Help me validate my 'Dream man' list

Disclaimer: I am not looking for any man, just want to confirm I am not delusional and can find such a person with all these qualities So, I was talking about the list and my friends laughed that I can't find one person who has all of these Here's it, for your review 1. Can cook (proper cooking, not maggi) 2. Can keep house clean (not mopping, just generally not throwing stuff around or leaving things and forgetting about them) 3. Can take care of himself (doesn't need to be babysit) 4. not a mumma's boy (you can love your mom but not run to her for everything) 5. Loves Bollywood (I like bollywood) 6. Loves cricket (I don't understand sports other than cricket) 7. Loves tea (I am tea > coffee person) 8. Is not an early bird (I cannot have ball of energy jumping around early morning) 9. understands Finance and investing better than regular people (because important) 10. Taller than me, that's a given thing (I'm 5'8") 11. Be decent funny but not make crass jokes on others (I think that's basic) 12. Most importantly, not want kids. I don't want them biological or test tubes or adoption You have to answer if these are can be one-man possibility Do not come back with "What do you bring to the table?" 😒