should have waited until getting into some company. But now I don't want to go to her due to some personal reasons.

It feel sucks. I am not able to focus on interview preparation. I am not in depression but my mental health is shit right now and gets headache daily.
Please help me shall I consult some doctor for this or is this okay. I don't have much friends that's why I am asking here

I genuinely need help

Sorry for posting here. Can anyone help me

Sorry to hear what you're going through. It may sound cringe but praying to god helped me during my tough times. 
 Talk to your parents and siblings if you're on good terms. If nothing helps talk to a psychologist. 
 I may get flack for saying this, but right now you have a much bigger problem to deal with, i.e. PIP. Start preparing for interviews during weekends and try to finish your office work diligently.  
  
 As for your relationship, no one here knows how serious you were about it. If both of you hadn't considered making it long term, I would say it's better to keep things the way they are right now. I had a pretty bad breakup few years back, but now when I look back, all I can do is laugh about the fact that,  I was head over heals for such a shitty person. 
  
 It's my suggestion and I might be completely wrong and being a d*ck here. You have to decide what's utmost important to you write now. 
  
 Prioritize your physical and emotional well-being, then your work, and then someone else. Wish you all the best.

Software Engineer

Hi guys
I am facing some issues with my family members, they are constantly trying to convince me to get married with someone, although my mom is supportive but my dad is not, I am fighting with them almost everyday, i somehow left my job life been on bench since long periods, not able to Focus properly on my health, not able to sleep properly at night time, got infections in my body, I am feeling shattered don't know what should I do

I'm 26F working in an IT service based company, I need your suggestions guys

Thank you

Negative Energy at home

I don't have a good family harmony and father is not supportive . My sister has health issues she has done 1 year btech when covid was there now she doesn't wants to join college she Has a 2year back now .she is not understanding importance of education. I am depressed

Stresssed very much

I am from a conservative family, and during my first long-distance, my mother had extreme problems with her. We broke up recently, and my mother has not changed. She still stalks our socials and thinks I am talking to or meeting her as if it is a sin to do that. I came home from a business trip yesterday, and I want to go out back again to escape from this.

I cannot spend my late 20s like this anymore. I am a freelancer, so I do not have an excuse to move out, but living like this is suffocating. 

Any advice?

I want to move out.

I've been of the opinion that I don't want to marry and will enjoy life single. Turned 28 this year and for some reasons, my thoughts and perceptions changed and decided to give it a shot. 
Installed a matrimony app and didn't find much things happening there until I found a girl whom I thought I would give a try. I requested a match which got accepted very soon.
Fast forward, it's been 2 months since we whastapped each other. The only thing bothering me is that she's working in audit and says that she's too busy for texts, calls etc. And over the course of this 2 months period, we only managed to call each other thrice(including 1 video call). I had asked her to atleast try to call me but she's too busy/ not feeling well/ tired etc.
I really had feelings for her initially, but even after multiple attempts, she still keeps me waiting, I feel I'm slowly losing it and have reached a stage where i don't feel anything. 
What should I do?
P.S. we live in different time zones with a difference of 1.5 hours and by the time I'm back from gym, it'll be 11-11:30 pm her side. I try to have food and everything very quickly and make time for her everyday, only to be disappointed most days.
And most of her texts are scattered, with time gaps ranging from 10-16 hours at times. 
She tells me she's too exhausted and has no energy for anything but I am cent percent sure that she is using phone for insta, twitter etc even when my chats are waiting.

Finding your behalf

24 years and i feel like skipping one or two years of my life 
Why is the life so hard? I know everyone have struggles more than i do but i cant help but feel sad and frustrated all time
Staying away from family in a different city with a stupid job( job is there but no project or work from more than one year) 
Not able to switch job because i do not have experience 
Being alone with no friends in pg or office 
No work to keep myself busy 
Could not find any clubs or volunteer programs to try 
Tonnes of relatives in this city but no one that cares about me or not even texts me once in a month to check how i am 
I am so frustrated and sad 
Not able to overcome homesickness
Not able to start studying at all 
Not anymore interested in anything
Nd cannot forget the stupid pg food at all 

Life is like test after test now 
One bad news after another 
Cannot find positives

I wish i could skip an year or two of my life

Feeling worried all the time

I am 28 year old, unmarried and staying at Bangalore working at Cognizant

Problems in my life

1. I am fighting with my own parents because I love a guy from different religion.
He is my school mate and very good person. We both are at IT firm. He earns 38LPA and I earn 16LPA. Financially we are good and we both have very good understanding of each other.

2. I have health issues like pcod , thyroid, gas trouble and digestion issues. Constantly taking tablets and feeling exhausted all the time.

3. I have very toxic work culture at office. My manager literally forces us to work like hell. She doesn't concern about our health issues and treats like robots.

I am always thinking about work and getting anxiety issues. Currently I feel like taking break from everything and focus on myself but money is also important because i want to financially independent.
My brain is constantly worried thinking about future like work, health and money. Nothing really helps me and I feel worried all the time.

Anxiety, depression issues in personal and professional life

Senior Data Engineer

I woke up with a notification that started with “Hope you had a great weekend. Unfortunately…”

I didn’t have the courage to open the entire mail. I knew what it was. 

A little context here, i have been unemployed for the last 5 months. I got laid off from my first job with not even an year of work experience. We all know how bad the market condition is, and how harsh it is for freshers. Me being the optimistic person that i am, ignored all these setbacks and began my hunt for my next dream job. With the help of my friends, I started preparing for interviews. I was lucky enough to get shortlisted for few good companies. But somehow or the other things always went south and i ended up without an offer. I made sure to not get disheartened and keep trying my best with a positive attitude. And then i interviewed with this one company, that perfectly aligned with me. All my interviews went well and made it till the final round. Now it was a call from the leadership. I strongly believed that this is my shot. After months of feeling stuck, I thought this is going to be my moment of relief. Even though this journey was hard i made sure to enjoy every bit of it. 

But now here i am with another rejection mail. I am now questioning my entire belief system. And not sure what to do next.

Any advice/suggestions are welcome :)

How hurt are you today?

Do not attach your work to your self worth. You are worthy of many things even if you don't have a dream job. Don't limit yourself or judge yourself this early in your career. Have patience and give it time. You'll be alright.

Generalist

Which part of adulting were you not ready for?

Seeing parents getting old and inactive 🥲

Category Manager

I am 33M, started working at 20. Earned 87LPA when I was dropped off in June 23. I am a very responsible person who had taken care of everything in the family for quite some time. My parents and relatives and everyone else who know me well, know this and kost have appreciated this at some point.
My sister separated from her husband 6 months after my marriage and had been living with me and my wife since then till COVID hit.
My mother has anger issues and my father is very obedient to her. I love my parents and they loved me I think.
Post COVID I moved to my hometown (because family) and things started going downhill. My mother will almost entire day find every faults in my wife and share it with everyone with an angry tone. I just listened to her initially for 2 years but at times I told her that it's enough.
Now she has started fighting me. After the fight I would go and apologize to her knowing that it's not my fault just to make things right.
This time when my mother fought with me she taunted me that you will come back and apologize. This hurted me even more than the fight.
Now I am not going back to apologize and she's escalating it every day. Convinced my father and my eldest sister(happily married) that I am a bad son. Shares messages like "maa bap ko pareshan krne vale bachho ko kya fal milta hai" in WhatsApp groups.
She has even asked me to vacate home. I am unemployed at the moment and I told her I will when I have a job.
I don't know how to deal with it. I can't convince people in the family that she has anger issues.

Not Sure How I can come out of this🥲

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