Take your chance, people!

What's the hack? Where's the template?

The past year has been the best! I'm engaged to my long-term partner, making the first person I loved, my last. I'm working in my dream company and dream role I've finally moved out and have a healthy distance from my controlling family I wish I could say all of the above but you know what they say "You plan. God laughs' My life has become a joke. After years and years of nurturing my relationship and working on myself, I've achieved nothing personally or professionally. Being an overthinker, I'd detail everything from plan 'A' to plan 'Z' to ensure my dreams come true. I had an extraordinarily amazing relationship but when it came down to marriage he didn't have time to even think about it. I have a brilliant resume filled with distinction grades, extracurriculars, and leadership roles, and yet I couldn't score an interview let alone be shortlisted for any role I wanted. With no choice, I'm stuck in a job that I absolutely hate and have no interest in! And finally, after 26 years of living with my family and growing up to be a responsible adult and doing everything and more, they ask me, they still think the worst of me, call me names, hardly acknowledge my presence, and make me feel guilty for barely living my life. I'm honestly so emotionally drained and feel like my whole life has been a struggle, hoping for things to get better someday. But all I feel is stuck. Everyone around me is moving on with their lives - getting married, moving to a new city/country, getting roles in dream companies and I'm nowhere close to anything I want. Being a practical and logical person I would usually not take advice from random strangers on the internet but I'm keeping an open mind and I'd love to hear your thoughts on my depressing life! 💔 People below 25 yrs don't bother commenting, unless you want to start a crowd fund for my therapy. P.S. The last para is a joke. Don't come at me about it in the comment section. I do need therapy though, but can't afford it. Not from an experienced psychologist at least.

How to find true love? Need genuine suggestions. Please help me

Some background, I went to a T-1 school for my undergrad. Did many great internships and went to several hackathons around the globe. Made great money doing GSoC in my second year. I was the happiest back then. I was making more money than any of my friends, the world was for taking and I was Alexander, the world ripe for conquering. Fast forward to today and I think I have done a disservice to my potential. Even if I still am the pot-smoking liberal teen that I was, I feel that I could have taken extreme risks when I was young. I could have still gotten my current job easily. I hardly work more than 3-4 hours in a day. I am always wondering what to do with my time and it feels like life has stagnated with nothing to look forward to except how much money I can realistically make over time. I feel when I look in the mirror, I am still the same person I was. Except, I have lost some hair ofcourse and some hair has turned white(blame bangalore water ig?). Here is my advice to anyone young, hungry, smart and ambitious... You only miss the shots you never take. So take your chances and shoot your shots. No one cares about you as much as you do. So if you got one life, why wouldn't you make it the best movie that it can ever be? Ps: I am looking for new ideas to start my own new venture. If any VCs are interested in hearing my idea, you can reach out to me in DMs. I will share my Calendly there.

M29 / Never felt love ever in my entire life I’m a M/29 good looking , well educated and in a good paying job. All through my life I’ve never felt loved or been in a proper relationship. Ive been respected , valued but never really “loved “. Ive got a really good friends circle and good parents who love me but this is different . I’ve liked a couple of girls in the past , spoke to them for a while but never took off until a relationship level. I’m also not a person who would shoot a shot at every girl just to be in a relationship . Currently I feel really desperate to be loved . I love myself but there’s a constant desire to be loved by someone . sometimes even a small act of affection from opposite gender makes me wonder if it’s love . People would know constantly ask me why I’m single even after being a well qualified bachelor which hurts even more. Looking for some genuine advice how to get over this feeling or if this feeling is valid .

I got huge love and support from Grapeviners on my wedding posts https://share.gvine.app/xmMLoy48oRDNkJ7G7 So me and my beautiful lady got married last week, Friday. Earky morning 14th, I along with my close friends left for wedding destination. All of this was conveyed to my family (Mother & Sister) and on the morning of 14, my mother said, “Do think one last time.” I replied with the same to her. On our way, my Sister called me and said, stleast you should have met me before going. But post this call she called my to be wife and asked for her Mother’s and Brother’s mobile number. In reply my to be wife(now wife) replied that “Why? And I have to ask “me” for this”. She then called me. I called my sister and she started spewing things against her to me. She started convincing that if she is not respecting us today how will she respect us in future. And they also threatened to book a tickets for them to come to the destination. Then my maternal uncle called my friend and told him “Whatever is happening is wrong, and if you can stop it plz stop”. Lot was happening over phone. My mother and sister were continuously asking me to cancel the marriage and come back home. I was getting worried, what if they come tomorrow. They are in process of taking any step to halt the things. We all reached destination, got a warm welcome from my to be wife’s family. Few events started happening and we all started enjoying them. In evening I met my to be wife and she was worried and fearful. What is they(my mom, sister and Maternal uncle) come at the location. They will create a scene and there are lot of family members over there. To escape this, I took a call to tell my family that I ran away from the marriage. I kept them involved in this till the marriage got over. But even till now, I have not told them that I got married. Now I want to tell them this but have to figure out how?

I saw a friend tweet about how Bangalore is full of connected but lonely people jumping in to join every Meetup/WhatsApp group that becomes available. This is my problem with the meetup / conference culture. Meetup culture is all about optionality. You think you'll meet someone new who's cool. Someone who can help you build your network. You would rather join a meetup with 100 other strangers than build stronger connections with your friends. In life there are only a few people who really matter. People who you can call at 11 PM to rant about your workday. People who you know will be genuinely happy about your promotion. People you share screenshots from work with. It is not probably the 100 strangers in that Whatsapp group that you think of when you are having a health issue and want to share your fears. It also means lowering your ego, which I'm happy to do with my old friends. I'm always happy to ping them when I get the chance, and I'm the one asking them to call me. I'm the one who asks them to hang out with me. I used to think, "Why bother?" but then I realised that it doesn't matter who reaches out first. It is not about keeping a count. I realised it's for me! If I have a chat with a friend of mine who I have known for over 10 years, my mood improves immediately. Everyone is very busy. Everyone is stressed with their jobs and their personal lives. Some of them are married now. Some have children. But that's where you've got to work to keep connecting with the people who matter to you. Friendship is also about being vulnerable. True friendship is built on vulnerability. Being able to share your dreams, your failures and your demons with each other. While the meetup culture is all about bumping into people for 5 minutes to judge their worth and whether they are worth your time, my preference is for long 1-1s. Either on the phone or face to face. I am happy to meet just one person over the weekend and have hours of conversation about work, life or wha

People who don't have frnds/gf/bf, what you guys do on weekends and how do you spend time. I feel so bored during weekends . Suggest something.

Hello Viners, I graduated in 2019,(27 male) most of my life I have worked from home. I am an introvert,Recently I got a new job offer and I am finally moving to Bangalore. My mom is asking me to get married. The main concern of my mom : As I get older, getting good rishta is difficult. My situation: As of now I don't have any loans to pay. Throughout my life,I have spent a significant amount of my money to take care of my older brother's education and family responsibilities. Now,my dad says I am still young to get married. I am torn between my mom and dad.Of course,at the end of the day it will be my decision I won't make decisions due to my mom's pressure. But I have seen my colleagues in 29-30s struggling to get married.is it same across whole india? Just wanted to ask fellow viners,when did you think you were ready to get married?