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Attending an “All Hands Meet” is absolutely irritating

Management calls it an “All Hands Meet”, but the only hand that is meeting is the hand of the management to the cheek of an average employee. Probably attended 4 dozens of AHMs in varying market conditions and quite surprisingly EVERY AHM has the same format. A distinguished anchor adding fake enthusiasm starts the AHM with a delightful note thanking the leaders. The Sales or Delivery head will come and show us numbers and tell you we are the best of best. If our numbers are up, they’re going to go on about it for 30 minutes about how it is the team work, efforts and togetherness that helped us achieve this. If the numbers are down, they’re going to tell us we are still in a much better position and we are working in stealth to do much more. After all the “we is greatest of all time” bs, a People’s team representative will take over. They’ll boast about how we hired better, some random survey to show everyone is upskilling continuously (somebody was forced to take an online course), another random survey showing we are 157% AI Enabled (everybody was forced to give an unlimited attempts MCQ tests) and another survey about how 80% of the people are happy to work here. (Options were: Very Very Happy to work here, Very Happy to work here, Happy to work here, Delighted to Work Here, OK to work here). They’ll spend another slide about how we are the epitome of DEI. And conveniently skip anything about promotions or hikes. After 40 minutes of this exercise where we have established we are God, but a little better comes the god forsaken QnA. Every. Damn. Person. You know would’ve asked about compensation and promotions. But somehow they dig deep to find two questions which are absolute BS. Questions like: “aRe wE rEaDy fOr aRtIfIcIaL iNtElLiGeNcE”. 52 minutes done. Then one question about the hikes. “Uhh, so are we going to get the hikes? If yes, when are we going to get the hikes?” Then the Head of HR (who is in the room), who reports to the CEO (who is literally sitting next to them), tells us that they are evaluating macro parameters and doing industry analysis to bridge pay parity and give equitable hikes to top performers while still giving inflation-linked hikes as a base line to everyone. They’ll tell you they’re waiting for management to allocate a budget and they’re working with the CFO (the person sitting next to the CEO) to create a payment plan and that they’ll get back to you as soon as they have the clarity. 🫡 This entire AHM could be one single email. It would’ve saved hours of mental frustration. The only thing I learn from the AHM is that the company has money, but they won’t give it to you because yolo and I also learn the art of speaking a lot of words without conveying anything. 🫡 Relevant Video: Doublespeak, how to lie without lying? https://youtu.be/qP07oyFTRXc?si=0UUcLTfRH7wwCGiq Very useful if you’ve to get into Management.

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FittingFire

Capgemini

2 months ago

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Confessions on

by FreshRaita

Stealth

dirty tricks played by orgs to Lay Off employees

It's getting dirtier by the day and sure some orgs are still up to their dirty tricks. The models: - Appraise and then Lay Off: Why bother putting bandaid on a stab wound? Anyways the folks are going to fight how to answer the ..why were you laid off war, and now you are adding another twist.. why were you appraised and then laid off? - Low appraisals to force quit: Undervalue them so they leave on their own. It’s a leeches way to cut costs. Kill morale 100%. Severance penny spent $0. - Trap them in PIP: Dress it up however you want - very very few escape this death sentence. - Silent treatment: No assignments, No meetings. Watch them spiral into anxiety and leave to save their sanity. - Workload overload: Drown them in work until they break. No need for layoffs list until they make it to your collapse list first. - Strategic reorg: Re-organize them out of existence. Offer a demotion or a proxy role in a random team that you know they dont want as an alternative. - Sudden policy changes: oh! I have seen so many I can't keep up with this one. New policies that make their life hell. People leave to escape your pettiness. - Mandatory relocation: Demand they move to an undesirable location. Then you treat remote employees like outsiders. Exclude them from key projects, conversations until they feel like foster care kids, second-class citizens. You know the outcome from there on. - Use the "Culture Fit" excuse: Call out how they’re not a culture fit. Vague, unchallengeable, and forces them out without severance. And don't sell me "the org has got to do what it has got to do to survive" line. I don't buy that If you have seen this being done, I understand your silence, but I don't value it. If this has been done to you or someone close to you, I am sorry. Orgs and the people failed you. We could be 1000x better than what we are operating as.

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Indian Startups on

by ProfitableParable

Zomato

Why I make my PM team deliver food orders - no exceptions

Hey GV folks, long-time lurker, first-time poster here. I'm a product leader at Zomato, managing a team of 8 PMs. Today, I want to share a practice that's become the cornerstone of our product philosophy - and it all started with me being "punished" by my first manager. At the cost of self praising, this is some really good advice so I hope you’re able to extract the maximum value out of this. Five years ago, I was a cocky new PM, fresh out of a fancy consulting gig. I thought I knew everything about our users based on data and surveys. My wake-up call came when I royally screwed up a feature release. Instead of firing me, my manager did something unconventional - she made me spend a week as a delivery partner. I was pissed. Riding around Bangalore in the March heat, navigating traffic, dealing with hangry customers - how was this supposed to make me a better PM? But on day three, while waiting for an order outside Truffles (fellow Bangaloreans, you know the wait I'm talking about), I struck up a conversation with a few seasoned delivery partners. What I learned in those 30 minutes blew my mind. They shared hacks they'd developed, pain points I'd never considered, and insights about customer behavior that no amount of data could have revealed. I realized I'd been building features in a vacuum, completely disconnected from the real world our app operated in. That week changed everything. I rewrote our entire product roadmap based on what I learned. The results? Our delivery partner satisfaction scores shot up, and our order completion rates improved significantly. Since then, I've made it a point to spend one day every month doing deliveries. It keeps me grounded, provides constant insights, and reminds me who we're really building for. When I started managing other PMs, I knew I had to institutionalize this practice. Now, it's mandatory for everyone on my team to do a delivery day once a month. No exceptions. At first, there was resistance. "We have data for this," they'd argue. "I can't waste a whole day delivering food!" But after their first experience, they got it. Now, our team meetings are buzzing with insights from the field. Here's why I believe every product manager should regularly step into their users' shoes: 1. Data doesn't tell the whole story: Numbers can show you what's happening, but not why. Real interactions reveal the context behind the data. 2. Empathy drives innovation: When you experience user pain points firsthand, you're more motivated to solve them creatively. 3. It challenges assumptions: Nothing humbles you faster than realizing your "brilliant" feature is actually a pain to use in the real world. 4. It builds credibility: When you can say "I've done this myself," your team and stakeholders listen differently. 5. It's a reminder of impact: In the daily grind of KPIs and metrics, it's easy to forget that we're affecting real people's lives. This practice keeps that front and center. Some practical tips if you want to try this: - Don't just observe. Actually do the job. - Engage in conversations. Users (and front-line workers) are usually eager to share their experiences if you show genuine interest. - Look for workarounds and hacks. These are gold mines for product insights. - Pay attention to the environment and context in which your product is used. - Reflect on the experience immediately after. What surprised you? What frustrated you? To my fellow PMs out there: when was the last time you truly stepped into your users' shoes? If it's been a while, I challenge you to give it a try. You might just find your next big product breakthrough while waiting to pick up someone’s 1 am order from Empire :) P.S. Took a photo while waiting for my order, would probably have been fired long back had it not been for this evening!

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