Panic after resigning from a toxic workplace
I'm typing this out as a way of collecting my thoughts and feeling a bit normal to take myself through the day. Context: I have been working with a small b2b IT firm for the last 1.5 years, and resigned yesterday. This was my first job straight out of MBA and it has sucked the soul out of me to say the least. The notice period is 3 months and I am really unsure how will I survive it considering that I'm already completely drained. I do not want to list out the reasons of how this place has been toxic for me because I also carry a lot of self doubt if it was really the toxicity of the place or my own incapability to handle the work. I do not have any offer in hand, and haven't started a job search either. Just wanted to put this out there to see if people here in the community have been in a similar situation in their professional lives and how did they figure out the uncertainty, was it a good decision for them in retrospect and if they have any tips for me to deal with this better, with less anxiety.
First of all congratulations! You're out of that hell hole how and you can now recover and realign.
Second - You'll be okay. Anxiety tricks you into thinking the worst possible thing will happen to you. It convinces you that it's the only possible outcome.
I'd say the first couple of days - just be. Do what you want. Decide that in the first week you'll consciously do nothing job related - the one you left and the one you should find. You'll need this time to feel like yourself again. Do things that bring you calm and joy. Nothing to big, could be as simple as a walk or making your favourite kind of sandwich.
After a week - do the following things :
1. List out every single thing you did at this job
2. Use this info to update the CV - it'll take multiple iterations. Send it to people for feedback, ask them to be candid, use chatgpt whenever relevant
3. Make a list of companies you want to work with
4. Visit their portal and other job portals
5. Find relevant jobs
6. Find people in your circle who can refer you. If you do not know any reach out to people on LinkedIn. Send request to multiple people to have a big top of the funnel
7. Simultaneously write down questions that you might be asked in an interview
8. Meet people you like
9. Do some kind of work out
10. Apply to jobs with referal
11. Repeat
Remember - you'll be okay.
I wish I had this guide when I got laid off from my first job recently. Took me close to 4 months in figuring all this out myself.
Just wanted to add to this. Keep yourself healthy and fit. Anxiety kicks in hard during this time and it gets harder + lazier to exercise mentally and physically
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President_Trump
Stealth
a year ago
Unpopular opinion: Companies with B2B business model sucks and most of the time it is because of clients.
SuperiorNote
Stealth
a year ago
I agree with you, most of the issues at my job have been because the client dependencies have just kept mounting up. And I end up feeling the pressure of all this friction cause ownership is mine. I'm always told that help is available internally if I reach out, but it is really not.
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Just FYI, you're not legally bound to serve your notice period, if you can, and feel like it's determental to your mental health, please feel free to quit sooner
I don't know if it's just me or my luck but I personally feel like every workplace I've ever been to is toxic and I can't wait to get out. It's a huge reason why I work from home, so I have the comfort or safety of my family around me. If I have to go to a physical office, I'd constantly be on the edge of a nervous breakdown. You're not the only one and it's not always about work pressure or your ability to handle work, it's a combination of a lot of things
So there aren't any solid laws around this as such, but you have the Fundamental Right to free profession and trade and no one can force you to work when you don't want to. Legally speaking, you can leave the company whenever you want to (as long as you also forgo the pay for that period). It may lead to some spoiled corporate relationships, yes.
I'm sure there would be case laws supporting this, though
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Been in a similar situation.
Consult a therapist if you are actually getting panic attacks.
Read some books, do meditation and have faith in yourself.
Books that i can recommend
-everything is figureoutable
-surrender experiment
-dont believe in everything you think
-stop overthinking
Qwerty2398
Stealth
a year ago
its normal... i have had the same.. Plan to study something for 2-3 months after you quit. It will feel like you did something and lessen the stress a bit. If you cant find a job in that time, at least you will get an idea of what is the skill they are looking for.
SuperiorNote
Stealth
a year ago
Yes, I have signed up for a few things that I've always wanted to explore but couldn't because of being in the rat race. Additionally also considering some skill building courses as you mentioned. Thanks
Can you please let me know what you signed up for ? And other things you are exploring? If you are comfortable
Travel and Reflect back... You will get answer from within.
Read bhagwad Geeta also
Hey, don’t punish yourself too much. Things are worse to people. At least for you decision was in your hands, recently people saw waves of uncertainty where they had no control.
Stay strong, you will emerge stronger!
SuperiorNote
Stealth
a year ago
You're right, I'm lucky to have a support system who's fine with me quitting. Thank you, this really helps!
Toxic workplaces have the ability to insidiously erode your confidence. So it’s important for you to recognise that the self doubt is misplaced in your case. Others have already commented on alternatives to explore if there is a job hiatus so best of luck!
I have been there - 4 times in my life across 15 years of job+entrepreneurship :)
=====
First
STAY POSITIVE! See how you can bring your emotions to a happy place
DOs: expose yourself to pleasant people, eat your fav food, watch some light comedy, talk to your best buddies and ask how their life is going.
DONTs: Avoid anything agitating including arguments, thinking about past stressors, drinking, sad/emotional movies etc.
You will notice the change within yourself moving away from agitation and more towards towards pleasantness which is the natural human state just like an infant - happy for no real reason.
