Mostly a rant but I guess also a cry for help that I have been subduing for a long time now. I have never felt alone at times in my life as well as lost, but they have always been at 2 different times. Never together. Always it has been a purpose or the company I am in (not work, social circle) that kept driving me forward. At times both. But now, its neither. Ever since I was a kid, I had dreamt up a picture of my bachelor life. A great social circle of close friends. A place to live in most comfortable way possible. Finances so stable that I don't have to think twice before getting something I wanted and felt needed. Working or doing something that kept me excited for it. And here I am today, sitting and wondering, I have achieved just the 2nd part of it. Everything else is still a dream. I lost the close knit friend circle and I think its a huge list of misunderstandings and small mistakes that caused it and I can't see a way back. Financially, I have no savings and I have spent money like there is no tomorrow for past 5 years. I have a job that doesn't drive me at all, while just 2 years back I was excited to face the new challenge I am gonna get the next day. I have no idea what to do and where to go. I feel in my gut that this is going to be a similar phase in my life that I have faced before. This may go on for the next 1 to 2 years and then I would emerge out of it and value what I have more than ever. But still this phase eats at the inside of me at times and I just feel empty.
Thanks for reading till the end.
Work feels mostly empty once you have worked 5-10 years or more. People don't do it because they like it, they do it for survival and because it's better than doing nothing.
Meaningful work is harder to find than friends tbh. You can still socialise, revive old connections, spend more time with family and make plans with them.
Having friends and good people in life is almost a necessity though. You can't really survive without people who can support you.
That's true. I guess I have been depending too much in getting fulfilment from work rather than myself. A lot of introspection ahead!
Hey but If you need someone who can listen to you or you wanna talk you can DM ! I also used to feel alone and empty but I always kept myself busy but still it makes me remember about those lone days !
Thanks! I will definitely hit you up once I recharge my social capacity 😅.
I would start with lowering the expectations of how relationships are supposed to be, and where you're supposed to be in life them. Relationships take work to maintain, so no surprises when we don't prioritise them they wither.
Life is empty, great that you're finding it out by experience. Now fill it up with what you like.
I do agree with you on expectations from relationships and its always a learning experience when new bond forms and an old one breaks. The balance between too less space and too much space is crucial.
Definitely gonna fill life up with some more space (padding: 20px 🤣)
Koi na. It goes away with time
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