Fear of Being Alone

(I know Osho type question hai but just curious)

Nowadays, it is difficult to maintain friendships (old friends) as many are pursuing dreams and for that one has to shift for other countries/state and the rest busy with there jobs and family business. New friends are difficult to make where people already have there groups of bunch of friends where they don’t want anyone else to join (old friends groups) & also as the smaller groups are easy to manage and for execution of any plans. While growing up due to change in habits (smoking, drinking, etc) of our friends we did lose few.. and now they don’t call me up for any plans! So, basically i am left alone with nobody by my side apart from cousins of same age (more or less)! Most of the time, I spend my day working on my business.. or at times, working out or reading books.. But at times, i am left alone with my own thoughts and that feeling at times is exhausting and frustrating and sometimes this loneliness becomes toxic! Can anyone help.. how can we make friends in midst of all this?

I am currently in college. I don't know why, but I constantly need to be around people to feel happy, otherwise I feel depressed. I feel I don't have any value and will have any value only if someone else approves me. I fear going for lunch or dinner alone. I fear people will judge me if they see me alone. I am scared to be lonely. Why?

Is it okay to be alone rather than being with guys I don't like. College friends are the worst I have ever had.

I’m a very private person and I was a bit confused whether I should write here or not, but anyway. So, day before yesterday I was sitting on my chair after dinner and was thinking about my life and what the hell am I doing. I realised that, Saala bachpan se aaj tak race me hi bhaag raha hun. Pehle school me 1st, 2nd, 3rd aane ki race me. Then acche college milne ki race me. Then uske baad acchi job milne ki race me. Then uske baad agar ladki chahiye toh uske liye bhi ek race hai (Don’t have a gf, plz don’t take me wrong, it was a realisation) My current daily routine is like this: Wakeup everyday, write code, go gym, dinner, and then sleep and repeat this cycle everyday. School ke dost peeche chhoot gaye, college ke dost apni life me busy ho gaye, colleagues se main zyada baat nhi karta and main akela padh gaya. Feels like life is not intriguing anymore, it has no spark left. Its so painful to live everyday. I feel like I don’t want to live any more, I want to die but I can’t cuz of 2 reasons. 1. I’m the only son of my parents. 2. If I die like this, then I won’t be able to come out from the birth cycle. That’s it 🙏🏼

I have been a little caught up with numerous things in my life lately and have finally found some free time to open up myself to new experiences. I had a wishlist of shows and movies that I wanted to watch but as soon as I start watching them, I get bored and feel like turning it off. No, its not the content No, its not the genre No, its not the actors No, its not the taste either This is pretty ironic as considering the fact that I have spent a fair share of my youth chasing academics and career, my heart had always craved for life experiences. I had to let go of the woman I loved simply because I was too focussed on my JEE. I wont be able to forgive myself for that EVER. It almost felt like I had lost a limb, without which , I would be rendered disfunctional. Thats a separate story tho. Nothing excites me (yep nothing) Nothing amuses me Nothing feels lively I have no clue where my life is headed I understand that as we age, our triggers of happiness change. I have put concious efforts into knowing what those new triggers are. But I cant find any plausible sources of happiness. I am performing pretty well with my career. Even got a double digit hike. But didnt feel that kick of joy. Have I approached a dead end?

Is it just me or is even a job at the best Tech companies just don’t make any sense for women? There are always women who have great family support or husbands that are understanding and encouraging. But generally why does it seem like becoming a senior woman in tech even at the best places is sort of unattractive and significantly increases your odds of “failure” outside of work e.g. divorce,having kids late? Interested for thoughts from both men and women.

I saw a friend tweet about how Bangalore is full of connected but lonely people jumping in to join every Meetup/WhatsApp group that becomes available. This is my problem with the meetup / conference culture. Meetup culture is all about optionality. You think you'll meet someone new who's cool. Someone who can help you build your network. You would rather join a meetup with 100 other strangers than build stronger connections with your friends. In life there are only a few people who really matter. People who you can call at 11 PM to rant about your workday. People who you know will be genuinely happy about your promotion. People you share screenshots from work with. It is not probably the 100 strangers in that Whatsapp group that you think of when you are having a health issue and want to share your fears. It also means lowering your ego, which I'm happy to do with my old friends. I'm always happy to ping them when I get the chance, and I'm the one asking them to call me. I'm the one who asks them to hang out with me. I used to think, "Why bother?" but then I realised that it doesn't matter who reaches out first. It is not about keeping a count. I realised it's for me! If I have a chat with a friend of mine who I have known for over 10 years, my mood improves immediately. Everyone is very busy. Everyone is stressed with their jobs and their personal lives. Some of them are married now. Some have children. But that's where you've got to work to keep connecting with the people who matter to you. Friendship is also about being vulnerable. True friendship is built on vulnerability. Being able to share your dreams, your failures and your demons with each other. While the meetup culture is all about bumping into people for 5 minutes to judge their worth and whether they are worth your time, my preference is for long 1-1s. Either on the phone or face to face. I am happy to meet just one person over the weekend and have hours of conversation about work, life or wha

I have been in this industry for 4 years now and there is not a single day that i hated this place any less. Today 9th August 2023 i am all alone in my room thinking to myself about what’s the point of this? I have no life i am all alone and tbh i have no real friends. A few of them that i do have are so far away from me busy in their life. No love life no social life. At 27 i feel wasted, done, finished let me clarify not in a suicidal way. I just feel exhausted my body is breaking down by the day i feel. I am just broken at this point and feel like quitting this profession altogether. I just don’t feel happy. The more i work the more irritated and frustrated i get. To top all that i have no one to share my emotions with here. Call it whatever you may wanna call a cry for help, a rant or nonsense. I am at that point where every morning feels like punishment. Every night that i go to bed i try to stay positive but i am not able to. I just hate everything. I am not a lazy man i work for 10-12 hours everyday and i think now that has finally got to me as i feel finished. I don’t know if anyone will read it or not i just wanted to reach out to people or anyone who feels like me. Broken tired and just done with everything.