Remember no one can bug you without your consent. At this moment don’t draw unnecessary conclusions about people and situations around you. JUST CHILL!
====
Second
Once you are in chill zone - now take action. See what you want to do next. You have a long way to go if you finished your MBA just 2 years ago. You will find your next adventure- dont worry about not having a backup etc. Nobody needs to tell you about how India is growing and plenty opportunities around.
This may sound like gyan but trust me - these wounds will make you wise. Be humble. Eventually you will also learn how to smile through unpleasant situations.
When you leave your firm - avoid negative conversations. Say good bye to folks you enjoyed working with.
====
Third (and most important)
UPSKILL yourself like a maniac! There is an inherent joy in learning new things - you are young - ride that wave of energy!
CONNECT with random people from LinkedIn, your local neighborhood etc. Its easier than ever now. People go through so much - hearing about how others navigated their job/health/relationship is a humbling experience.
SoftBidding
Stealth
a year ago
I was in your place. Same situation (1.5 years if work ex, first job after mba). I was about to resign, but my loans and emi asked me not to. I suffered the toxicity in silence. Maybe it was my luck that they decided to put me on PIP (even after I met all revenue targets). I was devastated. I cried a lot. I started caluclating my savings and monthly expenses to check how much runway I have till my next job. I cancelled all my subscriptions (Netflix, PS5 plus, prime etc etc).
But that Day I decided to standup and fight the circumstances instead of feeling helpless. I made a plan, did 20 applications per day, left the job early (as I was not interested in clearing that PIP), Stopped picking up their calls, focussed on myself.
Long story short, within a matter of 35 days, I converted 3 job offers. Today I accepted the offer that is in my hometown, and will reject the other two.
satan
Stealth
a year ago
Good decision indeed.
I was in the same boat last month; I resigned without any offers in hand, and everyone in my network was shocked that I was doing stupidity. But they hired me back actually due to dependency; I had a few concerns, and they worked upon them.
I was firm with my decision. Give me a hike as per standard and improve learning opportunities. I was being stress tested, I guess. Checking my patience level to see if maybe I change my decision on the last day. Jokes on them!
Don’t worry, it’ll workout for you as well. Wishing you luck.
I am in a similar boat as you, but too scared to resign
The comments make me feel like maybe I could resign from my hell hole too.
Hope you get some new opportunities soon!
Sending good wishes your way
ProfessionalCurser
Stealth
a year ago
Quit without another offer brother same story as you. 1.5 years of toxic manager and workplace bullying by fellow colleagues fucked my mental health and I screamed at my manager as I left and cut off everyone from the team. Landed a offer very soon with 60% hike, esops, remote working and every single thing I wanted. And they agreed for me asking to take a break for a month. Unfortunately just 10 days before my joining the company went thru finance troubles (long story but its genuine af, all competitors suffering too) and has put my joining on “indefinite hold” which we all know means you’re fucked. I was devasted just as I thought ok I’m gonna be okay. And back I was in the mkt after 2 months of enjoying peace and quiet. Its not been easy for sure but I’m managing just fine and dont regret my decision at all. First I had to forcefully leave a job that made me cry every single day and then I lost my dream offer. What utter shit to happen to someone on after the other man. But still I can tell you this - you will be FINE. I don’t regret quitting for a day. If its for your mental health, you did the right thing. Dont worry about your reasons being right or wrong. Mental health is not a competition and whatever it was, you couldn’t work that way. Jobs will come. Things DO work out. This is the one thought that gets me out of bed every morning as I apply to places. And bohot call backs aa rahe hain yaar. I am the picky one for wanting good culture. Dont worry. You will be FINE.
AllMonkey5Saviour
Stealth
a year ago
Same situation as me bro keep learning skills
I'm happy that all the answers offered here are positive, and your decision to step back and reevaluate a toxic workplace will help you than hinder you.
View the 3 months now as your ticket to freedom. Explore things that you actually want to do in your career. You just plan your KT and work responsibilities ahead and gear up for your next job.
Fallenangel86
Stealth
a year ago
Similar experience with a "start-up" analytics firm present for almost 20 years..Workload was simply unmanageable and work was of very bad quality. Work culture much worse. Had to resign in 10 months and had to take up something transient not of interest to come out of the stress. Notice period was a month. Didn't do a zilt in notice period
Happened to me also . I was a part of a toxic culture. I resigned without an offer letter in hand. Got a job after a few months . One of my previous manager helped me find the job. The intermediate period was full of anxiety but I never regretted my decision. While searching for job i focussed on working out and my passion for writing. Really helped.
SuperiorNote
Stealth
a year ago
thank you for sharing, I'm also trying to work on my physical health and doing things that interest me. It def seems helpful
Take one step at a time. Believe in your self. Trust the process, don't worry about the outcome.
@SuperiorNote - I’m also an MBA graduate (batch 2022) will be resigning next week due to exact same reasons. Share me ur telegram ID. We can connect.
Mxmaster
Stealth
a year ago
Prioritize your health and peace. Don't worry. I know a few folks who took a similar step and are doing completely fine both life wise and work wise.
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